Long-term lurker, I have posted before but not for a while and I can't seem to get into my old account so had to make a new one.
To try and avoid drip feeding, I think this is all the relevant context:
DH started a new job a few months ago. He doesn't enjoy his profession and is looking to leave for a new profession in the medium term (probably about two years from now) but, for the first time, really likes this employer and his colleagues (which obviously makes a huge difference). DH is worried about looking flaky at work as he has missed a silly amount (but all for valid reason) - he missed two days when we were all hospitalised, then another single day because he was just really ill, he missed one day when our childminder was sick and then missed three days with Covid (he wasn't that ill but his employer requests that employees stay off for five days so he missed three work days and then the weekend). He's on a FTC for the first year (as is standard for his role) so needs to make a good impression. He did, within the first two days, take on an additional responsibility (unpaid) because the goodwill of doing so is important in his profession. Because of this, I have had to do the bulk of childcare (the day he took off for childcare was when our childminder missed nine days and I covered the other eight but I couldn't WFH on that day). My employer is a lot more understanding, my employment set-up itself is more flexible and my role is more secure. I WHF almost entirely at the moment and DH cannot WFH at all in his role. His work party isn't mandatory but social relationships do play a part in his profession and he has just applied for a (unpaid) promotion.
He doesn't go out and socialise particularly often (partially his choice and partially just the reality of having two small children). We have 2DC's, DS is 3yo and DD is almost 5mo - both have scarlet fever but neither is hugely unwell (i.e. not going to be in hospital etc). Because of the scarlet fever, I have been doing childcare all week and WFH (yes, my employer knows). I've had DD every day and DS Tuesday, Wednesday and yesterday (he's back at nursery today). Since we all had covid (about three weeks ago), I've developed a horrendous chest infection but our GP is (rightly) prioritising seeing children at the moment so I can't get an appointment to get anything for it.
DH fannied around getting his outfit sorted and, with Royal Mail strikes and pre-Christmas, it didn't arrive yesterday. That meant that last night, instead of going to my work Christmas party, I had to facilitate sorting that instead (I was 50% upset not to have a night off and 50% relieved because I'm exhausted). He didn't ask me not to go but he tends to bury his head in the sand (which is why he fannied around in the first place) so would've just got to literally getting dressed and realised he had nothing to wear and panicked. This behaviour is his biggest flaw so please don't judge him too harshly on this.
I know that if I ask him not to go to his work Christmas party then he'll stay at home but WIBU to ask this?