To think people don't realise how much racism is directed towards Eastern Europeans ?

[rudolphrainbownose]

My boyfriend is Latvian, I am English. I've never really mixed much with the eastern european community until we started dating two years ago, so naively assumed racism wouldn't be so much of an issue.
However, my boyfriend works security at a railway station. He is often allocated to a very small station in town, and so is normally the only employee/ worker present. Due to this, his employer provides him and all staff with body worn cameras so there is audio/ visual proof of the following. Whenever people start behaving in an antisocial way at the station, ( e.g. kids trespassing on the tracks, smoking/ drinking alcohol, attempting to board trains without tickets etc), he will challenge this as part of his job. Obviously, as soon as he starts speaking/ engaging with these people, it is clear he has a strong eastern European accent. Without fail, they will normally retort, "well f back home/ back to Poland", ( he is not Polish, has never even been to Poland, but it is always "go back to Poland," ), that is the insult. Yesterday evening he tried to stop a man from stealing a passenger's bike, ( they have bike lock/ sheds there) . The man became enraged and started yelling , "just here for our benefits, go back to Poland!" ( despite the fact my boyfriend was in work uniform and obviously working). When my DP pointed out he was working and so not a benefit claimant anyway, the guy became very aggressive, shouted , "just f off back home and pushed my partner over." I'm genuinely shocked. Whilst physical violence like last night is rare, the "go back to Poland!" comments seem to happen at least once a month or so, just for doing his job and asking people not to steal/ smoke / drink/ tresspass etc at the station.

It's got to the stage that he insisted our daughter , ( two months old), had my surname when we registered her, as he didn't want her to receive abuse for having an eastern european name. AIBU to feel we don't actually recognise this group receive a lot of abuse ? To be perfectly honest, I was not aware of the extent of it until I met my partner.

On the other hand, it may just be that working security , ( and therefore "annoying," people by asking them to stop antisocial behaviour so they retaliate), means he is unfortunately much more prone to abuse than someone working in a shop/ factory / office etc

@TruckerBarbie - I think @Hobbi was referring to the ‘where are you really from?’ debacle where a black woman was repeatedly asked where she was from (despite repeatedly saying London).

I was born in U.K. and am british but don’t have a typical British accent and am E Asian. I used to get the where are you from question a lot when I was working in the health/care sector - it was in a curious, friendly way. I gave the questioners what they wanted - told them about how my family had migrated across the world from grandparents country of origin. Often they then told me their link to the region and said something complimentary about it.

some of my relatives don’t like the ‘where are you really from’ question as they feel it implies they don’t belong in U.K. I can understand why they would find it offensive (especially with the abuse OPs DP and others have talked about).

@TruckerBarbie
What TV show? What are you talking about?

I recently met an Eastern European woman and prior to meeting her I wouldn't have had a clue what you were on about.

As a black woman I am surprised by how much difficulty she has in day to day life just because of her accent.

I'm not sure if I'd call it racism but it absolutely is discrimination.

I think people on mn should realise there are people from different countries which group others differently. I am from Europe but if you say Asian it means East asian to us, not like in UK.
So you can all tirn thread into "Aha! Gotcha" about terms, but it's bit ignorant since things have different meanings to different people....

Also discussion about Poles when he is not even.

But that's normal. We are all Polish. I was told to go back to Poland so many times😂 Not even Polish....

This is how map looks like in many people's heads.

Ugh at comments here.
OP it’s a horrid thing for your husband to suffer. Racism or xenophobia, who cares about the definition. It’s an intimidating, humiliating, scary and depressing feeling to have abuse thrown your way because of your origins. There is no excuse.

You can blame the Brexit campaign (and voters) for this. They’ve poisoned society.

The poison was there. It always was, they just allowed it to grow.
I was getting "go back to poland" "polish bitch" etc in 2008

No, it was because he speaks English as a first language and because his accent identifies him as “one of us”. White Australians, Americans and Canadians do not suffer the same kind of xenophobia as other nationalities. We are immersed in North American culture and it is not often seen as a negative to come from that region. Canadians don’t even have the negative connotations Americans do. His reception in this country has been very different to that outlined by other immigrants in this thread.

Latvians are not Slavic. They are ethnically Baltic.

Yes people can be polite but this poster’s hubby’s conversations never got to that point/ instead straight to abuse. Seriously I think the people getting off are drunk and stupid. It’s best to look for another job.

There is a bit of a hierarchy of racism in the UK. This persons DH is classified as White Other, not as White British. So he’s essentially a different class. Now I noticed a friend of mine who was Asian was being constantly horrid to the White Other group. I asked them about this. They said that it shits them off that they get to blend in after even 1 generation and the kids look like they are British whilst my friend who was born here still looks Asian and the kids too. So I don’t know I guess in some way there is a weird jealousy there. I think it’s truly wrong to feel this but then again understand that I am not in either’s shoes.

Both are true. Some British constantly ask where are you really from of people you look or sound ‘foreign’ to them. But equally, some British dont do this and accept people for who they say they are. I’ve been on the receiving end of this as I ‘sound foreign’ even though Im not.

This is patently not true. There are many many parts of the U.K. that have anti-American sentiment and Canadians and Australians often get lumped in with them. My DH is American and he’s experienced alot of racism here. For example, he will call to get a quote to have the car serviced and be told it’s £160 for an oil change and new filter. Then he will have a mate call a week later. Same car, same oil change and it’s £60. We were in Wiltshire once too and stopped at a pub for lunch the publican refused to serve us because my DH was American. Other people were coming in and being served, empty tables everywhere but no table for us. I also drove by one of the American air bases and on the outside was spray painted “Go Home Yanks”. He was sacked from a job once during probation with the pathetic reason being that he kept using the GPS when his boss insisted he needed to learn where everything was by heart. In the office he often heard comments like ‘Why are Americans so stupid” “An American is like a fart in a teacup” and constantly had his pronunciation and accent mocked.

Americans are certainly not viewed as “one of us” (us meaning British).

Its not exactly the same as what other immigrants face, but it’s more similar and different. We have close friends who are also immigrants and the stories aren’t much different.

I have many more examples btw. Could be here all day.

I am an EE but am told I look and sound French, so unsuspected. I make a point to tell people where I am from and also to tell them about the wonderful culture the warmth of the people from my home country I left as a child. I would not change my legacy for a single moment of just being born here. Life is a rich rich tapestry and having the experience of living in different countries is a huge asset. Let small people be small people. It’s the heart that matters.

I guess your mileage may vary in these things. My husband says he hasn’t experienced anything like what you say but has certainly noticed the Polish women he works with receive very different treatment. Apparently customers gush over his accent and when he worked as a waiter, he used to receive more tips that anyone else, which I think is a fairly good indicator of how the general public perceive you. Maybe it’s more the political aspect of being American? Or being near an American army base? Either way, I’m sorry your husband has experienced this bigotry.

Totally agree with you OP. Call it Xenophobia or racism, there seem to be such an attitude in the UK and certainly on MN that if the colour of your skin is white, you can't understand what racism is. I was told this on MN and the bully came to support them.

I have been the victim of Xenophobia. It hurts. It belittles you. It makes you feel insecure. I would never try to compare it to what black people experience. I couldn't know, but what I do know is that it does affect you.

@Hobbi @Onnabugeisha and others

FWIW apologies for my silly nonsense last night. How embarrassing. I was completely wrong and hold my hand up. Consider me now educated 🤦

Apologies also for detailing the thread

Wait. Was there just a very reasonable apology on mn thread about racism (or anything for that matter)?😁
Nice!

More posts like this on the racism threads would make MN a less toxic environment.

I think your DF's opinion is interesting, and one that I think is quite significant.

My feeling is that what many people object to isn't so much the presence of non-British nationals living in the UK, it's the fact that some of them don't assimilate themselves into British society, preferring to function entirely in ex-pat communities. Some make no attempt to learn English, or embrace British culture in any way. Sadly those people are more visible to the racists, who don't notice the many ex-pats who contribute to the UK in a multitude of ways.

It's a bit like the Brits who go and live in Spain, never learning a word of Spanish and only eating English food, watching UK TV, and hanging out with other Brits.

@Sarahcoggles
That was Thatcher's standpoint. Essentially, we'll always see you as lesser beings, but if you wear a Union Jack waistcoat and put up with racial slurs, we might be slightly less hateful. You're in good company.

I don't think you've understood what I said. Perhaps read it again. I'm simply saying that one of the things that some people (I didn't say what my view is) object to some ex-pats is that they don't assimilate themselves into the society of their adopted country.

I had friends who worked in NZ for a couple of years. All the Brits hung out together, lived and socialised together, and few became close to locals. The New Zealanders mocked them, and there was a definite line drawn between the nationalities, because the Brits hadn't assimilated.

I think that for many, we are essentially tribal, and they adopt the attitude of "if you're not with me, you're against me".

@Hobbi you can have little digs at me if you want to, but I am just telling you how many people think. Like it or not, that's the way it is.