To think this is a weird response to not giving someone a job

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

Had a Teams interview last week after being head hunted. I wasn’t looking for a job, I’m happily SE but I think it’s always good to keep a beady eye out for opportunities. So I agreed to an interview on the basis I would be absolutely if I didn’t get it and if nothing else it’s always good to have interview experience.

I’ve done some bad interviews in my life and some excellent interviews - this was definitely the latter. I was confident and showed my competency well, gave good answers and I could tell they were impressed with my range of experience. They mentioned how they’d been looking for someone for 2 months but just couldn’t find anyone who’d be the ‘ideal fit’ but were ‘excited’ about me.

I took some time and decided if I was offered the job I’d turn it down. I’m happy as I am and whilst the role was well paid it just didn’t excite me.

The Headhunter rang back today to say thank you for attending the interview, the panel were really impressed with my expertise and experience and said I came across well but they “didn’t see much of a personality” and therefore had no chemistry with me and they think it’s important in their workplace to have a team that will really ‘mesh well together’.

I mean, No skin off my nose, it saved me turning them down I suppose but AIBU to find that a weird reason not to recruit someone? Also, I do have a personality but I’m not going to crack jokes and talk about my personal opinions in a professional interview. It seems like they wanted a new mate in the office and I didn’t fit the bill 🤷‍♀️ has anyone else encountered this?

The feedback is harsh. I wouldn't want to work for them. 'Not a good fit for the team' was all they had to say.

Why is it rude to say they didn’t seem much of a personality? Is it better for them to have made up feedback instead?

Its a massive challenge. Hiring on "fit" absolutely runs the risk of people who are all the same and that means in appearance, culture, sex, thought etc. Removes diversity and potentially stifles innovation, creativity and change.

But... ignoring "fit" can lead to exactly what you're describing.

I have no idea what the answer is. I don't know if this is something HR people are thinking about.

@PuppyMonkey 🤣🤣🤣 PMSL (almost literally - damn my menopausal bladder!)

Think they are being ridiculously picky, that was obvious when they said they had found noone in 2 months. Think you dodged a bullet

Sorry Alan Sugar

It can be dificult if a person has a quiet personality, will they not get any job?

I remember as a young graduate I had x experience, good grades but really struggled to get any job. College people in my cohort got great jobs despite less experience and qualifications.

Nobody ever said anything about try to be more jolly. I eventually got general office work where most people had no special qualifications. Then once i got experience I could talk about this, was excited about having A JOB and the quietness didnt seem aa much of a barrier as I knew my stuff.

Why is it rude to say they didn’t seem much of a personality?

Because it's a rude thing to say! Bloody hell.

It’s rude and unprofessional. Whether you hire someone or not, you don’t need to be an arsehole because people remember that. In a small industry word gets around that a company or person is difficult.

Op, I'm currently in a new role where historically people were hired for fit/personality /agreeableness over skill or competence. A merger changed the hiring criteria only this year. To be honest, It's not great if you aren't just like them so I say bullet dodged.

Baffled how you can say she came across as bland in the interview from her OP now.

Don’t go looking for work in The Netherlands because ‘fitting in’ in the existing team is very important, dare I say the most important quality that recruiters look for in candidates.

I remember the pregnant pauze after the man interviewing me stopped telling me about the good relationship he had with his Ex and how he still had frequent contact with his kids post divorce. He obviously was expecting me to reciprocate his candour but I just wriggled uncomfortably in my char. The feedback I got back from the recruitment agency was to show more ‘personality’. Twenty years later and I am still cringing from that awkward encounter.

I was once told I was too enthusiastic about my current employer… I loved my job and as we were merging with the organisation I was interviewing for within the year i I still can’t fathom why that’sa bad thing. I think I dodged a bullet though.

Oh god.

Tits & teeth OP.
You didn't give them enough tits & teeth.

What was the male/female spread of your interview panel?
Because I suspect you are right - "sparkle", applied to women, usually means "giving the men lots of positive attention & feedback, being compliant, not making a fuss, & being conventionally attractive."

It was rude, but it sounds as though both sides accurately assessed that you weren’t a good match. There’s no point being offended given that you came to the same conclusion.

This can be a red flag for unconscious bias/affinity bias. ‘They just won’t fit with the team’ ie ‘they’re not like us’. We used to recruit for ‘good fit’ until we realised a lot of us thought good fit meant ‘like us’. Not saying it’s the case here but with feedback like that I’d stay away for a long time!

That's very harsh feedback.

I would try to ignore it and move on.

They are probably not great to work for if they put so much emphasis on a 'sparkling' personality, which they are judging in the short space of an interview.

Also this. Probably some recruitment bias going on here and it really doesn't reflect very well on them as an employer! You've probably dodged a bullet.

‘We didn’t see much of a personality’ is SO RUDE! That’s not the same as saying ‘we didn’t feel your personality would be a good fit with our team’, which would be one thing, it’s saying ‘we didn’t really feel you had one.’ Think whoever decided that feedback was ok is the one who needs to examine their personality! You sound ace OP, and they sound like a bullet dodged for sure (they are looking for someone that sparkles, urghhhhh!!🤮🤮)

It's a tricky one.

I have an aversion to interviewees who give perfectly prepared answers and are clearly within their comfort zone throughout, so I'd have marked you down, but also marked myself down for a failed interview, because I like to ask questions that force people to think on the spot so I can see their minds working, and see whether they're really interested in the mechanics of the job. (Being well-prepared is obviously a good thing, but I want to see live thought as well).

But "not a good fit" can be code, conscious or unconscious, for "too female, too ugly, too old/young, too Muslim, too Christian, wrong class, too introverted, too autistic".

FWIW I’m not offended by the whole ‘no personality’ thing, I mean it when I say I’m thick skinned and it hasn’t upset me (neither has @GerbilsForever24 and think you have inadvertently taken a bit of flack on my behalf 😂)

I do understand needing to fit in with the team but how can you really tell from a Teams call? Surely anyone is just taking a punt on any given candidate and it could turn out they’re good at masking and they’re actually a horrible person. I’m not shy whatsoever and it makes me feel bad for people who are or who aren’t one of the ‘sparklers’

I think it is overly candid feedback and completely unnecessary.

Anyway no love lost but I did wanna get opinions on this as it’s a bit foreign to me - I was in a job I ended up hating for aaaaaages before going SE and can’t even remember the last time I did an interview! I know the workplace has massively moved on, and wondered if this is what we now have to keep up with - not just being good for the job professionally but also being ‘sparkly’

It's not you it's them OP! Bollocks to them.