Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To attend a SEN session without diagnosis

68 replies

Itsnotaferret · 10/12/2022 21:59

My DC is not diagnosed, though I often think that they may be. My question is AIBU? rather I have booked a SEN trampolining session in the morning for said DC and me knowing he doesnt have a need confirmed. It is a session of 60 and only 57 booked at this time for 9am tomorrow. My point is, they have no "toddler only" sessions on a weekend and my DC gets really overwhelmed with older children jumping around so I thought fuck it and booked onto the SEN session with only 3 places gone (this includes any adults and children) instead of a neurotyplical session with children if any age that I know my DC will be wary off and not enjoy at all.
AIBU?

OP posts:
Starlightstarbright1 · 10/12/2022 22:11

How old is your ds. To be honest Sen sessions generally have much older children who behave more unpredictably than standard sessions.

Original poster
Itsnotaferret · 10/12/2022 22:14

DC is 3 ans he has had bad experience with older children jumping around ina really crowded overbooked session before so thought this would be better for him

OP posts:
SnarkyBag · 10/12/2022 22:18

Itsnotaferret · 10/12/2022 22:14

DC is 3 ans he has had bad experience with older children jumping around ina really crowded overbooked session before so thought this would be better for him

To be honest a lot of 3 years would probably find that that overwhelming so I’m not sure that justifies taking up a space at a SEN session. Most trampoline parks are over crowded, poorly managed chaos. I probably wouldn’t have taken my three year old to one if they’d existed then. Soft play is probably better at this stage

coldec · 10/12/2022 22:21

So not on the pathway to anything but sometimes you think he may have SEN. I'm sorry but you are taking the absolute piss to book your child a session specifically designed to be for SEN.

Actually I'm not sorry at all. Fuck sake.

user58202018484482910ugog19293843910 · 10/12/2022 22:23

Go but be prepared to chase after him if he runs across trampolines.

My ds was jumping when a small kid no older than 3 or 4 ran and stood on his trampoline, ds was in the air and couldn't go anywhere but back down and landed on them.

Soft play definitely better at that age.

Grassisbluer · 10/12/2022 22:24

If you really think your DC may need a diagnosis then why not start pursuing that?
Don't have much patience with someone who's not investigating potential additional needs in their DC still thinking it's ok to use facilities reserved for kids with disabilities.

coldec · 10/12/2022 22:25

It's a bit like the 'but nobody was using it' when trying to justify using the disabled toilet when you shouldn't.

ChocHotolate · 10/12/2022 22:25

In some places you need evidence of SEN to be able to access these sessions. I guess you would have been told this on booking but just beware at other places

ZiriForThis1 · 10/12/2022 22:26

So the session has 60 places. Out of those are 57 taken or only 3 taken?

If it is practically empty, I see your logic. If it is full, I don't see how your child would be safer there, some SEN people might be less ready to pay attention to a small child.

Baconsprouts · 10/12/2022 22:28

YABU, it’s also not going to be less stressful for your very young DC

If anything there will be more much larger children, who are often more ‘chaotic’ in their play styles around

Id not even take a SEN 3 year old to one of these sessions

coldec · 10/12/2022 22:28

If it is practically empty, I see your logic.

No. That's like the disabled toilet example I gave upthread. Nobody should be taking the spaces designated for disabled people simply because they are not full.

Falalalalaaah · 10/12/2022 22:29

I think diagnosis can be quite a long road, so I imagine if your DC was being assessed for SEN you could go along ok.

I don't think just using the spaces because they're there is right though. But it may depend on the venue

Baconsprouts · 10/12/2022 22:30

ZiriForThis1 · 10/12/2022 22:26

So the session has 60 places. Out of those are 57 taken or only 3 taken?

If it is practically empty, I see your logic. If it is full, I don't see how your child would be safer there, some SEN people might be less ready to pay attention to a small child.

The OP clearly states 57 are booked

coldec · 10/12/2022 22:30

@Baconsprouts

It also says 'only 3 are booked'

coldec · 10/12/2022 22:31

Gone sorry, not booked 'only 3 are gone'

Nineteenton · 10/12/2022 22:32

I was going to say of course it's okay because it can take years to get a diagnosis and obviously children still need to be able to access SEN friendly activities. But not even on a pathway? Is there a reason you haven't pursued it?

If you just want a friendly session for your toddler, well you may not get that at an SEN session. Children with SEN can be very loud and unpredictable and not notice smaller children and the good thing is that other parents and carers understand that so we don't face the same criticisms as in a regular session.

WyfOfBathe · 10/12/2022 22:34

I think it's okay to go without a diagnosis, especially given how long waiting lists for some assessments can be.

But if you're not even pursuing a diagnosis and your child doesn't have a specific need for the SEN sessions, I do think YABU. Most 3 year olds would struggle with older kids in a bigger session.

Spenn · 10/12/2022 22:34

Ours doesn't tend to book up Until the actual day and the Sen sessions include teens and even older if they've been attending for a while. One of mine is 20 and allowed to attend

Our trampoline place doesn't allow under 5's - which is probably sensible.

I don't think you need a diagnosis, but we had to register with the council and a Sen social worker came out before we could attend sessions, our soft play also has Sen sessions, this might be better if you have one near you.

MammaYamada · 10/12/2022 22:35

If you believe your child has SN but no diagnosis imo it would still be acceptable to book on, however, at age 3 I would be wary due to the age range of the sessions and the unpredictability of some quite large users. I would think an off-peak general session would be better.

MyHobbyIsDogging · 10/12/2022 22:35

If everyone did this, there wouldn't be sessions for children with actual, diagnosed SN. Don't do it, @Itsnotaferret

MeJane · 10/12/2022 22:35

Businesses don't have toddler only sessions at weekends as toddlers are mostly able to take part in activities when older are at school. The session you have booked will be school aged children.

Original poster
Itsnotaferret · 10/12/2022 22:41

Apologies, I have dyslexia and dyscalcu myself. Its 60 bookable spaces with 3 gone for 9am in the morning for a SEN session. I myself am more comfortable in theese sessions and feel my DC would be too. In "normal" baby groups they have been more than shy resulting in being offered the SEN version anyway. So didn't think I was doing harm just wanted to check as they aren't actually diagnosed just suspected at this time

OP posts:
PorridgewithQuark · 10/12/2022 22:43

MeJane · 10/12/2022 22:35

Businesses don't have toddler only sessions at weekends as toddlers are mostly able to take part in activities when older are at school. The session you have booked will be school aged children.

This is true.

As well as the ethics of whether you're blocking a place for a child who definitely has relevant special needs, your 3 year old may very well find a special needs session more difficult to participate in than a mid week morning general session! There will be teenagers (i.e. people with adult sized bodies but without typical adult understanding) with special needs who's behaviour "the masses" don't tolerate at general sessions but who are better understood by parents of other children with special needs.

PorridgewithQuark · 10/12/2022 22:46

Itsnotaferret · 10/12/2022 22:41

Apologies, I have dyslexia and dyscalcu myself. Its 60 bookable spaces with 3 gone for 9am in the morning for a SEN session. I myself am more comfortable in theese sessions and feel my DC would be too. In "normal" baby groups they have been more than shy resulting in being offered the SEN version anyway. So didn't think I was doing harm just wanted to check as they aren't actually diagnosed just suspected at this time

Although as you've just clarified that only 3 spaces are booked this shouldn't be an issue - in that case go!

I read it first as 57 places booked and 3 left but you thought that it's so close to the time it's okay to take one of the remaining 3.

Geneticsbunny · 10/12/2022 22:46

Your non Sen 3 year old is at a higher risk of being injured by the older kids who actually do have Sen who are not necessarily able to regulate their emotions as well as other kids.

Also as others have said their families are more likely to be chaotic and therefore book at the last minute.

Thirdly, they are often a space where carers can emotionally support each other. What are you going to say when they all come over to welcome the "new" member and you basically have no reason to be there?