To be so sad about not having another baby

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I’ll be brief. We were told we couldn’t have children due to my medical issues -10 years later snd lockdown boredom I fell pregnant and gave birth to an amazing baby boy who is 20 months.

I love being a mum and am juggling working part time with raising him like I’m sure we all are.

my problem is recently I’ve been desperate for another child. I’m nearly 40 so age is against me. Also nursery fees are killing us now so wouldn’t be able to afford two kids plus we both need to work.

we also live in a small 2 bed flat with it’s own garden but definitely couldn’t fit in another child. We have no prospect of moving.

im just devastated that that’s it. I love our child dearly but feel we aren’t complete. Hubby and I have discussed and both agreed that it’s impossible to have another child but this urge is horrendous. Will I ever get over it?

so basically AIBU for feeling fed up and wish I could just have another baby without worrying about fees for nursery and be given a massive house!

I would have another. In fact, my DC2 is due next month because I felt this so strongly.

Nursery fees? DC1 will get 30 free hours for when you would go back to work after DC2 mat leave.

2 bedrooms? They can share a room.

I understand where you're coming from however you have gone from not being able to have any tk actually having one. That's amazing. There's lots of people who'd love to be able to have even one. The time from baby to adult goes really quickly. Make the most of it and don't waste time wishing otherwise. More and more people are having a single child now. Also there's no guarantee they'd get on, there's more risks as an older mother. I know lots of people who say they don't get on with their siblings.
You're lucky to have a healthy child. Try to look on the positive aspects. One of my friends would've loved to have children but couldn't for a variety of reasons but she just made the most of it.

I only have one and not entirely by choice. In the end it was the right decision for us- though I often hate to admit it.
I still have the odd day when I wished I’d have tried for another..but those days have become more bearable and I now mainly see it as a positive, for many reasons, not just financial.

Quite a few posters saying it’ll be ok because you get free childcare funding at 3, so it makes it affordable to have another- does nobody think beyond this? Children are expensive- the more you have the more it costs- and it only get more expensive the older they get.

There are some things which wouldn’t be an issue to me e.g sharing bedrooms- nothing wrong with that.
But your health should be a big factor In deciding and it sounds like you have some serious concerns there- I had some health issues that played a part in my decision.

If you have time on your side then wait a little while. But for what it’s worth, our life is pretty good with one. We have more time, energy and money to do things we all love. We’re not rich but are comfortable and can afford a few luxuries now and again. And most importantly our child is happy and content.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

I have one and have been a single mum of one for just over a decade.

I have always wanted 3 children but I live in the city, wasn’t in a great relationship and had a lot of work I had to do financially to support more children.

With that in mind I want to say that I focused on other areas in my life as well as motherhood. I feel like me and my daughter know each other. I’ve been able to focus on her and build a life with the cards I’ve been dealt with (or the choices I have made). I have grown to love my circumstances.

If you can afford to have a second and want one - go ahead - we always make things work for our children. If not, the broodiness will come and go but there is so much that you will learn to love about raising an only child.