Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To complain about GP's incorrect referral?

134 replies

shallwego · 02/12/2022 15:22

Hi all.

Sorry it's going to be a long one!!!

So following from a discussion I've had on another thread.

I have been suffering with infertility for the past 3 years. My DH and I have been tracking everything we possible can, and it's just not happening for us.

Around 2 years ago now, I contacted the GP at my doctors surgery to ask for some help and guidance. I had some blood tests carried out, and they came back clear. At the time, I also had a pelvic scan done which was also okay, but they did advise they struggled to get a super clear image since I was a little overweight.

I was told I'd be placed on a waiting list for further help in the fertility department, and so I've waited patiently to be contacted by this department.

In the meantime, DH and I took care of ourselves as much as possible, continued trying but tried to relax a little to see if the 'relaxed' approach would help, but it didn't.
We decided to both have weight loss surgery to aid in our chances of conceiving, and also for personal benefits and reasons, and this has worked really well for us. We are 18st down between us now and so so much happier and healthier! We have been given the all clear from our surgical team to confirm TTC. They're extremely happy with our progress.

I got a call around a month ago from the NHS, and was told I was finally at the top of the fertility waiting list! I was so, so happy to finally be getting some guidance. I awaited my letter in the post for my appointment, and when it finally came through I attended the gynaecology department as per the letters request. I was due into the appointment at 3:30, but ended up waiting in the wait in room for over 2 hours before being seen.

I went into the dr's office at 6.40 and sat down to hear about my next steps. Confirmed my details, DOB etc etc and he began reading back through my medical notes and history. He began talking about some of the notes he had on file, and all was okay (blood work, scan etc)

He then began discussing my 'consecutive miscarriages' at 10-15 weeks pregnant' and began to apologise for the losses etc. I was shocked COMPLETELY.

This isn't me. These aren't my notes. I haven't ever been lucky enough to fall pregnant, so I was utterly confused. I told him that this was incorrect, and he looked completely confused too. He continued reading through these notes and the rest of the information was mine again... but these consecutive miscarriages weren't true.

He asked me how this happened, and I honestly have no idea. He then continued on to say that since this isn't my information, and we are not completely sure I'm even able to GET pregnant, I'm in the wrong department. I would need to go back to my GP for a re-referral to the infertility specialists. Completely cold and matter of fact.

I was so upset and frustrated at both the length of time I'd waited in his waiting room just to hear that, and the fact I've been on the waiting list for the wrong department for 2 YEARS. I was just a sobbing mess.

He dismissed me, but before leaving the room he also said 'also you need to cut back on the junk food. You're still obese. The infertility team wouldn't give you so much as a look-in when you're BMI is this high' I asked him what my BMI would need to be. He said it's currently 34, and needs to be 30 in order to be considered. I explained to him that I've had weight loss surgery and have been trying so hard to bring my weight down to help in conception.

When I left the room, I was in absolute floods of tears. I'm absolutely heartbroken that I've been referred for the wrong department and wasted SO much time waiting for this appointment, only to be referred back to the start again.

I contacted the GP reception and advised on the situation, and was called back by my current doctor (the one before who mid-referred me isn't looking after me anymore). She's taken all our info and put us back onto the correct waiting list, but couldn't advise me of how long this may be.

What are my options now? For all I know these past 2 years could have been critical for us - and we've waited for absolutely nothing.

My mental health is so low following this, I don't know how much more I can actually take.

OP posts:
LIZS · 02/12/2022 17:24

Did you get a copy of the referral letter? I think your complaint should be with gp practice via the practice manager. PALS can find put what happened at the appointment but the root of the issue is incorrect information being given to the consultant, presumably by gp, Sadly he may be correct that your bmi does not yet meet the criteria for treatment, harsh as it may be.

TroysMammy · 02/12/2022 17:24

It may not have been the GP's fault. I dealt with a query the other day and it was the hospital department who forwarded the GP's correct referral to the incorrect Consultant.

Unless your GP referral was done incorrectly then that is a different matter. You can complain of course but it may not get you to the top of the list at the hospital.

Formaddict · 02/12/2022 17:31

Have you got access to your online notes? You should be able to see on the NHS app what the GP wrote on their original referral.

sorry this has happened to you xx

shallwego · 02/12/2022 17:38

TroysMammy · 02/12/2022 17:24

It may not have been the GP's fault. I dealt with a query the other day and it was the hospital department who forwarded the GP's correct referral to the incorrect Consultant.

Unless your GP referral was done incorrectly then that is a different matter. You can complain of course but it may not get you to the top of the list at the hospital.

I'm pretty sure I won't be bumped up the list at all - but that's okay. I just really want to know how on earth this has happened.

When I spoke to the gynaecologist he said it's actually the notes from the GP who was dealing with me at the time, that are the route of the issue as they're incorrect. He even showed me the referral letter she had sent in. It's really shocking how things like this can happen and make such an impact!

OP posts:
HalfasleepChrisintheMorning · 02/12/2022 17:44

Do you have any women’s problems at all OP? Irregular periods, painful periods, spotting? Anything other than a regular 28 day easy cycle? This could be covered privately for investigations on your end under menstrual disorders not fertility. Hysteroscopy and dye test, ultrasound, lap and dye if indicated etc.

shallwego · 02/12/2022 17:49

HalfasleepChrisintheMorning · 02/12/2022 17:44

Do you have any women’s problems at all OP? Irregular periods, painful periods, spotting? Anything other than a regular 28 day easy cycle? This could be covered privately for investigations on your end under menstrual disorders not fertility. Hysteroscopy and dye test, ultrasound, lap and dye if indicated etc.

I am really lucky actually and since my WLS I've had nice regular periods. They are very heavy and clotty though (so sorry for the graphic info) and painful. I've had the last few cycles, very painful pelvis around ovulation. It's hip-hip radiating pain. Since loosing weight I can feel everything.. even down to which ovary I'm ovulating from. As crazy as that may sound!Blush

I went to the GP on Wednesday night following a day of awful pain, and he had a feel around including an internal examination, and is pretty sure he can feel a cyst on my right side, but would like to refer me for a scan to confirm. He said it will take 6-12 weeks for the scan date to come through which is when I contacted my private insurer to discuss going privately. Luckily this is covered (but infertility is not) and I'm going to be seen on 16th Dec xx

OP posts:
NotMyDayJob · 02/12/2022 17:59

Get a referral on your private healthcare just about the ovary pain. Don't mention anything about fertility at all. Good gynecologists know now to play the game if you catch my drift.

Katyrosebug · 02/12/2022 17:59

I've been going through this process op, and I'm completely shattered by it, I can't even imagine how heartbreaking it is to get that far down and find they've fudged things up 😢 I haven't even made it as far as you and they won't see me because my bmi is too high, unfortunately for me it'll take around 6months to a year to lose it, then back on the waiting list once I've kept it off for 6 months, I'll be at the cut off point because of my age so doubt I'll be able to get help and I'm now saving to go private

Bessica1970 · 02/12/2022 18:00

Although frustrating, try not to think of it as a wasted two years. They would likely have required you to lose weight if they’d seen you back then, and that’s exactly what you have been doing.
I t may be that losing the last chunk will sort out your issues (fingers crossed) and you’re in a better place health wise now.
I would push to be bumped up the queue though

NotMyDayJob · 02/12/2022 18:00

By the way you'll probably need a GP referral, and ask them to do the letter without mentioning anything about fertility particularly given the mistakes they have made so far. I had a very similar situation. It turned out I had an endometrioma on my ovary and I needed surgery to remove

shallwego · 02/12/2022 18:01

NotMyDayJob · 02/12/2022 17:59

Get a referral on your private healthcare just about the ovary pain. Don't mention anything about fertility at all. Good gynecologists know now to play the game if you catch my drift.

That's really good to hear - thank you! Fingers crossed. This has given me a little glimmer of hope 🤩

OP posts:
shallwego · 02/12/2022 18:02

Katyrosebug · 02/12/2022 17:59

I've been going through this process op, and I'm completely shattered by it, I can't even imagine how heartbreaking it is to get that far down and find they've fudged things up 😢 I haven't even made it as far as you and they won't see me because my bmi is too high, unfortunately for me it'll take around 6months to a year to lose it, then back on the waiting list once I've kept it off for 6 months, I'll be at the cut off point because of my age so doubt I'll be able to get help and I'm now saving to go private

I'm so so sorry you're going through the same. It's soul destroying. I really hope you're able to get the help you need and deserve 🤞🏼❤️

OP posts:
shallwego · 02/12/2022 18:03

Bessica1970 · 02/12/2022 18:00

Although frustrating, try not to think of it as a wasted two years. They would likely have required you to lose weight if they’d seen you back then, and that’s exactly what you have been doing.
I t may be that losing the last chunk will sort out your issues (fingers crossed) and you’re in a better place health wise now.
I would push to be bumped up the queue though

That's actually a really nice way of viewing things! Thank you.

Like you say, I've personally used the time wisely and tried to help myself as much as I can so I'm really happy and proud of that 😊 hopefully they can do something with the awfully long list!

OP posts:
shallwego · 02/12/2022 18:04

NotMyDayJob · 02/12/2022 18:00

By the way you'll probably need a GP referral, and ask them to do the letter without mentioning anything about fertility particularly given the mistakes they have made so far. I had a very similar situation. It turned out I had an endometrioma on my ovary and I needed surgery to remove

I will do - thank you! Sorry to hear you needed surgery. Hope you're okay now. X

OP posts:
Misty999 · 02/12/2022 18:05

Ask if your referral to fertility can be backdated to the date of the original referral. GP should be able to sort this request a copy of the request and then call fertility to confirm.

Lifeisrelentless · 02/12/2022 18:23

A few years ago when I was worried about fertility I went to a private clinic and got a full fertility health check for £400. This included blood tests to check hormones, an internal scan to check my ovaries etc and checking my husbands sperm too. It might be worth a look into if you wanted to check for issues without the long wait?

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 02/12/2022 18:37

shallwego · 02/12/2022 18:01

That's really good to hear - thank you! Fingers crossed. This has given me a little glimmer of hope 🤩

Do you have any facial hair or thinning hair on top you can mention at the same time?

I'd get them to consider PCOS, they might be able to prescribe Metformin which has a weight loss effect and improves fertility in women with PCOS.

shallwego · 02/12/2022 22:47

@Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie nope, no excessive facial hair, just the very light, fine type hair everyone has (I think??) like peach fuzz 😅

I also don't have hair loss. The only symptoms I have to suggest PCOS is the pain around ovulation..

OP posts:
JustLyra · 02/12/2022 23:04

Request your notes from your GP and then go through them with a fine tooth comb.

I had errors in my notes - something that was my mother's was put in my notes (back in the days when notes were paper folders and children's were attached to the back of mothers) and it caused a pain for a few things until it was sorted

shallwego · 02/12/2022 23:14

JustLyra · 02/12/2022 23:04

Request your notes from your GP and then go through them with a fine tooth comb.

I had errors in my notes - something that was my mother's was put in my notes (back in the days when notes were paper folders and children's were attached to the back of mothers) and it caused a pain for a few things until it was sorted

Thank you, I will do.

The doctor is well known to be terrible, apparently!! I'm getting a call back from the manager of the surgery on Monday.

OP posts:
bakebeans · 02/12/2022 23:18

This is not very nice what happened at all. You need to complain to the practice manager as it may not have been your GP directly but the person doing the referral at the surgery or your notes may have been confused with another person.
secondly you need to complain to PALS for the way the consultant handled your situation . He could have arranged for you to be rebooked into the correct department given the cock up. I hope you get an apology and some answers x

Soontobe60 · 02/12/2022 23:25

Whilst I can see this must have been an awful situation to find yourself in, and bitterly disappointing, from what you’ve said it does sound that even if you’d been in the right department and been seen sooner, you’d still be in the same position you now are because of your weight. You’ve done a great job in managing to lose that weight, and I’m sure whilst you’re waiting to see the correct consultant you’ll be able to reduce your weight even further to bring your BMI down to a level they would find acceptable for fertility treatment.
So in reality, the wait would have most likely been as long.
As others have suggested, contacting PALS in the first instance, plus your GP surgery to make a complaint, is the way to go now. I suggest you also download the NGs app so you can see your medical records held by your GP. I hope all goes well for you x

curlymom · 02/12/2022 23:55

Could complain but the Nhs is a mess and nothing surprises me. We have just complained to pals about my husbands lack of treatment for cancer and they are starting to make contact but he has been waiting five months. I’m sure they would be delighted if you go private. I’m hoping you get pregnant in the meantime though.

DottieUncBab · 02/12/2022 23:55

Lifeisrelentless · 02/12/2022 18:23

A few years ago when I was worried about fertility I went to a private clinic and got a full fertility health check for £400. This included blood tests to check hormones, an internal scan to check my ovaries etc and checking my husbands sperm too. It might be worth a look into if you wanted to check for issues without the long wait?

I was going to recommend this too, my husband and I did this a few months ago for £600ish so if you can afford it I would for peace of mind in the mean time

shallwego · 03/12/2022 00:02

Thanks all.
I'm going to see what the GO surgery manager says on Monday and go from there in regards to taking the complaint higher. I don't know if I've really got the energy in me to do so..

Thanks everybody's suggestions so far - I am going to see what the private specialist says about the ovulation / cycle pain and then come up with a plan!

The private fertility costs aren't anywhere near as bad as I imagined!

OP posts: