Step sisters wedding

[HR313]

Long story short - a year and a half ago we had a holiday to Center Parcs to celebrate my dads 60th birthday. My step mum planned it but complications arose when we were all going to be staying in the same lodge with her daughters dog (my then 4 year old was and still is petrified of dogs) without her asking us if we were happy in same lodge or not she booked another which we thought because she was scared of us giving her covid. Anyway, there was a big falling out and we no longer speak. Her daughter is due to be married next year and as a family we had all been invited (myself, partner, daughter and bump at the time who would be 1.5yrs old at the time of wedding) so we’ve just received a ‘wedding reception’ invite and no longer invited to the whole day. Says they aren’t having kids at their wedding which is fine - one day when they have kids I hope someone tells them they can’t have their children attend some function. Anyway - due to not seeing my step mum/sister since said incident I’m now thinking we will politely decline? Or shall we turn up and go? I’m not expecting to make amends but if we don’t go we will look like we are just as stupid as them for falling out with us in the first place? What should I do?

Drip drip drip 😊

I honestly couldn’t care less about the no kids policy - less hassle on us as parents but as I’ve mentioned we won’t be going. We don’t plan on making amends at this joyous occasion on my step sisters behalf. No further remarks or comments needed - that goes for you esp ErinBrock, amazing how you remember a post going back a few years! How odd!

Don't go they are probably just inviting you to ve polite.

I honestly couldn’t care less about the no kids policy

And yet you’re ranting about it on mumsnet.

If you don’t want to go then don’t go, you seem overly bitter about this considering your step sister is still wanting you at her wedding.
You don’t need permission to decline but obviously that’s probably the final nail in the coffin.

I don't get why you are asking if you're not going anyway. Just to rant about her on the Internet?

You fell out over a dog.

You assumed you were invited to the day.

You are not happy about no kids, it's not your wedding.

You sound unreasonable.

If ranting on the Internet was banned, Mumsnet wouldn't exist.

I don’t understand the OP, what about the center parc situation caused the fallout and if you don’t mind about the no kids policy why are you being snarky about it?

I also don’t understand the thing about the millionaire

I don’t even understand the centre parks thing, your step mum planned a family get away for her husband (your dad). You didn’t want to stay in the same lodge as your step sisters dog so your step mum got another lodge.
Why the big fall out?
Why the drip about how your father only wanted to see you and your sister and didn’t want to spend his birthday with his wife and other daughter?
It makes no sense imo. If you wanted to do something yourself for your dads birthday you could have planned something on another date.

Not just me then?

I don't understand how this all fits together.

YABU for the extremely passive aggressive "which is fine - one day when they have kids I hope someone tells them they can’t have their children attend some function" . Just say "which I personally don't agree with," rather than pretending "it's fine" and you "honestly couldn't care less."

If you want to go to the evening do then go
If you don't want to go then don't
If you don't want to go but want to make up then send a very effusive apology with a good reason (even if completely made up) for not being able to make it, give them a card and present, send step sister a quick good luck message on the day and add a few nice comments when she puts pictures up on social media after.

I don’t understand the lodge fallout. The dog didn’t need to be there so should have could have just been left at home. they insisted on bringing the dog so separate lodges were needed. Separate lodges were secured. Drama ends.

is this your step sibling purely by marriage or a biological half sibling. If it’s a half sibling, I would be really insulted by this invite. If you are really just distant relatives anyway which is what the invite signifies, attend if it is convenient, send a card if it is not.

So don’t go. The dislike seems to be mutual. Why’s your dad still involved with this woman and her daughter after she left him for a millionaire? Are they back together or not? If not just don’t ever see them again. Far less hassle for you all.

Some of these responses 😂 thank you all for your input and suggestions. My step mother once married my father (who she left for a millionaire banker only for him to leave her for another woman!) karma is all I can say 😌

So you SM isn't with your dad any more? Or did your dad take her back? Karma.

I honestly couldn’t care less about the no kids policy - less hassle on us as parents

Nah, I don’t think so, otherwise you wouldn’t have mentioned it. You’re bothered. I would guess your DF would rather have had a separate celebration as he knew it would end in a strop and flounce,, as it always seems to.

Yes,I don't understand your father's role in this. You seem to be saying that he is no longer with SM, so why would there be joint holidays with SM and SS? Unless SS is actually half-sister?
You haven't really explained why you fell out badly enough not to be talking, or why it matters. If SS has invited you to her wedding, then surely the issue is whether or not you fell you want go or should go to her wedding? The fact that SM booked or didn't book the right room last year(?) should have no bearing on SS's wedding anyway. If you have a relationship with SS and would like to help celebrate her marriage, then go . If not, don't.

So she and your dad are no longer together?

to be honest you all sound like hard work!! If these people are no longer family members and you have no intention making up or going to the wedding then I’m not sure what’s advice you want?

^This.

I don’t understand what happened at CP but I’d like to!

Do your step sister a favour and don't go

They are reaching out - you should go

Either accept gracefully and see it as an olive branch or don't go but don't attempt any reconciliation.

I still don't get the holiday thing, you don't write very clearly.

Just read your previous thread, YABU.

You don't care about the children not invited? If that is the case, why mention it? Anyway in your shoes I wouldn't go, you'll ruin a happy occasion.

My dad was married before he met my mum and had me. He was married to the same woman he got back together with about 15 odd years ago when he and my mum split. His ex ex wife (the woman he is back with) had left him after they had been married for 6 months and she went off with a millionaire banker. Anyway, she had two children but NOT with my dad - so they aren’t related. I call her my step sister as it’s just easier 🤷🏻‍♀️ We wont be going, it’s been decided so everyone can calm down over my original post. The bit about Center Parcs was only trying to explain the back story.