To go to HR?

[Inasec24]

I was off work on Friday. DD had to be collected from school early on Thursday (by DH) due to being ill and we needed to keep her off. In addition, I have also been ill all week and felt rough on Friday, so it was part sick day part family leave.

It wasn't a pleasant day - we are in an area with a high number of Strep A cases and I was worried about DD, ill myself, and logged on to my work email because 1. If I don't work a bit then I would be swamped when I get back- my work doesn't get covered exactly, it just builds up and 2. There is a safeguarding element to my job so missing emails is too risky.

My colleague on my team emailed asking for a meeting with me and a few others. I replied yes, a meeting is a good idea - if you book it in Outlook then you can see all of our calendars.

My line manager then replied to me with everyone else still copied in saying "can you do this please, we are all quite busy here today".

Now I know that I was on my email but I felt asking me to do something for someone else when I am off sick/on family leave was out of order. I replied saying yes I would be happy to when I'm back in - to clarify I am off sick/on family leave today so just checking emails when I can. I feel like the email sounded resentful that I was off work. I am very rarely absent - the last time was summer.

Leave it or speak to HR?

You are totally in the wrong here. You can’t have “part sick part family leave” you needed to pick one. Also if you are off work you are off work. You can’t start picking things up but expect people to leave you alone. You are being totally unreasonable.

1. If you're sick, don't work. It sends mixed messages. You have access to emails at home so if you're well enough to check emails then you're well enough to send a calendar invite. You either work, or you don't. If you're too sick for the office, but not too sick to check emails, then WFH.

1. To get around the safeguarding, you need to add an out of office explaining that your emails aren't being read and to redirect to XYZ.

1. Family leave is fine but most people I know with ill kids and access to work still work from home, albeit less productively. If your child is on the sofa, wrapped up and recovering, then you can send a work calendar invite.

I think you're clutching tbh. They are paying you. So you either work from home the best you can or you're sick and can't work at all.

This. People ring in sick to work, then we see they are online ‘just checking things’. No one knows whether they are looking at their emails in the group box or not, so no one knows what needs covered.

Parental leave would be different.

If you go to hr to ask your manager not to contact you whilst off sick, they'll probably ask you not to work whilst off sick 🤷🏽‍♀️

Yes exactly.

And common sense prevails

If you feel irritated enough to consider HR I suggest you speak to your manager (not HR). I would explain that you feel compelled to do some work because there is inadequate cover so could he look to resolve that as it means you can't focus on getting better. I would also tell him how his tone made you feel and could he be mindful in future.

I won't do either, I was just being silly.

I think being emotional about other stuff, I projected that emotion onto a work situation. It was my fault for emailing when off.

I will strive to be as perfectly rational at all times as all of you wonderful posters are in future. (Meant that last bit tongue in cheek before anyone gets more cross with me 😂)

You just do it the first day you are back at work. It's no biggie.

This office manager sound a right arse. I agree with you about the attitude. Perhaps put “out of office” on your office email so that it’s clear you aren’t picking up work that day for whatever reason. Just ignore it you are doing nothing wrong.

I think it is odd if you did actually say that your daughter was off ill & almost as a btw that you wee also ill.

Surely you being too ill to work would be all that was relevant?

Just about everyone I know at work checks emails when they're sick or on annual leave. Unless they're completely incapacitated, of course. We have our email accounts on our phones.

Very rarely am I that sick that I can't answer or send a quick email. I do kind of resent it sometimes, but that's usually when I'm actually really sick and don't feel up to anything other than being flat out in bed or on the sofa. It does really piss me off when I'm on holidays and I get emails/texts and calls. That's when I say to myself, "If I'm so irreplaceable to you, pay me more effing money!"

In short, it's entirely up to you whether you wish to be available or not. For myself, I play the game if I feel I need to - never hurts to shore up your position occasionally!

So what would you have done if one of the emails was about your safeguarding issues?

You logged on when you were off work.. mistake.

Then you don't get to choose

But it would have taken a few seconds to book the meeting on Outlook yourself, certainly much less time than it took you to email your colleague telling them to do it, or the time to write your mumsnet post?

What this is really about is your relationship with your boss. By telling you that you should do it because they’re so busy, he was basically saying he doesn’t think you’re pulling your weight. You have a problem in that your boss thinks you’re a bit lazy. I’d focus on trying to impress your boss / improve that relationships rather than investing time in whinging on Mumsnet. (If you approach HR you will look like a total idiot, this is not what HR is for.)

Emails can be a pain for misinterpretation. Is it possible you manager was actually asking you to book it because they are equally as frustrated with your colleage keep asking when everyone is free. As others had said I wouldnt have got into anything non urgent as it looks as tho you are actually trying to work but you have picked that up now so lesson learnt.

I mean this kindly but the issue was you being on your work emails when off sick. If you hadn’t, then your boss wouldn’t have thought you were working. The issue of being snowed under the the point of it causing you some worries outside of working hours is worth raising with your line manager I think. Hope you all feel better soon.

I am HR and a Manager. As a manager I,'d have said if you were sick to put on an out of office and not to work. I'd also have opened a sickness absence record for you.

My team would have told you if you were sick you shouldn't have been working.

My view is if you are looking after a child it's compassionate leave if paid and it's difficult to work. If you are sick, you shouldn't have been working. Both types of absence should be logged.

Grey areas arise when sickness isn't logged formally. Flexibility is great if everyone in the team is great; takes one tiddle taker to end it.

It sounds like you were seeking not to record the absence and then couldn't be as flexible as your boss wished.

Having said that, if you are dealing with such insurmountable volumes it is causing you stress, you need to raise that with your manager and they need to seek advice from HR. You may need a stress risk assessment, EAP access, support from the OH people. There may need to be a reallocation of work. I think this is the real issue.

My view is if you are looking after a child it's compassionate leave if paid and it's difficult to work.

But you're a manager in HR?

My view is if you are looking after a child it's compassionate leave if paid and it's difficult to work
@RosesAndHellebores

are you sure you’re an HR director? For a start, there is no legal requirement for compassionate leave to be paid.
and that’s just the start!

There is in the public sector. Apologies if I didn't make that clear. I may well ask, are you sure you have any manners?

Nope.
there is no universal public sector paid compassionate leave policy

Also @thewayround and @girlmom21 I wrote compassionate leave, if paid. Perhaps you could take the time to read the post and think about the words before questioning other people's knowledge, position or professionalism.

@thewayround there is in my sector. I'm sorry if it isn't in yours. Also, as I have pointed out already please read my words which included "if paid".

The thing is if you are online working you are not too ill to work. So I sort of get it.

No there isn’t a legal right to paid compassionate leave. Employment laws are across the board.

Your employer might have a policy of paid compassionate leave, this is not the same as a legal right, which was the point made.