To suddenly not want to go

[HettySunshine]

It's my work Christmas do tomorrow night. It's the first one since 2019 and it's considered quite a big deal within the firm. We are spread over four offices and this will be the first time we have all been together post covid.

They pay for everything, transport, food, bar etc and really push the boat out to make us feel special and appreciated.

I have been really looking forward to it and booked a room at the hotel it's being held at so I can have a lovely sleep afterwards and a nice breakfast the next morning. There's a few people staying (we pay for our own rooms but the firm chips in).

I've woken up this morning and I just don't want to go. I'm not very good at drinking. I enjoy it at the time but then just feel hideous the next day. My dd's not well and I have some stuff going on with my elderly dm as well.

I know some of my colleagues will be disappointed if I bale out as were a really close team and it's a bit shit to cancel at short notice as menu choices have been picked etc. but I can cancel my room with no penalty up to 24 hours before so if I do so today I won't be out of pocket.

I just don't know...

If it’s the sort of thing you usually enjoy, just go. Nobody feels great the next day after drinking. You either drink less or put up
with the hangover!
If, like me, you hate that kind of event (in which case, don’t say you’ll go at all next time, as it’s not compulsory!) then don’t go.
Sounds like you do want to go but have last minute nerves and a temporary wish for a quiet night.

You said you won't be out of pocket, but your employer will be. If you don't want to drink, then don't. If your daughter is very unwell that its reasonable that you don't want to leave her, but of she is just recovering from a cold or minor bug and you have someone responsible at home (ie other parent) then its not such an issue. Is it just last minute social jitters?

Go and don't drink - or just have one or two. I often dont want to go to things - but once I'm there I'm glad I did.

I’d go - if only for the uninterrupted sleep in the hotel! Just stay for the dinner bit, limit your drinks and head off once the proper ‘party’ bit kicks in.

The idea of a hot bath, the opportunity to read a book in bed and then a lie in the next morning … bliss!

Go. You don’t have to drink.

This is MN, antisocial heaven, so everyone will validate you and say don’t go.

But I think you should go. You’ll feel better about yourself afterwards if you go. And the only reason you can bale is because everyone else is doing the right thing. Which is pretty shit on your part.

Unless your daughter is too unwell to leave her, I would go. It may just be a bit of anxiety about a big party when there haven’t been any for 3 years. Try and alternate an alcoholic drink with a soft drink or water throughout the evening. I think you’ll probably enjoy it once you’re there.

I bet you enjoy it once you are there. It’s hard at this time of year to feel motivated.

if a big night feels too much then cancel the hotel and get a cab home instead with the money you saved. And be strict with yourself about sticking to a couple of drinks but I’d try my best to go along as I would know I’d love to see my colleague friends and that it would be fun.

I’ve got my party tomorrow too - similar set up. I’m going to drink a couple of glasses of wine and one g and t only. Going to be hard but I’m determined not to ruin my whole weekend!

As someone who has social anxiety and has spent years avoiding things like this I say go.

Stay for a few hours, don't drink and if it gets too much say you don't feel well and go have a cosy night in the hotel room

I wouldn't go but then I don't go to anything I don't want to go to. Plus I wouldn't want to go out if my child is Ill.

You don't have to drink but you might find that the night away with no responsibility is just what you need.

I'd go. Mine's tomorrow night and I feel the same. But I know from experience, once I get dressed up and am on my way, I will enjoy it. It's important to let your hair down now and again. Hope you enjoy it.

I often don't want to go to things. I have to force myself and will use any excuse not to go. Yet once I'm there I always enjoy myself and feel glad I went.

Just don't have too many drinks so that you feel ok in the morning. And think of that lovely sleep and delicious breakfast!

Stick to soft drinks, act cheerful for the first hour and you will be fine. If you’ve paid for a hotel room you might as well use it

Agree. Sounds like nerves.
Alternate drinks with water. Have wine spritzers. Eat loads to offset alcohol.
You'll have a great time!

I hate these kind of events, but as you've committed to go, I think you should unless your daughter is too unwell to leave.

Go - but do the drink much and head off early evening to enjoy your hotel room.

I mean don't drink much

Oh op this is a bit flakey

dont be that person

"I know the hive mind of MN..."

Funny how 4 out of 5 posts above this one said "go" and the fifth said it depends.

Gosh I wish my employer would do something similar. My colleagues don’t even want to go out and the boss gives us a cheap bag of sweets . Go and enjoy the night and just limit your drinking.

Thank you ladies. I will go and really limit my drinking. I will love having a quiet hotel room to myself. I think you're right, just nerves.

My dd with be fine with her dad and my younger children are having a much anticipated sleep over with my il's so she'll have her dad to herself and will have a quiet night too. All will be well.

I would go; you don’t have to drink much

Ah, OP, you sound like me before just about every social event I plan to attend.
I'm glad you've decided to go. Keeping the alcohol to a minimum is a good idea. Since you have a room booked, take a good book with you, and if you're not enjoying yourself, bow out and head back to your room for some you time.