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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Drowning in debt

167 replies

movesyouveneverseen · 05/12/2022 16:10

I’m certain AIBU isn’t the right place but I’m hoping to get some real help.

Between my partner and I we have around £100k of debt, equates to around £2,000 a month in repayments each month and does NOT include our mortgage.

We cannot add this to our mortgage and wipe the slate clean so to speak because we have help to buy and so adding extra to the mortgage isn’t allowed.

The debt isn’t being added to, we are paying the required amount for loans and any credit cards are being paid the minimum payment - we are just keeping our heads above water.

I feel like I’m drowning, nobody knows any of this except for my partner and I. I just don’t know what to do and am really hoping for some practical advice.

OP posts:
Thatsasmashingblouseyouvegoton · 05/12/2022 16:12

Contact CAP or stepchange?

Flurbegurb · 05/12/2022 16:14

Contact
Citizens advice bureau
Stepchange
CAP

What are your earnings? Do you have all the info like what % interest you are paying on each loan?

whirlyhead · 05/12/2022 16:14

I had a friend a number of years ago with a similar amount of debt, and he ended up with an IVA through I think payplan?? He ended up paying £500 a month for 5 years and now is fine credit-wise and kept his house. The worse thing to do is put your head in the sand and ignore it, as it won't get any better I'm afraid.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 05/12/2022 16:15

Yes, get professional advice on what your options are. There are lots of people in this situation. The advisers won't judge!

JudithHarper · 05/12/2022 16:16

You really are going to be ruthless with yourselves and cut spending on crap. Get rid of any subscriptions, get rid of the PCP cars and buy a cheap car outright. You will have to have a few bleak Christmasses and just basic food.

Try to overpay on the debt that has the highest interest rate and, when that is paid off, use the money you don't have to pay any more to overpay the next highest interest rate debt.

You should put up a little more info though about your spending.

ApocalypseNowt · 05/12/2022 16:16

You need specialist advice from somewhere like CAP or stepchange. You can prepare by gathering details of the debts and your household expenses.

Have you addressed whatever it is that caused the debt in the first place?

Orangesandlemons77 · 05/12/2022 16:17

I recommend Payplan, really helpful and non judgemental. You can get interest frozen and just pay back what you can after a budget it really helps

Original poster
movesyouveneverseen · 05/12/2022 16:17

From the outside you’d never know and I feel so embarrassed. Thank you all so much.

I have a spreadsheet with all of the amounts, end dates, interest rates etc.

I just don’t want to jeopardise our home / mortgage.

OP posts:
SamphiretheTervosaurReturneth · 05/12/2022 16:18

Stop looking at it and letting it drown you. Go to StepChange or similar and let them help you find your first step in dealing with it!

Nobody here can help you any more than that! Go and find some proper support and start getting this back under your control.

Best of luck!

Pearls1234 · 05/12/2022 16:19

Please get in touch with Citizens Advice, they’ll do an assessment of your debt, income and outgoings and be able to give you a fair view of all your options with absolutely no pressure (they’re not allowed to try and sway you one way or another).

Some providers will of course try to get you to opt for their ‘product’ so to speak whereas CAB are impartial and will be a great help.

SamphiretheTervosaurReturneth · 05/12/2022 16:19

I just don’t want to jeopardise our home / mortgage. Then deal with it now before your situation slips one more step under!

StrawberryWater · 05/12/2022 16:19

You really need to contact CAP or stepchange.

MarshaBradyo · 05/12/2022 16:20

Agree with pp re who to contact

I’m not surprised you feel as you do it must be hard but reach out for help

SlashBeef · 05/12/2022 16:21

Please seek out some help. That must be absolutely overwhelming to be worrying about constantly.

Flurbegurb · 05/12/2022 16:23

Make contact today OP while you have the momentum. If you have all the information to hand that will be a great help.

The people on the phone will have dealt with everything loads and loads of times before and will be non judgemental.

marmitegirl01 · 05/12/2022 16:24

Use money saving expert website as there’ll be loads of help advice and lived experience on there.
you can do this x

ConsuelaHammock · 05/12/2022 16:26

Contact someone today. It will be ok!

saltinesandcoffeecups · 05/12/2022 16:29

Sadly there aren’t usually any magic pills for this. I’ve been there and there really isn’t too much to do but decide to tackle it, make a plan, and do the slog to pay out.

I have a website for a money forum that has a group who supports each other with debt repayment that I’ve been a member of. They are a woman centric group, with a US focus, but open to all.

google Women in red racers it’s a sub forum on the Your Money and More pro boards site. Even if you don’t join, give it a read to see how people are managing through their debt.

socialgoat · 05/12/2022 16:30

Op if you can afford ( even just) the repayments then keep doing what you're doing and do the best you can at cutting down any other expenses/ increase earnings

A lot of advice here is to go to step change but really that's only good if you have no way of repaying debt and you're in desperate situation. They would try and renegotiate your debt with your lenders and start a debt repayment plan which may lower your repayments but will completely screw your credit rating for years after you've paid it all off.

I was in a similar situation ( not as high) but I'm single so relative.

It took me 8 years to clear and I ended up with terrible credit rating. It took another 2 years for my credit rating to go back up. During that time I couldn't get any credit, no mortgage, no credit card, phone etc. it was dire and I wish I had somehow found a way to just keep the repayments going as I would have been better off in the long run

ChiefAdjusterOfRubensShorts · 05/12/2022 16:30

We were in a very similar position this time last year and are now on a plan with StepChange.

I can’t recommend them highly enough, they’ve been brilliant with us and our debt has come down considerably and continues to do so.

elm26 · 05/12/2022 16:31

Stepchange seriously saved my life. I was so depressed being in debt. They combined my debts into one payment which was affordable.

ADifferentKindofChristmas · 05/12/2022 16:32

Stepchange literally saved my life.

The shame of it took me too a very dark place.

Face up to it OP.

The relief will be unbelievable.

I've been debt free for over 10 years, have savings and will take early retirement in 2 yrs at 55.

I completely turned my life around and you CAN too.

Good Luck Flowers

Twopeasinthesamepod · 05/12/2022 16:37

Admitting there’s a problem is a good start. Good advice already on here but don’t delay contact these organisations. I wish you well
💐

newnamequickly · 05/12/2022 16:38

I did the CAP course as part of my training recently. So I can understand and direct people to it.

It was really good. Solid principles and sensible ways to work things out. This could make a real difference to your budgeting.

ScrappyCats · 05/12/2022 16:38

Regarding step change/IVA, if someone does this but is on a fixed rate mortgage, what happens if the mortgage fix comes to an end during the IVA agreement time? Does it mean having to stay with existing lender on variable rate as no other options, or not?