Manager behaviour is weird?

[allstilltoplayfor]

Sunday night anxiety over job i hate, spent the day looking for new jobs.

My judgment is maybe a bit clouded but is this odd - I have a daily check in with my manager (some of our projects overlap and we’re only in the office for one day a week) but he will never start the teams meeting. He sits there and waits for me to start it and even commented “you should always start the meetings”

Last week he didn’t join for 10 minutes so I left and carried on with work and he messaged me to ask if I was too busy for a meeting … he’d been sat there and hadn’t got the pop up to say I’d started it so he’d just waited there doing nothing. Is this odd?

He told you he expects you to start it, what's the issue?

Yes it’s odd and annoying. But maybe not uncommon. I’ve had 2 bosses like this. Both reticent to start meetings, both in person or on Teams / by telephone. I have never understood whether it’s a problem with their time management or whether they have some kind of nervousness about approaching me for the meeting.

Maybe he doesn't know how to start the meeting through his own calendar without the little pop up that says you have started the meeting! 😂

Because why should it matter who starts the meeting? What would be so wrong with him starting it?

He didn’t (for whatever reason) get the notification I’d started it and so instead of starting it himself he just sat there waiting … I think that’s bizarre.

I’d hope he does, he has multiple meetings every single day so 😅

For better or worse, your boss thinks that you should make it clear that you're ready and waiting for him. Like knocking on the office door a minute before a meeting starts - you go to your manager in person, rather than waiting for him to come and find you when you haven't appeared; this one feels starting the Teams meeting is the equivalent of you going to him.

Just start the meeting and get on with work.

This, exactly.
It's just the WFH way of saying "give me a knock when you're free for the meeting".

FWIW I think it's weird OP. Most people I know will just start the meeting on time or when at their earliest opportunity if they are busy. They loiter around on their own until others join.

Have never been made aware of any kind of etiquette re joining in a certain order. The only etiquette would be to join on time surely - and he's the one failing to do that if he's waiting for you each time!

He manages you so you should just start it as expected

Daily check ins would be odd in itself for me.

I'd find it weird. Where I am, anyone starts the meeting and others join.

Yeah but I don’t make the rules so

But then that would be the equivalent of booking a meeting room and him waiting outside until I turned up. Like would a grown adult not just go inside the room, just like a grown adult can start a meeting.

I genuinely cannot get my head around some weird unwritten etiquette of who starts a meeting. No other managers have ever done this.

I think it's weird. I had to show my manager how to start a chat in Teams 😳

I'm a manager of many people and yes this is odd controlling behaviour. The pop up doesn't always pop up and so he's silly to rely on that. He should just go into the meeting like any normal person would. Maybe tell him the pop up isn't reliable in teams and see what he says (poor you dealing with this sort of nonsense!).

It’s a classic power move. He is telling you his time is more important than yours. You see this in film & television all the time where the big important boss comes into the meeting room with all his staff sitting around the big boardroom desk waiting on him.

If it was me I’d probably join the meeting on time & post a cheery “I’m here!” In the chat 😆

I just think its either controlling behaviour or passive aggressive bullshit.

Just think its utterly pathetic what he does. Like grow up and act like a mature adult.

Honestly when I first started and he was suppose to be training me and getting me access to the systems and it wasn’t set up right and he would ask me to tell him what was missing …, of a system I’ve never ever used and therefore hadn’t seen before so wouldn’t have had a clue.

Hopefully I’ll get a new job in 2023

I don’t think it’s controlling or a power move - I think he’s a bit incompetent and doesn’t know how to use teams properly.

next time you’re both in the office and have a teams meeting with a third person join slowly and deliberately in front of him. See if that fixes the problem 😬

I think it’s weird and very hierarchical. I have never even heard of this being a thing.

I would hate this, always having to placate their weird obsessions.
Glad I don't have to.

Just start the meeting. What's the big deal

Start the meeting then use the"request to join" function to drag him into it if he doesn't join immediately.
Makes you look proactive and stops any time being wasted. And you are complying with his request as your manager.

I do start the meetings, every single time. Where did you read that I didn’t?

But it’s weird that on MN it’s acceptable for a manager to sit there and purposely not join/start a meeting because they haven’t had a pop up notification. What does that even achieve.

Could you imagine if I’d posted from the other side - I insist that the person I manage starts our check in meetings every day, otherwise I won’t join. Today I didn’t get the pop up notification they’d started the meeting so I didn’t start it myself and instead sent them an IM asking if they were too busy for a meeting,

I fail to see what it achieves with dictating that it must always be the same person to start a meeting when surely you just join/start as soon as you’re free.

That is weird and frustrating. It's either a power play or incompetence.