To have taken DS into school late as couldn’t be arsed to sit in traffic?

[FrostyFreda]

Whole town was gridlocked this morning due to knock on from a bad crash on a nearby motorway which was closed. DS (12) and I were sat in standstill traffic in the road next to ours from 8.10-8.30. He needs to be at school for 8.45. I could see that we weren’t going anywhere and DS would be extremely late anyway (further 15 min drive to school in normal traffic).

So I turned around and went back home. Told school DS had an appointment and I’d take him in for Period 2 at 10.00am. Motorway was cleared at 8.45 but traffic was still heavy although moving at least at 9.30 so I think I was right to turn around rather than sit emitting fumes for an hour.

DH does not agree and thinks I should have waited in the traffic or made DS walk - 40 min walk, he’d still have been late and he is getting over that horrible monster cold virus that’s going round.

So was I BU?

Sounds like common sense to me

Ofncourse you’re being unreasonable. There was bad traffic at rush hour… are you aware the pope is Catholic?
I see no issue with a secondary aged child walking 40 minutes with a proper coat.

Your responsibility is to get your child to school on time, so of course you should have walked. It's not even very far!

I would have suggested walking when seeing the traffic situation at 8ish tbh...

Well if I flipped it and my husband told me “couldn’t be arsed” to deal with a bit of traffic so went home for a while rather than taking DC to school I would be annoyed.

Your child should have walked, with you.

Why not walk every day?

40 min walk in appropriate clothing is fine for a secondary school age. I wouldn't drive my kids that distance, any day.

Setting a terrible example for a child who's at a very impressionable age.

The last thing I'd do is put the idea in a (soon to be) teen's head that lying and avoiding life's commitments is fine.

YANBU for taking him in late but YABU for lying about the reason and YAB further U if you did so in your son's hearing. A traffic accident is a force majeure circumstance and quite sufficient excuse.

A 40 minute walk / 15+ minute drive is a strange ratio.

My DC’s walk to school and back every day and it’s a 40 minute walk. If I were to drive them it’s only 5 minutes. But I don’t.

I wouldn’t be sat battling traffic, no, but I would be starting the DC off with walking to school each day to make sure things like this don’t happen.

At 12 I would have booted him out the car and told him to walk the rest of the way.

Whole town was gridlocked this morning due to knock on from a bad crash on a nearby motorway which was closed

Ofncourse you’re being unreasonable. There was bad traffic at rush hour… are you aware the pope is Catholic

sigh

MN comprehension skills at their finest once more I see.

I don’t think you were BU, OP. There is bad traffic and then there is not - moving traffic. Apart from anything else, if more people had been a bit pragmatic about it, it actually helps clear the roads for people who DO have to get to wherever they are going in an emergency.

YABU

And to be honest it is probably less disruptive for the teachers to have someone come in at the start of a lesson than halfway through another. I would far rather this. I personally used to hate it when HOYs and pastoral staff would have students out writing statements or sorting out an incident that had happened at break or lunch and then would send them back twenty minutes into the lesson - so disruptive.

The only unreasonable bit was lying to school about an appointment.
Just say the M1 closure resulted in him being late. He won't be the only one.

YABU for lying about it. I’m sure you weren’t the only one stuck in traffic trying to get your child to school. I’d have told him to walk

You shouldn’t have lied, and by doing so really you have played into your DH hands by knowing your approach was wrong.

im sure lots of staff and students where late as a result so you should have just got him in as soon as you could. Ideally on foot!

Irrelevant of what you H thinks as he wasn't there, you made a decision and what's done is done. move on. On a side note though,
If school starts at 8:45, your son just needs to leave 10mins earlier than you already left this morning, so no need to be drive.

If you have to leave before 810 anyway, he has to be there by 845 and it's a 40 minute walk, why doesn't he just walk all the time? He's not gaining any time by being in the car (unless of course, the weather is atrocious to walk in).

If you're a 40 minute walk from school, he should just cycle. It'd only take him 15-20 minutes.

I don't think you were being unreasonable to turn around but I do think you were unreasonable for lying. Why can't people just tell the truth ffs? If you were actually a responsible adult, you'd be able to have a sensible discussion with another adult as to why your child was late for school, instead of acting like some deceitful teenager.

Hi OP, I was caught in similar circumstances this morning. Was it H? Honestly don't blame you. Likelihood is that you only got him in slightly later than you would've had you sat it out. I was taking my son to College 30 miles away, country roads and there are no feasible public transport options, we didn't have any alternative other than to sit it out otherwise he wouldn't have made it until lunchtime.

Really? Walking 40 mins is not that far? Also wouldn’t he still be late anyway?

Should have just told the truth 🤷‍♀️

I would expect him to walk to school as a matter of routine, unless the weather was very bad.