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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think school are cheeky fuckers?

264 replies

sandpDy · 03/12/2022 21:07

DS started school in September. Reception.

September - McMillan coffee morning. Donate £2 and wear something green

October - wear blue and donated £1 to sands, a still birth and neonatal death charity Confused Halloween party - bring in cakes, a bottle of soft drink and something else of your choosing. Halloween coming up - £1 and you can wear your costume to school

November - children in need day. Wear something yellow and donated £2. Childrens fun day, bring in £5 to join in activities Shock

December - Non uniform £1 donation. 15th December Christmas jumper day. Bring in £2.

In addition to this, they've asked for donations in his class for jumpers and socks, and spare clothes for spares. Also asking for a 'small contribution'
so they can buy some for the class

AIBU to think this is pretty wild?!

OP posts:
Check1Check2 · 03/12/2022 21:50

Our Primary is a lot worse, every week something is going on. Went to the school Christmas Fayre and it was dead with no atmosphere. The PTA are even worse with their constant events. Even the kids are bored of it.

CaronPoivre · 03/12/2022 21:50

It’s hard but many would complain if schools didn’t do things like Christmas events or Children in Need.

beatsin8s · 03/12/2022 21:52

I wish we only got asked for a £1. It's always donate a bottle or fair trade item. Having to either buy clothes because you don't have the right colour at home/don;t have a Christmas jumper or risk your DC feeling the odd one out.
Same with trips and other extra things they do, we have to pay the full price and you can't have your 6 year old the only one not going on the trip/to the event but only Parent Council are asked for their input on these things (yes, we all could join but we aren't all able to).

Paying £5 to get into the Christmas fayre that you then have to spend more money on to buy whatever your child has made in class because they are excited. The only thing our Parent council contribute to is towards cost of coaches to trips once per year so I've no idea where the rest goes to!

It's very stressful. Secondary much better but then they get the chance to go abroad which blows all these things out the park!

MelchiorsMistress · 03/12/2022 21:54

I don’t have a problem with schools asking for money from parents when the money is for the school or for something that will directly benefit the children.

I have a massive problem with external charities fundraising in schools. Especially when there’s some kind of fun thing that children have to pay to participate in. Children do not go to school so that their parents can be sitting targets for huge charities.

TwiggletLover · 03/12/2022 21:55

I don't donate direct to the school as I am being asked for money every week for something or other. I would much rather this was consolidated into a termly donation or similar

Busybody2022 · 03/12/2022 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Sorry all, but this is an emotional vampire troll back with more made up nonsense. Apologies to those who have advice in good faith.

All entirely normal

underneaththeash · 03/12/2022 21:56

£14 for the term - is that really too much?

DingDongItsChristmas · 03/12/2022 21:56

I'm with you!

Just recently we have had:

  • £3 Halloween Disco with pocket money stall available to buy treats/drinks (additional £3)
  • Dress down day (donate prize for Christmas Fayre tombola)
  • £7 Christmas Cards printed with child's design
  • £5 towards cost of panto (subsidised by PTA)
  • £2 per. person entry for Christmas Fayre plus costs for stalls
  • £15 professional photographer portraits
  • £30 deposit for £330 residential happening next Spring

Coming up - Christmas jumper day and Christmas lunch!

It is RELENTLESS!

Bringonsummer19 · 03/12/2022 21:57

It’s annoying. I find it also annoying trying to remember and also having a £1 on the time. I’d rather pay £20 at the start of the school year for you to forget me for the rest of the year

DelphiniumBlue · 03/12/2022 21:57

I teach in a primary school, and I can tell you the teachers neither know nor care who has made a donation, and certainly would not be charging to do an activity. I'd say fewer than half the children actually buy the mugs/cards with their art on it, and whilst maybe 50% might buy the individual photos, not many buy the whole class one, at least not every year.
Don't feel obliged to buy things or make donations that you can't afford, this is all voluntary.

Busybody2022 · 03/12/2022 21:57

MelchiorsMistress · 03/12/2022 21:54

I don’t have a problem with schools asking for money from parents when the money is for the school or for something that will directly benefit the children.

I have a massive problem with external charities fundraising in schools. Especially when there’s some kind of fun thing that children have to pay to participate in. Children do not go to school so that their parents can be sitting targets for huge charities.

Our school limits the external fundraisers. They partake in children in need and nspcc days. They also do a young carers charity that directly works with kids at the school anyway. On all 3 fundraisers for those the donations are split 5050 into school PTA pot and the charity. They raised £650 for CiN so CiN got £300, PTA £350

berksandbeyond · 03/12/2022 21:59

It's a few quid.
Why the weird face about supporting SANDS? A very worthy charity

Lkydfju · 03/12/2022 21:59

Our school was like that last year and lots of people said it was too much so they scaled back this year and just did children in need and some more optional type things like a Halloween disco

ditherydotty · 03/12/2022 21:59

That's very little to what my primary have requested so I'd be happy with your lot.

£15 Ancient Greece workshop yr6
£12 Tudor living history yr2
£5 each school disco plus spending
£1 each odd sock day
£455 yr6 PGL trip

Plus all what you've mentioned 🤯

Sugargliderwombat · 03/12/2022 22:00

Only half the class ever remember. Noone cares who contributes, so if you don't want to donate £1 to charity then don't.

Verbena17 · 03/12/2022 22:00

It’s ridiculous yes, but what most parents don’t realise/think about is they can just send in their child in NON-uniform and just not donate.

It’s a donation - you don’t have to pay it.

If school say your child came in without paying, say “I thought school was supposed to be inclusive”. They would never show up your child for not paying.

They need to realise that not all parents can afford it. But aside from the money, some parents don’t support all charities. They cannot force you to donate. Just don’t make a big thing about it and don’t pay.

Costadelot · 03/12/2022 22:01

Just wish people who could afford to pay more taxes did.
We had 3 at primary at the same time. We could just about afford it al but my brain struggled with remembering it all especially pre Facebook or WhatsApp!

Verbena17 · 03/12/2022 22:02

MelchiorsMistress · 03/12/2022 21:54

I don’t have a problem with schools asking for money from parents when the money is for the school or for something that will directly benefit the children.

I have a massive problem with external charities fundraising in schools. Especially when there’s some kind of fun thing that children have to pay to participate in. Children do not go to school so that their parents can be sitting targets for huge charities.

This totally!

MeJane · 03/12/2022 22:03

I had no money at all in my classroom budget last year because three families didn't pay for the school trip so it had to come out of my classroom money as there is literally no 'spare' money in the school. The head wanted to cancel the trip but we wouldn't have been able to get the money back on the coach.

So we didn't have any money for card to make Mother's Day cards.

Where do you think spare clothes should come from? Someone has to pay for them.

LadyMarmaladeAtkins · 03/12/2022 22:03

The majority of those are raising money for external charities and this is the problem because the school is mandating contributions to charities you might not choose to support or cannot afford to support. I do think this drip-drip of financial contributions needs to stop; I'll bet that there are parents who have toast for dinner (if that) so their child isn't the one who is embarrassed or singled out at school for not being able to bring in their "it's just a pound... and a cake... and a costume". It's not right. Contributions should be genuinely voluntary, and it shouldn't be obvious to the other children whose parents can't afford to contribute.

PerpetualStudent · 03/12/2022 22:03

My DCs school PTA are currently really aggressively fundraising for some new equipment that is going to cost an arm and a leg and has minimal educational value - when we have professional, accessible version of the same thing literally down the road.

Constant requests for both money and baking (no I don’t want to buy back my own cakes for twice the cost of the ingredients) I’m convinced it’s mainly to make the fundraising team feel like they are pillars of the community, does my nut in.

hollyivysaurus · 03/12/2022 22:06

I just take a deep breath, remember the absolutely hideous amount I paid for nursery fees (and with hindsight the nursery was nowhere near as good at the preschool at my kids school, I since realised with DC2!), remember how many absolutely amazing things the school do for my kids every single day, and get my purse out! We're fortunate that the odd few pounds here and there don't matter, and I'm happy to give towards the school.

BUT if you can't afford it, do tell them. I know 100% that if I couldn't manage the various donations, my kids would still be included in the events, allowed to do non-uniform, allowed into the discos etc, which is by far the most important thing.

LadyMarmaladeAtkins · 03/12/2022 22:06

Yes, what the fundraising team ought to be doing more of is seeking if businesses who are doing well can contribute prizes or sponsor the football teams' shirts or put money into the school for major equipment (esp if that can also benefit the community) in return for some good PR.

Penguinsaregreat · 03/12/2022 22:06

I agree with the poster who said fine for fundraising for the school, not so much for external charities.
You don’t have to buy school photos or the mug. As for spare clothes where else do you think they get them from? I took all dcs swimwear into school plus spare towels and the school were incredibly grateful. If it meant a child could go swimming then I’m glad to have helped. I also took goggles in too.

Redbone · 03/12/2022 22:07

YABU ! Pretty standard in most primary schools in the uk. Be grateful that you don’t live in Ireland you have to pay for exercise books and text books there too.