Drowning in debt

[movesyouveneverseen]

I’m certain AIBU isn’t the right place but I’m hoping to get some real help.

Between my partner and I we have around £100k of debt, equates to around £2,000 a month in repayments each month and does NOT include our mortgage.

We cannot add this to our mortgage and wipe the slate clean so to speak because we have help to buy and so adding extra to the mortgage isn’t allowed.

The debt isn’t being added to, we are paying the required amount for loans and any credit cards are being paid the minimum payment - we are just keeping our heads above water.

I feel like I’m drowning, nobody knows any of this except for my partner and I. I just don’t know what to do and am really hoping for some practical advice.

Of course you can share an opinion but stating something with absolute certainty, without having nearly enough facts to back it up, is more than a little foolish. The very fact that the OP is able to meet all her payments means that bankruptcy is factually and definitely NOT the only option. Paying it off over a long time is absolutely known to be possible.

I agree, it's a fair question if one is asking for advice.

100k is an astonishing amount of debt

Is any of it car debt? Could you hand the car back if so?

or is it credit cards etc?

She isn’t though, is she. She’s back in debt again with a car on finance 🙈🙈

£200k is a lot of cars/shopping/holidays though. Even two really fancy cars, a holiday and a new wardrobe would barely get you to £100k?

Sorry OP I reread and see it’s £100k. Still - how!?

Write to all of your creditors with a payment plan and ask them to stop all interest and charges. I think there's a template letter on the money supermarket website.

I did this and was debt free in about six years.

Sell your home and clear your debt.

If you can meet all your repayments then you won’t qualify for bankruptcy or a DMP, my wife had some issues with debt before we were married when she was a mature student and she wasn’t allowed to have a DMP because her wages covered her outgoings (only just, leaving her barely anything for food ), she was told you only qualify for a DMP if your total outgoings are more than your take home.

If this applies to OP then she needs to pay the debt off gradually and cut down on her outgoings any way she can. Pay off the highest interest first.

Go and get free advice from Citizens Advice, Stepchange or Christians Against Poverty. All three of those agencies will be able to talk you through your options and the pluses and minuses of those. There are ways out of this that do not involve losing your home! Paid for debt advise is not advisable. This is one of those situations where it definitely makes sense to wait for free advise!

Well done on calling step change op. Once you have a plan you'll feel much better. Have you found any online resources? He's not for everyone but I lived by Dave Ramsey when I was paying off debt. Became super frugal and threw every penny at debt.

@Spliffle bloody awful advice!! Op please ignore such stupid advice.

The only time I didn't pay my credit card In full it cost me £10
I decided there and then that that tenner could have gone towards the overall payment.
I never use credit cards now - the interest is beyond unreal.
So the question is very relevant.
Spending beyond your mean or shopping addiction?
Holidays on credit?
So if the debt was gone , the underlying issues remain and the debit will mount.
This happened to a relative- 3 times.

Visit the debt free wannabe page of the money saving expert forums. They’re pretty brutal, but if you really want to tackle this they’ll give you excellent advice and strategies.

Look at the diaries on money saving expert, you're not there first with a huge debt.

Have you wrote every single thing you spend money on ? You'd be surprised how quickly little things add up. Short term is there anything you can sell to pay towards a debt, even an extra £5 makes all the difference.

The reason for the debt is very relevant.

Otherwise it will accrue again. The core underlying issues or reasons for the debt, need to be addressed.

I say this with no judgement.

could be loans for an education ie a second degree or professional qualification which will hopefully pay back in increased earnings which should help get debt down faster, IVF, borrowing during covid lockdowns as self employed but not for long enough to get government help, borrowing money to try and keep business going. it doesn't of necessity mean it was all or even partly reckless spending but obviuosly a degree of too much borrowing for income but hindsight is a wonderful thing. Sometimes it is lifestyle creep or thinking I'm a qualified teacher, accountant, or whatever I should be able to do X Y Z when in fact they couldn't

How the heck can it be possible to run up such a phenomenal debt?
( Aside from mortgage)

Why do banks lend so much money if people can’t repay?
Genuinely interested in how it can happen.

Also, being bankrupt , doesn’t that enable one to just walk away from debts?

I have been very poor in the past, but lived frugally ( No fun) .

I was trying to work how this could possibly be a thing.
she got a lovely new car on finance a few weeks ago
and is now debt free.

That is dreadful advice.
@movesyouveneverseen Keep your home . If you sell it, you’ll likely never get another ( Unless you get an inheritance ).

Yeah could be.

Pretty easy to clarify by asking isn’t it?

2 cars could easily get you to £100k.

I’m glad it wasn’t just me. I thought I was missing something 😂🙈 clearly that person hasn’t learned anything!

*she got a lovely new car on finance a few weeks ago

and is now debt free.*

Now that makes ZERO sense at all…..
She’s racking up debt yet again.

I think this is a major - and common - problem.

The perception of what is debt and what isn’t is quite skewed in a lot of people’s minds. It easy to see how it builds up to owing A LOT to various things, over time