Expensive unwanted gift- what to do?

[crochetmonkey74]

I have a lovely friend who is very dear to me - but she is absolutely terrible at presents.
It was recently my birthday - and she bought me a very expensive item. It's a make up bag from a designer brand. Her sister loves this brand so my friend has hooked on the idea that this must be good. Thing is , I do not like it at all - it's not my taste and I have something nicer. I'd love to sell it on Vinted - but is that terribly offensive?

What do you guys think?

Is it really that terrible could you not just use it ? And see it as a nice gift from your friend each time you do look at it .

She's soo sensitive that you couldn't tell her? But your considering selling it on without telling her?! Surely that would upset a sensitive person?

I think it's unkind and ungrateful to sell it without her knowing. She has spent a lot of her money on a gift she thought you would like. You might come unstuck about where it went and your friend will feel really hurt.

Either find a kind way to tell her. Ask her for a gift receipt as you'v 'got your eye on something else' Or suck it up and use it.

Yeah I think this is the closest to what I am feeling about it

Thing is, I know how much it was and I have a different thing that I LOVE

But nothing sits quite right with selling it - you are right

Can’t you just keep it? If she’s sensitive and it would upset her why do anything? Surely the need to change it (or make a profit from it) isn’t that important.

Honestly this is another good reason to knock birthday gifts on the head in adulthood.

Yes I am (of course) a joyless miser!

Speak to her about it. Tell her you appreciate the gift and know it's costs her a sum. Cos she's dear to you and you'll like to use and value her gift you'll like to us it to buy something you'll use and if it's OK to send her the link so she can order it after she gets the refund.

@crochetmonkey74

It sounds like she is a lovely friend who has spent her hard earned money on a gift she thought you'd like.

It might have cost her a fortune but it was free to you. Don't worry about the monetary value of the gift. Be grateful that someone loves you enough to but you something valuable.

Suggest that she doesn't splash out so much in the future and you do a day out together going forward as you love her company etc

It’s just a make up bag, I am sure I could find a use for it. I didn’t realise it was something to be so particular over.

Well don’t sell it from an account in your name. Sell it on eBay instead much bigger. Or just give it to someone who would appreciate it for Christmas.

I really cant - like I say I am quite minimalist and have other nicer ones

It's quite stiff and a shape that wouldn't hold all my make up (curved stiff corners)
Too big for handbag etc

I'm not being difficult- it's just a size, shape and style I don't like

Yes definitely agree to this!

I actually love doing experiences more than gifts anyway

I am not going to do this - she wouldn't cope with it at the moment - but I will speak to her before next gift givings to do the shared experience thing

I do that with another friend and we enjoy it

If there's no way she'd know, then I'd do it. I'd get a friend she doesn't know to sell it on Vinted and I'd say I was saving it for best if she ever mentioned it - I doubt she will mention it, though, will she?

It was a gift - why on earth would you sell it. If it's unwanted, gift it to someone deserving.

Does she come to your house much, do you go away together, will she notice you don’t use it?

Out of curiosity, what brand is it? In my head it’s a LV one

It might not be to your taste but she's bought you an expensive, useful, designer item. She doesn't sound terrible at presents at all.
Don't throw it back in her face by saying you don't want it, especially if she's delicate at the moment. I would wait a while then sell it or re-gift it very discretely.

It is LV!

Cant you just use it for something else? I use makeup bags i am gifted for carrying my crochet hooks, scissors and stitch markers. I also craft a lot and use these bags for my pens and brushes.
Or for taking sanitary products away with me in the bottom of my bag. I have one bag I love to use but can alwayts find a use for another. I even have a couple of bags I keep in different suitcases with travel plugs and wires etc for when i travel,

Of course if you really dont have any other uses you can sell or regift it but be prepared for the day she asks about it and you have to decide if you will be honest or not

It's not useful to me though

She is generally terrible at presents - not because the presents are not nice items, or generous- more because they never quite match the person she is buying for

Can you keep it in your car boot for spare tissues, plasters, carrier, that type of thing?

Good idea. I was going to suggest pens?

This - does it matter what your make up bag looks like? Mine rarely leaves the house anyway but it's purely to contain make up, not to carry around like a hand bag. I've had plenty of make up bags/toilet bags as gift in the past that I wouldn't have chosen myself but have either used or kept/passed on to charity as raffle prizes at a later date.

But yeah, you can use a make up bag for loads of things and it never has to leave the house.

So what, if you inherited a house, let's say, you'd just give it away if it didn't suit??

If she's sensitive and you really don't want to hurt her feelings I'd keep it and if you know she's going to be seeing you do your make up just switch to that one for the evening.

If you really will not use it, keep it for a year in case she asks to see it then offer it up as a raffle prize or give to a good charity shop who will price it correctly and benefit from it.