To have taken DS into school late as couldn’t be arsed to sit in traffic?

[FrostyFreda]

Whole town was gridlocked this morning due to knock on from a bad crash on a nearby motorway which was closed. DS (12) and I were sat in standstill traffic in the road next to ours from 8.10-8.30. He needs to be at school for 8.45. I could see that we weren’t going anywhere and DS would be extremely late anyway (further 15 min drive to school in normal traffic).

So I turned around and went back home. Told school DS had an appointment and I’d take him in for Period 2 at 10.00am. Motorway was cleared at 8.45 but traffic was still heavy although moving at least at 9.30 so I think I was right to turn around rather than sit emitting fumes for an hour.

DH does not agree and thinks I should have waited in the traffic or made DS walk - 40 min walk, he’d still have been late and he is getting over that horrible monster cold virus that’s going round.

So was I BU?

This. Like fuck would half the people on here willingly be walking 40 minutes twice a day if they had a car sat there. Anything more than 25 mins and my dc get a lift

Surely, if the school know about your sons medical condition, you could have told them he was not able to do the 40 minute walk due to his health. Explain about the traffic and drop him later.

Why the need to lie ?

This^

Seriously, not sure why everyone is having a panic, you could have stayed sitting stationary in traffic for a long time, or do what you did.

Your dc made it to school, missed one period (which they would have pretty much missed if you stayed in the traffic).

Others will have sat in the queue and told the school about the crash. It won't look good if school figure out you lied. They might ask for evidence of the appointment; then you are stuck

YABU
You should leave earlier if there is traffic. My DH encounters heavy traffic on the school run and leaves 20min early because of it.

You do know, if they are late that affects their attendance? If you’re late in morning, you lose credit for attendance for the entire morning session.

Hopefully your husband won't put up with you for much longer if you're so controlling that he isn't allowed to make parenting decisions for his ill children without you being a dick about it

Your husband could have come home and drove him.

No I wouldn't further bung up traffic and no I wouldn't make my poorly child walk 40 minutes in the cold.

And no, I wouldn't send him down mine or up mill, or anything else just because MN claims that they would.

You do know, if they are late that affects their attendance? If you’re late in morning, you lose credit for attendance for the entire morning session

Oh the entire morning session the HORROR 😱

I guess from the perspective of someone who has a DD who really struggles with school and misses a lot (long story, hopefully getting her the right help now) so attendance is well below what it should be and we have been threatened with fines on several occasions, someone choosing to have an easier morning rather than a horrible stressed one stuck in traffic as a one off seems pretty minor.

Did you miss school often yourself?

That’s my perspective too. My DD is at less than 50% attendance. So to make this worse because of failing to plan for traffic is silly to me.

You then go on to say your own DD is at 50% attendance so I'm not sure you're right to be preaching

Plus, when your child is missing so much, you’re under a microscope from the school. Every hour missed has to be accounted for.

Threads like this always end up full of posters saying how nobody should ever miss school or be late to school ever in a million years even if your house is on fire 😂

Meanwhile in the real world, there's nothing wrong with being an hour late to school when the traffic is bad, lol.

What on Earth do you mean? I can preach all I want about missing school due to lack of parental planning and responsibility.

My DD is below 50% because of factors outside our control- she’s really unwell.

@Onnabugeisha You don’t need to preach to me so save it thanks. We normally leave at 8.10 as I said to get to school a 10 (on a good day) - 15 min drive away for 8.45 meaning DS is always around 20 mins early so I already plan for traffic which is heavier from 8.20 onwards . This is his first ever late.

Don’t normally plan for a major accident closing the whole the motorway just outside town though, if I did we’d leave 2 hours early every day and have to sit outside school for that time 🤫.

You do know, if they are late that affects their attendance? If you’re late in morning, you lose credit for attendance for the entire morning session

Credit? So what? Honestly, schools are forced to make a massive fuss about even minor dips in attendance, but that doesn't mean parents have to follow suit. Isolated absences or lates for reasonably justifiable reasons are absolutely insignificant.

As a teacher I'd say that the whole thing about coming in late disrupting the class is hugely exaggerated too. It's absolutely commonplace for kids to turn up half-way through a lesson anyway, due to scheduled things like music tuition or a medical appointment.

Prolonged or very regular absence can of course affect progress and grades, as is the attitude if parents who take their kids out of school for stupid reasons, but that kind of absence is usually a symptom rather than a root cause, and the lack of achievement is unfortunately often really due to a chaotic home life, or the absence caused by ongoing health or MH problems.

You've already decided it's not unreasonable and you've taught your child that blatantly lying to get out of things you find difficult or annoying is fine.

So what exactly is your point?

You posted in AIBU, and I’m saying, yes YABU.
If you don’t want people voting or saying YABU, don’t post in AIBU.
Ciao

Personally I think this is a terrible example to set. Just give up, fuck off home and lie as you can’t be arsed.

id have waited,or called the school and explained bad accident and you can’t get in so he will be late due to traffic, you can still go home and wait it out.

Exactly this. What a Shitty example of adulting to show to your son. I'm not surprised your husband was annoyed - I would've been too.

Wow all these perfect parents!
YANBU OP.
Wasn't your fault, or his fault. Shit happens.

Was it the M11? It was exceptionally bad today due to the closure. I don't think it's an issue as a one-off.

They didn't lie to get out of anything. The not getting to school on time was unavoidable and would have happened whether or not they lied.

I agree the lie was silly, it would have been better to just say they would be late due to traffic.

@Onnabugeisha

Actually, there is a small majority in favour of the OPs actions.

Posting in AIBU does not mean you have to agree with every single post, which is good, as some are insane.

AIBU to think 40 minutes is a long walk to school/work?😅