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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that nobody ever buys you the things you secretly want?

106 replies

FangsForTheMemory · 08/12/2022 23:26

For Christmas/birthdays. You have to ask.

Please share the things you’d like but don’t get. Reasonable things, though! Mine is a £50 bouquet with cellophane and ribbon, the works.

OP posts:
SeenAndNot · 08/12/2022 23:28

its true. But in fairness no one is a mind reader so it’s not suprising.

KrisAkabusi · 08/12/2022 23:30

If it's a secret, how are they supposed to know!

UWhatNow · 08/12/2022 23:31

YANBU but that’s why I buy my own presents and say I don’t want anything from anyone else.

Blueeyedgirl21 · 08/12/2022 23:32

Yeah true
I always end up buying stuff I really want or need. My dp is quite good he will get me things he knows I covet a little bit but I do drop hints. For example a dyson hairdryer which I would never have bought myself but wanted. And he got my a Vivienne Westwood necklace that I always secretly wanted but always said ‘people who buy expensive jewellery are daft they will just lose it!’ I’ve worn it constantly since he got it it’s been a great buy

things I always always want are Elemis makeup remover, and some nice but not expensive bottles of wine to build a little
collection, and Waterstones vouchers. I feel no one would get me makeup remover as it’s just so boring, but a bottle of wine and a book voucher I feel are so easy but yet it’s almost so obvious people don’t go For it! Also love getting pyjamas but again another thing people must consider rubbish !

Kanaloa · 08/12/2022 23:33

You have to ask! Or maybe loudly fawn over it while shopping. ‘Woooowwww how gorgeous is THAT!!! More of a treat though, the kind of thing you’d loooove for Christmas.’

Or maybe wait till the kids are asleep and hover over them whispering it in their ear repeatedly so it will be stuck in their subconscious and they’ll repeat it to another adult to buy you for Christmas.

Kanaloa · 08/12/2022 23:34

But I guess things I always want are new books and new PJs. Hard because they’re the two things I tell people not to get me as I’ve already got far too many!

familyissues12345 · 08/12/2022 23:36

Kanaloa · 08/12/2022 23:34

But I guess things I always want are new books and new PJs. Hard because they’re the two things I tell people not to get me as I’ve already got far too many!

You can never have too many pairs of Pyjamas @Kanaloa !

earsup · 08/12/2022 23:40

I tried hinting with a friend who is rich...she can be quite outspoken...she told me what i liked was crap..a designer hand bag......so each birthday and xmas i get a bin bag of lovely wrapped gifts which are dreadful....she can be quite childish....buys me kids pyjamas as she liked the design....have no children at home..now aged 35 etc.......board games etc for small children....table football....remote control jumping frogs....stuff like this...i donate the lot to local food bank....so depressing ...she wastes so much money...could have easily bought me the bag years ago....!!

Catname · 08/12/2022 23:41

I recently discovered thingstogetme.com and have made a list of exactly what I want. I always feel that many gifts are bought that are just a waste of money and, especially now, people shouldn’t waste their money. I’m more than happy to receive my normal facecream rather than another bottle of body lotion that I’ll never use.

Kanaloa · 08/12/2022 23:43

familyissues12345 · 08/12/2022 23:36

You can never have too many pairs of Pyjamas @Kanaloa !

Show quote history

Well my DH certainly can never have too many because the whole drawer is filled with mine 😂

But yes that’s my thinking. Do I have PJs? Yes… will they feel the same as brand new PJs… nooooo!

mrswarthog · 08/12/2022 23:43

Normally I'd agree but I've just had a birthday and my nephews bought me a Maleficent T-shirt I really wanted (I dressed up as her for Halloween eons ago) and my sister got me the M&S Beauty Box. I'd never have bought these for myself even though I coveted them. I think being open about what you like rather than what you want is the key.

Original poster
FangsForTheMemory · 08/12/2022 23:56

I’m single and no kids. Dropping hints to the cat won’t get me far.

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 09/12/2022 00:03

FangsForTheMemory · 08/12/2022 23:56

I’m single and no kids. Dropping hints to the cat won’t get me far.

Oh sorry! Those were maybe my own suggestions for me 😂 you could still fawn over what you want when out with friends. Or maybe for your gift to them give them all night time CDs with hypnosis on them of what you want, like Joey does to Chandler in Friends?

SweetSakura · 09/12/2022 00:06

I just buy a few bits for myself now I can afford to. But when I was broke (left abusive marriage) then thoughtless gifts used to make me feel quite fed up when there was so much I was Managing without

Japanesejazz · 09/12/2022 00:07

I want a 15.2 strawberry roan mare, I am nearly 60, for the first time in my life I saw one for sale at auction this year. ALL of my family were informed, if it’s not in my field on Christmas Day morning there will be a divorce and several changes to my will!

GriddleScone · 09/12/2022 00:40

An adult-sized space hopper. I ask every year, but I suppose they think I'm joking.

happylittletree · 09/12/2022 00:43

Correct.. you've got to ask.

Kanaloa · 09/12/2022 00:48

GriddleScone · 09/12/2022 00:40

An adult-sized space hopper. I ask every year, but I suppose they think I'm joking.

… are you joking?

We had some big space hoppers at work, I used to love bouncing round the garden on one, but then I fell off one and almost landed on the chicken, it was a nightmare. My leg was really bruised from falling on the pavement and I got all scratched up my arm.

It was a laugh up till then though.

Kanaloa · 09/12/2022 00:48

That wasn’t me being snotty by the way 😂 just I can see why your family might think it’s a joke!

LikeAStar1994 · 09/12/2022 00:49

Well if you want something you kind of have to tell people Confused

5foot5 · 09/12/2022 00:51

Japanesejazz · 09/12/2022 00:07

I want a 15.2 strawberry roan mare, I am nearly 60, for the first time in my life I saw one for sale at auction this year. ALL of my family were informed, if it’s not in my field on Christmas Day morning there will be a divorce and several changes to my will!

😆😆

Lisarinnaslipss · 09/12/2022 00:53

I absolutely agree. I just want a really good botte of tequila. I add it to my list every year, and every year I buy it for me as no one else gets it! Why?

5foot5 · 09/12/2022 00:54

earsup · 08/12/2022 23:40

I tried hinting with a friend who is rich...she can be quite outspoken...she told me what i liked was crap..a designer hand bag......so each birthday and xmas i get a bin bag of lovely wrapped gifts which are dreadful....she can be quite childish....buys me kids pyjamas as she liked the design....have no children at home..now aged 35 etc.......board games etc for small children....table football....remote control jumping frogs....stuff like this...i donate the lot to local food bank....so depressing ...she wastes so much money...could have easily bought me the bag years ago....!!

Golly. Just shows how different people are. I wouldn't cross the road for a designer bag, but I really like the sound of the gifts your friend buys you.

ADifferentKindofChristmas · 09/12/2022 00:56

All of my life I have wanted a metal detector.

I grew up wanting to be an Archaeologist.

I'm 52 and still don't have one, despite hinting year after year.

I could go out and buy it myself easily but it's the surprise I want!Xmas Grin

Luredbyapomegranate · 09/12/2022 00:57

Well if you keep it a secret… how will they know?