I live with my mother who is very ill. In the last few years a lot of things have gone missing from the house. One of them is an ornament of mine that I have literally since seen on my sister’s bookcase. She also took a number of our late father’s ornaments which my mother wasn’t too pleased about. Neither of us have asked for these back; seemed easier to let it go.
Today I went looking for a wooden stool that I’ve had since childhood. My mother wanted it. I said it wasn’t where I thought it was and my mother suggested I email my sister to ask (context: my mother did previously ask my sister to return some family photos which she did).
I sent a fairly balanced email asking if she’d by any chance it, and if she had, could I have it back? (I know I probably should have just asked if she’d seen it but tbh I thought she’d see that as passive aggressive). A friend has reviewed the email and said it was polite and reasonable.
Her response - “as you feel so confident in accusing me of theft, why don’t you call the police? I expect an unreserved apology from you”
I wrote back and apologised and said I wasn’t intending to accuse her of theft. In all honesty I wouldn’t have viewed it as “theft” - it was a family-owned item that she might have had and I wouldn’t have viewed it as stealing. And I’d already written off some of my other things that were in her house, as had our mother.
AIBU? What can I do to smooth it over? She, obviously, matters more to me than stuff does, and I wish I hadn’t said anything .