To think this is a weird response to not giving someone a job

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

Had a Teams interview last week after being head hunted. I wasn’t looking for a job, I’m happily SE but I think it’s always good to keep a beady eye out for opportunities. So I agreed to an interview on the basis I would be absolutely if I didn’t get it and if nothing else it’s always good to have interview experience.

I’ve done some bad interviews in my life and some excellent interviews - this was definitely the latter. I was confident and showed my competency well, gave good answers and I could tell they were impressed with my range of experience. They mentioned how they’d been looking for someone for 2 months but just couldn’t find anyone who’d be the ‘ideal fit’ but were ‘excited’ about me.

I took some time and decided if I was offered the job I’d turn it down. I’m happy as I am and whilst the role was well paid it just didn’t excite me.

The Headhunter rang back today to say thank you for attending the interview, the panel were really impressed with my expertise and experience and said I came across well but they “didn’t see much of a personality” and therefore had no chemistry with me and they think it’s important in their workplace to have a team that will really ‘mesh well together’.

I mean, No skin off my nose, it saved me turning them down I suppose but AIBU to find that a weird reason not to recruit someone? Also, I do have a personality but I’m not going to crack jokes and talk about my personal opinions in a professional interview. It seems like they wanted a new mate in the office and I didn’t fit the bill 🤷‍♀️ has anyone else encountered this?

Well, maybe if they search for another 2 months they will find the perfect person for them. Maybe....

I worked for a small firm a few years ago who would take for granted that the interviewee had the right experience from their CV, but would interview to see if they would be a good 'fit'. They felt that as the firm was so small (under 20 people) it was more important than it otherwise might be that everyone would be able to get along well.

They were upfront about this though and the interview was purposefully informal without real competency questions to create a atmosphere encouraging of seeing someone's personality.

You dodged a bullet. I worked somewhere that put an unreasonable emphasis on "personality" and I knew of people being sacked or not passing their probation for spurious reasons like 'not being collaborative enough'. They'd always be paid off and NDA'd. So now when I hear stuff like this it's a huge red flag and makes me think they'd be absolute twats to work for. So yes, very weird, and it's definitely them not you!

Oof, pretty harsh feedback tbh. The recruiter could have toned it down a bit!

I think it’s badly worded but can see their point. Especially in small teams you want a good fit.

They also said they were “looking for someone who could sparkle”. I’m sitting here wondering if they’d expect men to be sparkly or is it just women?

It’s actually the largest local employer 🤣🤣 the team has about 15 people in it IIRC

Interestingly, as I was reading your post, I was thinking, "she comes across as very bland, albeit knowledgeable" so it's not actually that surprising to me.

And I think "fit" is quite an important element. There is some research that "fit" is over emphasised and leads to less diversity in both absolute terms and in terms of approach/personality, but with a small business in particular, it's important.

I run a small business and regularly hire freelancers. As a rule, I can see how competent someone is from the information that I have been sent in advance - at least in terms of specific skills. What I'm looking for at interview is that they understand my business model and can adapt to it, will have a similar approach to client management as I do and can accommodate the specific needs that arise because of the way I work. For example, a lot of my client work is short notice and there's a fair amount of winging it because my clients have this almost magical thinking approach where they think I can just make it happen. Some of the freelancers I talk to are very comfortable with that. Others aren't.

I wonder if there was a preferred candidate and they interviewed you and maybe a couple of others, so they could say it was a competitive process.

nterestingly, as I was reading your post, I was thinking, "she comes across as very bland, albeit knowledgeable" so it's not actually that surprising to me.

RUDE!!

Get me on a CF thread or a thread about funny birth stories and I’ll have your sides splitting

Maybe the real reason was that they felt you didn't really want the role - who knows? You didn't want it, so why give it headspace.
I find online interviews a lot harder to assess people/personality than face to face, from both sides of interviewing.
Also a good fit personality wise can be important for the role/team/organisation, and that doesn't have to mean TMI about your ingrown toenail or social life.

I don’t think it’s a weird reason at all. The reality is most of the time everyone who is invited to an interview is qualified and capable of doing the job, beyond that the next biggest thing is how they would fit into the team and company culture.

Same when I applied for a retail job. The team was 7-8 people, managers included. Spoke on the phone first with the manager first, then invited me for an interview, try-out on the floor and then hired. Was there for two years. We all got along and was awarded for being the best in our region despite being a relatively small store.

I had one recently where they really liked me and were impressed with my experience. They turned me down because I'd mentioned I hadn't been actively job hunting at the time and this showed I lacked enthusiasm. I couldn't have been more enthusiastic unless I'd jumped up and down in my chair and screamed with joy!

Methinks they realised my age and are looking for bright young things, but can't say that. Their loss!

Yeah you’re no Su Pollard yourself mate.

That was harsh feedback , so I think if I was you I’d be considering why you felt it was excellent and were a shoo in and they had a very different opinion. You were all thinking you had it and would reject it, they were all no chance.

id focus on how you misread it so badly to be honest, for me, I think irs more important than trying to fathom if it’s weird or not,

basically all they are saying is you appeared quite introverted, they didn’t take to you and you wouldn’t fit in.,which is fine you can’t win ‘em all. The issue is you thought otherwise and quite drastically so

Personally I think personality is VERY important when hiring someone. You can have all the knowledge in the world but if you don’t have that likability factor and a good , open personality then you won’t be a good fit in my team. Same would go for a man or woman.

🤣 I was thinking the same myself!

I think @Mabelface has called it right. Comments about personality /sparkle and whether you are a good fit with the wider team are usually code for "you're too old for our thrusting corporate image"!

Well they asked for my 3 main strengths and 3 main weaknesses (🙄). I sad my 3 main strengths are I have a strategic mindset, I’m a very fast learner and I’m thick skinned.

Maybe because of the last one they felt they could be frank 😂

My weaknesses were being out of the industry to be SE for a while, that I can be a bit of a ‘yes’ woman and that for this role is not worked in a workplace of that magnitude. Maybe I should have given a girly giggle and said chocolate 😂

I also thought 'bland' even before I got to the feedback bit. I don't mean that in a rude way. I've was told by my managers manager once that I seemed ambivalent to my job when I actually loved and enjoyed it. Its just that when im being professional I come across a bit bland. I just can't quite do talking in depth about a specialism and something else (e.g. interesting or funny) It has nearly cost me jobs so I make a real effort to pepper in 'personality' in less formal moments of interviews now.

What would you rather they say? You're face didn't fit? Because that's what they've politely tried to say.

You can just tell when you interview some people that even though they are a good candidate they will not fit well with the other members of staff already there.

Yes! I always say the same about ‘no mr enough enthusiasm’ - it’s code for ‘too old’.

Im not spring chicken but I’m not nearing retirement - I expect they were maybe looking for a bouncy 30yo to do shots on works nights out 🤣

@RichardsGear @PuppyMonkey I am not English and even when I looked Su up, I am confused. But assume it's an insult!?

I can take it. But i stand by my original point - actual skills is only part of the job description. A bit part is whether they will fit within a particular work environment.

Yes I can relate to this. I don’t do ‘fluffy’ talk in my role and I don’t skirt and simper round the issue. I get to the point of what I mean and I know this can come across as a little abrupt (though again no one minds when a man gets to the point).