DD (7) is a big dance fan. I have found a fun xmas dance show thing to take her to, but it falls on a weekend she is with her father. He has her EOW, Friday night til Sunday evening. My thing is Sunday at 4, so I asked him a month ago if I could get her back slightly early, and take her. He said yes, so I have booked tickets. It's local, and I think she'll love it.
He has just messaged to say he's mixed up the dates and has double-booked her to a birthday party. It's the niece of his newish gf, same age as our DD. She's met the birthday girl once over the summer, got on well, but not like best of friends or anything. It's also a two-hour drive away. If exH ends up long-term with his gf, this bday girl would sort of be like a cousin to my DD, which is lovely and I am more than fine about. ExH is pushing for me to drop the dance show I have booked (he says he'll reimburse my costs) so our DD can hang out with bday girl.
I say, I booked first, and she will love the show, she should come to the show, and she can see bday girl another time. Also, how much will she even get to have quality time with birthday girl if it's a party and there are other girls there, especially who are actual friends with birthday girl (as opposed to my dd who though they got on well that one time, she doesn't really know and seems like exH is trying to push a friendship).
One other factor is our other child who is a few years older (and a boy) has NOT been invited to the party, whereas I have obviously got him a ticket to the show, and whilst dance isn't his big passion, he loves xmas and I really think he will enjoy the show.
I have asked DD and told her it's up to her, explained that I have booked tickets though and the former commitment should stand (imho). She doesn't know what to say/do.
YABU - it is exH's weekend, DD should go to the party
YANBU - you asked first, he agreed to drop them home early so we could go to the show
Thanks!
I have to go out now, but will be back around 9 to respond!