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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Manager behaviour is weird?

34 replies

allstilltoplayfor · 04/12/2022 20:52

Sunday night anxiety over job i hate, spent the day looking for new jobs.

My judgment is maybe a bit clouded but is this odd - I have a daily check in with my manager (some of our projects overlap and we’re only in the office for one day a week) but he will never start the teams meeting. He sits there and waits for me to start it and even commented “you should always start the meetings”

Last week he didn’t join for 10 minutes so I left and carried on with work and he messaged me to ask if I was too busy for a meeting … he’d been sat there and hadn’t got the pop up to say I’d started it so he’d just waited there doing nothing. Is this odd?

OP posts:

girlmom21 · 05/12/2022 05:22

Maybe he doesn't want to just sit there waiting for you to join or give you a pop up when you're not ready. I don't see the issue.

Although if he's not joining meetings you've started that's annoying.

IAmTi · 05/12/2022 06:18

allstilltoplayfor · 04/12/2022 22:34

I do start the meetings, every single time. Where did you read that I didn’t?

But it’s weird that on MN it’s acceptable for a manager to sit there and purposely not join/start a meeting because they haven’t had a pop up notification. What does that even achieve.

Could you imagine if I’d posted from the other side - I insist that the person I manage starts our check in meetings every day, otherwise I won’t join. Today I didn’t get the pop up notification they’d started the meeting so I didn’t start it myself and instead sent them an IM asking if they were too busy for a meeting,

I fail to see what it achieves with dictating that it must always be the same person to start a meeting when surely you just join/start as soon as you’re free.

Show quote history

But just start the meeting then it's done.

Mamaneedsadrink · 05/12/2022 06:22

Sounds like weirdo, but if this is the worst of work issues, I'd be very happy with that

whoareyouinviting · 05/12/2022 07:25

IAmTi · 04/12/2022 22:06

Just start the meeting. What's the big deal

Are you OPs manager!

Beesandhoney123 · 17/01/2023 23:31

Colleague just promoted has started doing this! He asks if I am ready as he wants to chat, i say yes, then he waits for me to call him. He used to just call.

It's a weird powerplay, and can only assume he has been watching the office for management tips.

MMadness · 18/01/2023 00:36

No, you don't join or start as soon as you are free, you join on or before time.

As the reporting employee you've been given a clear instruction that you're expected to start the meeting. It doesn't matter how you feel about it, your manager and his methods (unless directly impacting on your ability to complete your tasks) aren't really for you to question.

Daily check-in's aren't unusual with remote teams. Based in Aus I had staff in 2 states and 2 countries so the check-ins were expected and were a mix of meetings or an update to a Team channel.

The only time I ever ensured I started a meeting first was if it were with a client. Internal meetings I was always on time and expected the same from my staff. I wasn't pedantic about WHO started it, but was for punctuality or at least informing me that they weren't running on schedule.

It doesn't come across as controlling at all. Rather the expectations have been set and you are chafing at them for no apparent reason?

LlynTegid · 18/01/2023 05:39

Start at your convenience, preferably on time each time. So if 30 seconds late means you complete something, all good.

Zanatdy · 18/01/2023 05:41

Bizarre behaviour. I have a lot of staff, lots of meetings, if the meeting hasn’t started by the exact time it’s due to start, I start the meeting. No matter who organised it, or who the manager is etc. I find the managers behaviour bizarre

Ablenicecat · 18/01/2023 06:13

Not normal for sure! You mentioned in the post and agree with if this was meeting in person would they wait outside the door and not be present. Maybe it's technology that he struggles with.

Online meetings really bring out personality traits - characters. I not sure you get the full focused commitment of the participants.

Observations are interesting
Co/worker who is starts meetings 10 minutes early - uses it as a time for social event - logistics manager who is always late - and we have to wait up to 10. Another who carries on working - not focusing - then you finish the meeting and find many emails from them.

I would try to influence a meeting on face to face ...

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