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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get rid of the dog

150 replies

BananaLeafs · 01/12/2022 18:18

So here goes..my first post and I am open to hearing if I'm being unreasonable.

Around 6 months ago I got a reactive rescue dog, she wasn't from a rescue center but from a home where she was mistreated. She doesn't listen at all, she knows her name and will only respond if I offer her human food. She is dog and people aggressive, lunges and barks on lead, cannot be near anything, guards her crate and toys and food, very viciously, even guarding the hallway.

She will also lunge at you if you have something she wants eg food or plastic bottles. She has been spayed and I have had a dog trainer which hasn't helped. I am exhausted I just want to cry, she even barks at neighbours and lunges.

She is not the dog I thought I was helping, I knew she had a few issues but nothing like this. She has put her ears back and attempted to bite when we go anywhere near her things, she destroys blankets and beds and growls if you pick her up.

She will not let me answer the door or even leave the house,its like I'm a prisoner in my own home. I cannot go anywhere and have to take her everywhere I go or she barks until I come back.

I don't know what to do anymore I have tried so many things and leads and harnesses, she destroys everything including my social life and confidence to go out. She drags me about on walks too

I cannot take her to a rescue center as they will not take her, this is why I took her in or she would be euthanized or bred in a puppy farm. It's not getting any better.

I suffer from depression and wanted a dog to get me out more so I wanted to help a dog rather than buy a puppy so we could both be helped in one way or another.

I want to cry all the time as I don't know what to do anymore.

I don't know what I want for sharing this, I just need to let it out somewhere thank you for reading x

OP posts:
Original poster
BananaLeafs · 01/12/2022 18:40

I will take a look thank you @user1468698916, she is good when there is nothing to resource guard x

OP posts:
MadameDe · 01/12/2022 18:40

It sounds like you've done everything you can. I think you should talk to the vet and see what she says. My mum had to do it once when we had a dog who attacked everyone in sight - poor dog was traumatised by the passing of his owner.

All you can do is learn from this experience. I'm sure you would be an amazing owner to a dog without so many behavioural issues.

ticktickticktickBOOM · 01/12/2022 18:41

Call the RSPCA and an inspector will come out to chat to you and advise you. The poor dog sounds incredibly stressed and this is going to also affect you hugely.

Bostonbullsmumma · 01/12/2022 18:41

How did you find out about her and adopt her? It’s so sad to read her previous owners would sell her for breeding. I too would probably want to give the dog a chance hearing that but the realities, like you say, are hard and I really feel for you.

I agree with a previous poster re a breed specific rescue. My sister fosters for one. You never know there may be a foster carer with them who had experience and methods to help deal with your dog. It’s worth a shot if the only other option is to PTS.

Escapetothecatshome · 01/12/2022 18:43

If I were you, my first point of call would be the Kennel Club, find a lhasa Apso breeder and speak to them, they are incredibly knowledgeable about their specific breed, and undoubtable will have come across this at some point you may even find someone willing to home her via this route. Which would be better the having to have her put to sleep.

TabithaTittlemouse · 01/12/2022 18:46

rescue centers won't take her that's how I ended up with her she had 2 choices euthanasia or she was sold to a breeding farm

Who said that @BananaLeafs ?

sobeyondthehills · 01/12/2022 18:49

I have a reactive dog and it is exhausting and you do have to massively adapt your life even more than you thought.

I am on a facebook group, which has helped, but its slow work, and every little thing can set you back and you have to start again from scratch.

Have you had dogs before?

TrentCrimm · 01/12/2022 18:50

What does your vet advise? Have you considered meds etc?

isadoradancing123 · 01/12/2022 18:52

Have the dog put to sleep, she is no good to anyone and is a danger to society

girlmom21 · 01/12/2022 18:54

isadoradancing123 · 01/12/2022 18:52

Have the dog put to sleep, she is no good to anyone and is a danger to society

How can you possibly know that? Has she bit anyone? Hurt anyone?

Original poster
BananaLeafs · 01/12/2022 18:55

No she hasn't bit anyone or hurt anyone she is very reactive to dogs and people but has never bit that's why I want to seek avenues of help x

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 01/12/2022 18:56

BananaLeafs · 01/12/2022 18:55

No she hasn't bit anyone or hurt anyone she is very reactive to dogs and people but has never bit that's why I want to seek avenues of help x

I was posing those questions to that nasty poster.

Please do speak to Dogs Trust OP. They'll help.

Theancetocomein · 01/12/2022 18:56

girlmom21 · 01/12/2022 18:31

I think you need to speak to Dogs Trust. They have special units for dogs with more needs than normal. Take her to them, for her sake and your own.

But why? It's not like the world is screaming out for more rescue dogs esp ones with massive issues?

I'm glad there are lots of sensible posters on here saying prob best to consider pts. You've tried hard OP and I couldn't carry on like that xx

Adultchildofelderlyparents · 01/12/2022 18:57

I also recommend Southend Dog Training, they work wonders with reactive dogs. It sounds like she's had a distressing start in life and deserves to have all options tried before being written off.
There's that TV programme too, Dogs Behaving Badly. He works miracles with dogs!

girlmom21 · 01/12/2022 18:57

Because there's nothing good in putting to sleep an animal who could be rehabilitated @Theancetocomein

Original poster
BananaLeafs · 01/12/2022 18:59

She definitely could be rehabilitated, she needs a chance. I posted here for some support and just to say how I'm feeling without judgement , and to see if anyone else has a reactive dog x

OP posts:
WildOats5678 · 01/12/2022 19:00

Adultchildofelderlyparents · 01/12/2022 18:57

I also recommend Southend Dog Training, they work wonders with reactive dogs. It sounds like she's had a distressing start in life and deserves to have all options tried before being written off.
There's that TV programme too, Dogs Behaving Badly. He works miracles with dogs!

Anybody who knows anything about dogs and training would never ever recommend the guy who presents dogs behaving badly!! He uses fear and aggression to subdue a dog without getting to the route cause. Speak to any dog trainer that is actually qualified and worth their weight in gold and they tell you just how shit he is.

SirSniffsAlot · 01/12/2022 19:02

18 months old, popular breed, lots of fear behaviours but never actually bitten anyone despite them?

I'd talk to the big rescues because I suspect you've been fed a fib with 'rescues won't take her'.

If you really do get lots of rejections then find a local behaviourist and ask for an honest assesmnet of her. PTS may be an/the option but not one anyone can truly recommend for a dog they've not actually seen in real life and just have brief written details about. The dog deserves to be seen by someone in real life who can help you make that decision.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 01/12/2022 19:03

TabithaTittlemouse · 01/12/2022 18:46

rescue centers won't take her that's how I ended up with her she had 2 choices euthanasia or she was sold to a breeding farm

Who said that @BananaLeafs ?

The bastard who made her like this, probably.

BirmaBrite · 01/12/2022 19:10

Given her age and breed, I would contact the breed rescue first and see if they would be able to help, she is very young to PTS. I imagine in the right home she will turn out to be a completely different dog and that isn't a dig at you OP, at the end of the day you have saved her little belligerent arse !

PorridgePowered · 01/12/2022 19:11

Hi, firstly you are doing a great thing by fighting for this dog. Some things to consider. A) can you reach out to another behaviourist? Reactivity is fixable, or at least manageable. Before you spend any money on them, interview them, be picky who you ask to work with your dog. 2) explore bread specific removing forums. They might be more open then the charities. Again, be picky, the dog deserves it.

I dont really want to give suggestions because I don't know the dog, but have you done crate training. Having a safe space is crucial for the dog, and would give you a bit of down time.

PorridgePowered · 01/12/2022 19:12

Sorry, that should say rehoming forums

Salvia89 · 01/12/2022 19:15

Battersea takes any dog regardless of behavioural issues although there may be a waiting list. They will, however put a dog to sleep if they feel the behaviours cannot be worked upon enough to make them safe to rehome (even to a v experienced home). Her breed is in her favour though, as she is v unlikely to fall into the former category due to her size.

PorridgePowered · 01/12/2022 19:16

Also, I agree about steering clear of the Southend dog training nonsense. It's awful. But a quick shout out to Will Afferton (sp?) Videos on YouTube are worth a look to get you into the right frame of mind to work with your dog.

stayathomer · 01/12/2022 19:18

@stayathomer thank you, I hope you enjoy the time with your puppy though, I could only dream of what you have.
he’s a little dude and we’re blessed, he’s just very hyper and it’s like having a toddler in the house hence I’m very tired but he is a legend and my right arm really!!! Hope ye get sorted x