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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In think that most children don't stop believing in Father Christmas at 5 years old?

168 replies

Bbq1 · 03/12/2022 16:13

On Mumsnet, there seems to be a large contingent of posters who claim that children over the age of 5 don't believe in Santa and if they do believe then they shouldn't. I have never met a 5 year old who didn't wholeheartedly believe in Santa, elves, everything. I think peak believing years are actually age 4 to 8. It's actually sad because if a child doesn't believe in Santa at 5 then they never really have. I wasn't a particularly naive child but I was 10 when I worked it out. My ds was around 9 I think. To me believing up to age 10 or so is entirely the norm -vor am in the minority in thinking that ?

OP posts:
SilverOnToast · 03/12/2022 16:33

i told my DC last year when a classmate had told them differently. They were 9 and never really liked the idea of Santa so I figured I’d break it to them gently. They were devastated that I’d lied to them about that and Easter Bunny etc. I really believed when I was a child and loved the magic of Christmas but I regret deceiving them. They are autistic and honesty is so much more important than ‘magic’ to them. I just didn’t think about it from their perspective.

BringbackSpringsteen · 03/12/2022 16:33

I wonder how much difference being in a multicultural area makes. Half of my son's class is Muslim and then there are some children of other faiths. Last year he had some searching questions about how Santa could tell if you were Muslim or not..

LBFseBrom · 03/12/2022 16:33

I think most kids between 5-6 realise Father Christmas is probably not real (if they have been told the myth), they will be with others at school who don't believe. However some desperately want to believe, others carry on with it to please parents.

My parents told me about Father Christmas but I never really believed it. I never told my son that FC was real, only a charming myth/legend about which stories are weaved - like fairy stories. He was happy with that.

swg1 · 03/12/2022 16:34

My six year old still absolutely believes. My 9 year old goes between questioning and absolutely dead certain that he's real. He also believes with a rock solid certainty in the tooth fairy.

Oysterbabe · 03/12/2022 16:36

DD will be 7 this month and is absolutely a believer.

crumbsneverdid · 03/12/2022 16:36

My daughter is 9, she still believes in him or at least wants to believe he's real. This year will probably be the last.

jamoncrumpets · 03/12/2022 16:37

I worked it out at five. My mum kind of knew I would. I was the Sherlock Holmes of my family.

ilovesooty · 03/12/2022 16:38

BringbackSpringsteen · 03/12/2022 16:27

Mine worked it out when he was 5. He is now 6 and sort of plays along but it's obvious (he isn't a good liar) that he doesn't believe

I find it really unlikely that there are 10 year olds who really believe

Many, many years ago I'd worked it out just before my 6th birthday and didn't believe any more. I did get into a lot of trouble for telling my 3 year old sister on Christmas Eve though - long story. My niece told me when she was 6 that she knew it wasn't true but she was playing along as she feared a reduction in presents.

I'm always quite surprised when I read about KS2 aged children still believing.

x2boys · 03/12/2022 16:44

ilovesooty · 03/12/2022 16:38

Many, many years ago I'd worked it out just before my 6th birthday and didn't believe any more. I did get into a lot of trouble for telling my 3 year old sister on Christmas Eve though - long story. My niece told me when she was 6 that she knew it wasn't true but she was playing along as she feared a reduction in presents.

I'm always quite surprised when I read about KS2 aged children still believing.

These kind of comments really piss me off,always meant in a slightly sneering way ,is it beyond you to understand ,that children just like adults will.alphabet different experiences and imagination,s .?

x2boys · 03/12/2022 16:44

Will have*

MajorCarolDanvers · 03/12/2022 16:46

My youngest - 10 yo old - still believes but it will likely be the last year.

Rinatinabina · 03/12/2022 16:46

I never believed in father xmas so I’m sure some kids don’t either or figure it out. I wanted to believe though.

Heartstopper · 03/12/2022 16:48

I think up to about 7 is normal. I suspect older children who claim to believe are just pretending in order to retain the magic.

antelopevalley · 03/12/2022 16:50

I think there is a difference between when kids start questioning the whole thing and when they are 100% sure it is not true. There are ages where it is not a case of believe and don't believe, but more a maybe. Or even I know it isn't true, but I want to believe.

AdalineStephen · 03/12/2022 16:53

The parents saying they are surprised kids older than 5/6 still believe are basing that on their own efforts to maintain the magic.

dottycat123 · 03/12/2022 16:54

My DS 1 was 11 and in last year at Primary school. He says that because he used to snoop about and could never find anything he continued to believe, I used to put the presents inside a suitcase in the attic. DS 2 was slightly younger but not much. Definitely no questioning before aged 9.

Hellothere54 · 03/12/2022 16:54

most of my class of year 5s (so 9 and 10) are ridiculously excited about their blooming elves turning up and most seem to genuinely believe and were disappointed that no elf had come to the classroom (I hate elf on the shelf and refuse to allow the little snitch in my classroom!)

SomeoneFireKwaziiKitten · 03/12/2022 16:55

I don’t remember believing in Father Christmas. I know I did at one point but I must have worked it out by about 7.

DS is 4 and highly skeptical. Even last year (just turned 3) he was questioning it so I’m not sure he really believes. We’ll keep doing it for as long as he’s happy to go along with it though because it’s a nice tradition.

it does surprise me that some children still believe in secondary school tbh but maybe their parents are just very creative/into Christmas/good at acting!

Namechanger965 · 03/12/2022 16:56

When I was in primary most kids believed until around year 5. Now it does seem to be a bit younger, more 7/8ish. But kids on the whole seem older these days. I remember girls in year 5 at school still playing with dolls. That doesn’t seem to happen now either. DD is 5 and whole heartedly believes. I hope she does for a few more years but if she hasn’t figured it out by year 6 I think I’d tell her.

Frankenstina · 03/12/2022 16:58

Well mine stopped believing at 5 or 6.

Atmywitsend29 · 03/12/2022 16:59

DS (almost 10) hadn't mentioned anything about it this year, he asked if we could put the decs up (normally happens by magic) so we did.
And then all of a sudden he wanted to write a letter to Santa and asked this morning why Santa didn't move his Xmas teddy which he then did himself.

I don't think he believes anymore, I think he's humouring us.

However last year, he definitely did still believe and was just starting to question.

ilovesooty · 03/12/2022 17:01

x2boys · 03/12/2022 16:44

These kind of comments really piss me off,always meant in a slightly sneering way ,is it beyond you to understand ,that children just like adults will.alphabet different experiences and imagination,s .?

Who are you to tell me I meant my comment "in a slightly sneering way"?

I made an observation and stated an opinion - nothing more : nothing less. Quit telling others what they meant.

HippyChickMama · 03/12/2022 17:03

DS (15) has ASD and believed until he was 12, he only found out the truth when his religious studies teacher included Santa when giving examples of myths and legends. DD turned 9 in August and still believes but is definitely starting to have her doubts, she has just twigged about the tooth fairy so I think this will be our last Christmas where she believes. She is NT afaik so perhaps more typical of the average

Lilyfrilly · 03/12/2022 17:03

my son was 9 when he worked it out. I bought a book on Amazon called ‘the truth about Santa’ it’s really lovely. He’s 12 now and still keeps the magic going for my
9 year old (I think she knows, or suspects now.) and my 3 year old who is understanding Christmas for the first time. I think age 8 is probably average for at least suspecting. And by 10 they almost definitely know but the willing suspension of disbelief helps them believe a little longer sometimes.

DontMakeMeShushYou · 03/12/2022 17:04

I figured it out at 5 years old (because Dad didn't realise I was awake). But I didn't tell anyone until my mum sat me down at 11 to tell me. So whilst my parents were blissfully happy thinking their 9 year old still believed, the reality was somewhat different. I was very good at playing along with their game.

Maybe not at 5, but I suspect most 7 year olds have figured it out. If you think your 9 year old still believes because you're so good at 'keeping the magic alive', you might want to consider that those acting skills may have been inherited! The wool is being pulled over someone's eyes and it might not be theirs.