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AIBU?

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Original poster

Cash present for nursery child

30 replies

Bluevelvetcake4 · 04/12/2022 08:26

Hi
My 3 year old had just started receiving invitations for children’s parties. Would it be ok to put cash in the card or should I buy a present? I know presents are nice for the child to open but I don’t know what the child has or will like, so I feel like it’s more sensible to give cash so the parents can buy something.they actually want/don’t already have.

OP posts:
notdaddycool · 04/12/2022 09:14

I think that’s fine, they will get plenty of gifts from others, probably too many.

5foot5 · 04/12/2022 09:27

I suppose cash is OK if you really can't think of anything but most children that age would want something to open.

PuttingDownRoots · 04/12/2022 09:29

Packet of sweets or a book from the Works (10 for £10) plus a fiver in a card.

BuffaloCauliflower · 04/12/2022 09:30

I wouldn’t. Go to the Works and get 10 books for £10, wrap up a book or 2. They might already have it but it’s the sort of thing where noone would expect you to know so it doesn’t matter.

TheGoogleMum · 04/12/2022 09:31

One of the guests at my daughters 4th birthday put in a smyths toys gift card - I thought that was nice she can pick something out herself :) we had one parent ask what she was into and they did try hard which was sweet but 1 item was something she already had... so actually maybe the voucher is better! I was pleasantly surprised with what people bought in general though, I maybe need to up my present game! I thought spending a token £5 or so was fine but I reckon most spent £10 maybe more (we don't know the other parents)

User135792468 · 04/12/2022 09:31

BuffaloCauliflower · 04/12/2022 09:30

I wouldn’t. Go to the Works and get 10 books for £10, wrap up a book or 2. They might already have it but it’s the sort of thing where noone would expect you to know so it doesn’t matter.

Do you mean that you would give one book from the 10 for £10 books from The Works as a present and nothing else?

OhIdoLike2bBesideTheSeaside · 04/12/2022 09:34

My little boy is in nursery and got an invite recently and his mummy had put a little note in the card saying "no presents just your presence required, however if you would like to gift a little bit of money the little boy would love some outdoor toys" then she put it all together and got a swing/ slide set which is a nice and better in a way than piles of stuff - I sent some sweets too as it's nice fo skids that age to have something to open really. I've also bought a cheap drinks bottle before and put a £5 note in there for someone

PonyPatter44 · 04/12/2022 09:34

There's nothing actually wrong with it, but it feels a bit joyless for a three year old's party. What about a big box of crayons or colouring pencils, and a nice book? Won't break the bank, and its something to unwrap.

Dinoteeth · 04/12/2022 09:37

I would do malteasers or cheap book to unwrap and tenner in a card.

Very difficult to buy anything for a fiver these days.

bloodyeverlastinghell · 04/12/2022 09:41

Kids that age much prefer presents. I’ve had a magazine wrapped up with a bag of sweeties, books, I give orchard puzzles at 3-5, alway popular and made in the UK. Sold in a little shop locally so nice for dc to choose a gift for their friend. Now they are older they choose from Amazon.

BesidetheseasideXxx · 04/12/2022 09:47

If the invitation is covered in princesses, spiderman or dinosaurs etc.. I usually base the gift on that.

poormanspombears · 04/12/2022 09:49

Mine love colouring and drawing, so I would go with some pencils, a notepad with their initial on and a colouring book

milkandchocolat · 04/12/2022 09:50

I think at that age the child doesn't understand money so it would be like not receiving anything and is a bit joyless for them. Surely all children like sticker/colouring books or some colouring pens, even a CBeebies magazine? In my experience children start receiving money rather than presents in year 2.

Gingersay · 04/12/2022 09:53

At nursery age you can't beat playdoh and some sweets.

FlounderingFruitcake · 04/12/2022 10:01

It’s rubbish to give money at that age because they’re too young to understand the value of it. Not to mention they love unwrapping presents and getting a surprise! It doesn’t have to be anything big- a book, stickers, colouring bits, some play doh… that sort of thing!

Vitalsigning · 04/12/2022 10:04

YANBU

when I don’t know the child well I usually just chuck a tenner in a card and call it a day

MolesOnPoles · 04/12/2022 10:04

I also think cash is a bit shit. Craft stuff, a baking kit from the supermarket or a book all require zero thought if that’s the issue, probably cost less, and will be much more appreciated.

Dinoteeth · 04/12/2022 10:12

I don't get why people are saying is cash shit means they can pick something they like and parents don't end up with 20 x £10 gifts that they need to find space for.

Never too young to learn that money buys stuff.

BuffaloCauliflower · 04/12/2022 10:18

@User135792468 yes, maybe 2 or 3. A couple of books is a totally appropriate present for a child with this relationship to the giver

User135792468 · 04/12/2022 10:27

BuffaloCauliflower · 04/12/2022 10:18

@User135792468 yes, maybe 2 or 3. A couple of books is a totally appropriate present for a child with this relationship to the giver

A £1 book in conjunction with other small bits is absolutely fine. I think your suggestion is inappropriate so I hope the Op doesn’t listen. It’s cheap and frankly a bit embarrassing. I’m not one for spending loads but I would say it’s £5 minimum. Most parties we attend, people spend £5-10. Some more.

elevenplusdilemma · 04/12/2022 10:28

Cash to a preschooler is a bit of a nothing gift. Even if you slipped £50 in there, it's no more exciting to them than a piece of paper as they don't understand its value (and in modern society probably don't even see it being spent in shops anymore).

My go-to gift for a classmate child of that age is a sticker book. There are loads of choices and even if they have had that one before, it's something they can do again at a later date. Unless you know the parent is a health freak or the child has a dietary requirement, add a small chocolate bar (Milkybar, Freddo, bag of buttons etc) for added wow.

Original poster
Bluevelvetcake4 · 04/12/2022 11:02

I’m looking at £10-15. I get that it’s more exciting for the child to have a present but I doubt my kids would be as thrilled with yet another colouring book or play dough (which they already have lots off that was gifted to them) as they would be with a be with a new toy or game they don’t already have. It seems like people prefer presents so I will just get an orchard game and hope they don’t already have it.

OP posts:
ThreeLittleDots · 04/12/2022 11:06

Jesus God - a £15 present for a THREE year old?!

Notanotherusername4321 · 04/12/2022 11:07

My dc went to a school where a significant number of families were from a culture where cash for birthdays was the norm.

Tbh I thought it was great. They always got more than enough presents to open- so a few cards with cash in it weren’t even noticed and I put the money away for them.

BuffaloCauliflower · 04/12/2022 11:37

@User135792468 Id hate anyone to feel obligated to spend any amount of money on my child. 30 class parties all expecting a £10 present each is hundreds of pounds for a parent, great if you have that but lots of people don’t and I don’t think it should be expected. If people spend any money on a presents for my child that’s very gratefully received. Parties are for the children to enjoy not just get presents. Plus who knows if you spend £2 on £10 on the books, the same books cost vastly different amounts in different shops. If I went to Waterstones and spent £12 on the same 2 books would that suddenly become an acceptable present to you?