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AIBU?

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Original poster

To get rid of the dog

150 replies

BananaLeafs · 01/12/2022 18:18

So here goes..my first post and I am open to hearing if I'm being unreasonable.

Around 6 months ago I got a reactive rescue dog, she wasn't from a rescue center but from a home where she was mistreated. She doesn't listen at all, she knows her name and will only respond if I offer her human food. She is dog and people aggressive, lunges and barks on lead, cannot be near anything, guards her crate and toys and food, very viciously, even guarding the hallway.

She will also lunge at you if you have something she wants eg food or plastic bottles. She has been spayed and I have had a dog trainer which hasn't helped. I am exhausted I just want to cry, she even barks at neighbours and lunges.

She is not the dog I thought I was helping, I knew she had a few issues but nothing like this. She has put her ears back and attempted to bite when we go anywhere near her things, she destroys blankets and beds and growls if you pick her up.

She will not let me answer the door or even leave the house,its like I'm a prisoner in my own home. I cannot go anywhere and have to take her everywhere I go or she barks until I come back.

I don't know what to do anymore I have tried so many things and leads and harnesses, she destroys everything including my social life and confidence to go out. She drags me about on walks too

I cannot take her to a rescue center as they will not take her, this is why I took her in or she would be euthanized or bred in a puppy farm. It's not getting any better.

I suffer from depression and wanted a dog to get me out more so I wanted to help a dog rather than buy a puppy so we could both be helped in one way or another.

I want to cry all the time as I don't know what to do anymore.

I don't know what I want for sharing this, I just need to let it out somewhere thank you for reading x

OP posts:
Original poster
BananaLeafs · 01/12/2022 18:19

There are no kids in the home BTW

OP posts:
stayathomer · 01/12/2022 18:21

Ah op, as someone with a non reactive playful puppy, where I have no huge issues but am wrecked tired I can’t offer you advice, just a hug. Sorry you’re both going through this (poor dog and poor you too x)

WildOats5678 · 01/12/2022 18:21

That is not a happy dog, have you exhausted all avenues with training? As in you’ve tried multiple trainers and not just the one?

Personally I believe there are worse fates for dogs than being put to sleep. Being handed from home to home or being left in a kennels for years on end is worse than being kindly put to sleep.

itsthelittlethinggs · 01/12/2022 18:21

You shouldn’t have taken her on but hindsight is wonderful

If she’s been given a clean bill of health from the vet speak to a breed specific reasuce

itsthelittlethinggs · 01/12/2022 18:23

& I agree with @WildOats5678

There are fates worse than death if you’ve exhausted every Avenue

Paq · 01/12/2022 18:23

Unless there is any chance of rehabilitation or rehoming where she could be managed well, I would PTS. Sorry, that's heartless I know, and it's not her fault humans let her down so badly.

My friend rescued a dog with so many issues. They tried absolutely everything for two years before finally admitting defeat.

Original poster
BananaLeafs · 01/12/2022 18:24

@stayathomer thank you, I hope you enjoy the time with your puppy though, I could only dream of what you have.

And @itsthelittlethinggs rescue centers won't take her that's how I ended up with her she had 2 choices euthanasia or she was sold to a breeding farm x

OP posts:
AwkwardPaws27 · 01/12/2022 18:25

Behavioural euthanasia is a valid option. This doesn't sound like a happy dog; she sounds distressed & terrified by the world around her

Original poster
BananaLeafs · 01/12/2022 18:26

I am trying so much and getting nothing back, I dread walking outside, can't do the basic things with her, I've tried multiple training methods, and adapted the home but she won't even allow me to have people over

OP posts:
SarahSissions · 01/12/2022 18:26

Are you in the UK?

Yarnosaura · 01/12/2022 18:26

rescue centers won't take her that's how I ended up with her she had 2 choices euthanasia or she was sold to a breeding farm

That sounds like a line used to tug at heartstrings.

Did you pay for her?

What breed is she?

What does your vet advise?

Zanatdy · 01/12/2022 18:28

Oh gosh this is incredibly hard. I had to have a dog I’d had since 6wks old many years ago PTS. He was reactive, but bitten us many times before I plucked up the courage to do it. He bit my child too, and I’d have done it sooner but my mum guilt tripped me into trying for longer. I adored him. I still feel a pang of sorrow when I think about what I did but there’s no way he could be rehomed, he wasn’t happy as had many issues and I am 100% sure he would have done someone some serious harm one day. I’ve no doubt he was inbred. The day I had him PTS he attacked and bit me, why I eventually did it. Your decision, but just wanted to say I feel for you, the guilt is terrible but trying to rehome would cause more problems for the dog, so guess it’s a case of you keeping him, or PTS. I can’t advise you on that. But I wish you all the best I really do

SquishyGloopyBum · 01/12/2022 18:28

Have you had a behaviourists help?

It's a struggle and I feel for you having a reactive dog myself. She's clearly unhappy and there's lots of issues in play here.

nonevernotever · 01/12/2022 18:29

If the rescue centres won't take her, I think that's telling you something. I'm afraid I would seriously be considering PTS. I certainly wouldn't want to be handing her over for breeding. At best it's risking perpetuating the problem and at worst she would have a miserable life too.

thelobsterquadrille · 01/12/2022 18:29

I think this dog needs to be put to sleep.

Her behaviour is screaming that she's insecure, scared and unhappy.

Some dogs are too traumatised to be helped. It's much kinder to put her to sleep than it is to keep her alive when she's so scared and unhappy.

MyGirlDaisy · 01/12/2022 18:29

Please seek advice/have a consultation with your vet - apologies if you have already done this, but that would be my starting point.

Theunamedcat · 01/12/2022 18:31

The phrase used is incompatible with real life ask yourself

Is the dog happy
Is the dog living a "good" life

Because it sounds like you have tried everything and everyone is miserable

Prettyinpink22 · 01/12/2022 18:31

Where are you based? I know some brilliant dog trainers who have worked with dogs like you describe and have had some fantastic results.

what breed and age is the dog?

girlmom21 · 01/12/2022 18:31

I think you need to speak to Dogs Trust. They have special units for dogs with more needs than normal. Take her to them, for her sake and your own.

Original poster
BananaLeafs · 01/12/2022 18:31

She is a lhasa apso, she is 18 months old. I wanted to give her a year to improve

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 01/12/2022 18:32

I would PTS. Do not let a dog ruin your life.

Hibernationsetting · 01/12/2022 18:36

Who told you that no rescue centre would take her? The person who owned her before?

dampthursday · 01/12/2022 18:36

thelobsterquadrille · 01/12/2022 18:29

I think this dog needs to be put to sleep.

Her behaviour is screaming that she's insecure, scared and unhappy.

Some dogs are too traumatised to be helped. It's much kinder to put her to sleep than it is to keep her alive when she's so scared and unhappy.

This is basically what I was going to say. It is desperately, desperately sad that she has been failed by people, but she is a danger to you, other people and other dogs. You are in real danger of ending up in trouble with the law if this carries on, and while I appreciate you were trying to do a good thing it doesn’t sound like she is improving or becoming happier in her surroundings.

What breed is she?

thelobsterquadrille · 01/12/2022 18:37

BananaLeafs · 01/12/2022 18:31

She is a lhasa apso, she is 18 months old. I wanted to give her a year to improve

That's very honourable but not all dogs can be helped. Some of them are severely traumatised and nothing can be done to make it better.

user1468698916 · 01/12/2022 18:37

Have a look at Southend Dog Training on facebook - they have done amazing work with very reactive dogs and have trainers all over the country. They’ve dealt with lots of dogs that other trainers have recommended PTS for.