To think the pandemic has left me totally numb?

[Footlooseandtethereddown]

Anyone else feeling like?
I am completely meh about everything, going through the motions. I was meant to be going to a concert last week which had been planned for ages and was an artist I like. At the last moment one of my dc was ill and I couldn’t go. My mum asked if I was disappointed and I realised I wasn’t. I was just totally not bothered either way.
Then I considered that some more and realised that is how I feel post pandemic. I will do what I’m supposed to do and socialise and appear ‘normal’ but actually I don’t enjoy any of it. I don’t not enjoy it either. It’s all one and the same.

It seems to now transcend to everything. Things I should be pleased about, no feeling about it. Things I should be worried / disappointed about. No feeling. It’s all very level and disconnected.

i wasn’t like this before the pandemic so I can only think it’s that?! But everyone else I know irl seems fine.

Anyone here feeling like this?
AIBU to blame the pandemic for my total indifference to almost every sphere of my life?!

I 100% feel this way. I don't know how to change it, it's a complete detachment and lack of emotion

I am feeling very stressed at the moment. I am customer facing but not retail and it's hard going. People are behaving and reacting very differently to what I was used to pre pandemic

My teens mental health is all over the place.

Both combined make it feel increasingly difficult to feel positive or looking forward

Many of my friends are feeling this way too

Im not even excited for christmas my favorite time of year
Im just going through the motions and feel "whatever" about it all
Everything is very lacklustre

Yes I know what you mean. I can't really be bothered to go out and do anything now, it doesn't seem worth the effort. I have to go out most days because of the DC.

It is strange, as I've been WFH since March 2020, but when I'm not working, I want to actually enjoy my house and relax in it. I feel quite resentful of always being at home, but not being able to do what I want to do in it.

Same here, although never thought about it before. Pre Covid I had so much energy and enthusiasm, now I can't be bothered about anything.

Is it like a Covid depression or something?

I feel like a totally different person and don’t know how to get the old me back. I have zero enthusiasm for anything, feel overwhelmed very easily, can’t remember how I managed to fit in everything pre Covid when now I can’t seem to do more than the absolute minimum before I feel overwhelmed and like there’s no time. Therefore I don’t really exercise, barely see friends, everything feels like a huge effort. There’s definitely a pre Covid me and a post Covid me.

Numbness is a side effect of trauma.

Deaths and illness /of friends and family/hospitals and other healthcare being turned upside down / lockdowns, these are all traumatising experiences.

I noticed the numbness early on in the pandemic, but silver-lining and all, it’s forced me to really confront some of my earlier traumas in an attempt at shaking off the numbness and reinvigorating myself.

I'm just the same, make arrangements and hope they get cancelled. I was always out and about, busy weekends but now I really can't be arsed. I like being at home with my own company, everything seems like an effort now 😔

I think you're right about trauma@PurpleBrocadePeacock , I lost a family member and then a friend a couple of weeks later in February 2020. Neither from Covid. My friend's funeral was cancelled, as it was just before the start of lockdown, after we'd been sent to WFH.

The following 2 years were just a complete whirlwind of homeschooling while working, worry about elderly and vulnerable family members and here we are.

I recognise this as well. Everything just feel really flat.

I felt very much like this through 2021 and it's easing off, very slowly.

Between the on/ off Covid restrictions then this year having several bereavements, a child with a couple of disruptive and concerning health issues including significantly out of control asthma for a couple of months, and a frustrating injury, it's still been really difficult to make plans and see them through with confidence. I make the plans, enjoy the things that actually come to pass, but have no sense of anticipation, just a "oh, I'm actually doing x in 12 hours, how do I do that?".

I suspect the cure is stability and rebuilding trust in life.

I suppose I should think about some Christmas shopping in the not-so-distant future. Last year I tested positive for Covid on Christmas Day so that wrote another Christmas off so we haven't had one since 2019. I'm just hoping that as December unfolds that I can rediscover some festive spirit after 3 long years.

I feel the opposite I think. Very motivated with the business I own, lots going on there. Plenty of things happening with family and friends to look forward to. I'm CEV for Covid but am just getting on with stuff and not worrying.

Happy to be past the worst of lockdown etc really. But commiserations to people left feeling flat. I think the way it affected people varied hugely and I know I was fortunate that nobody very close to me died.

I'm currently struggling to be motivated about even things I normally go ott on because I love so much.

I don't think its post covid for me. Lockdowns etc really didn't bother me.

I got really down and struggled with the first half term of the school year for the last couple of years. I got really down for no apparent reason going into the winter.

This winter feels worse. It feels drab and dull and like it's going to be a long cold winter worrying about bills and what the future will bring.

I'm struggling with being optimistic about very much at all. It's this get up, same shit every day feeling.

In a way I didn't feel through covid.

Feeling flat describes it well.

I think its more likely winter blues tbh.

Yes, I’ve had a bit of this. During covid and working in a hospital throughout I was fine as I always am during anything stressful but I definitely feel a bit in the doldrums now. I have had this before as a pp described above ive probably also resolved some traumas from the past in the last few years, strange how it all works.

I worked in essential retail throughout lock downs it has definitely affected my mental health and outlook. However it has made me stronger and more resilient in some respect. But yes I do hear what you're saying.

@noideabutstilltrying What differences are you observing when you compare customer reactions now/then? Interested to hear your thoughts about that.

It was such a shocking, frightening, vast, surreal, life changing thing for everyone and sometimes it feels disorienting that it’s been swept into the past. The other eve I went for a dog walk and the streets were deserted, it was a perfectly clear night, and suddenly I was reminded of the eerie silence and stillness of early lockdown. I felt a rush of emotion - because it was over. And I could hardly express to myself what the feeling was. A disbelief about the whole experience.

I don't think it's helped by other things going on in the world. Added on doom and gloom.

I think Covid made people lose faith in things. You might know intellectually this shit can happen. But you kind of insulate yourself from it most of the time to function.

Generally speaking, in the U.K. we live in reasonably safe conditions and so it's a shock to us. It's not like we're normally threatened with famine and earthquakes, revolution and dictatorships.

I went out for a car drive late on Saturday night through central London and was so happy to see tons of people out and about enjoying themselves. Even though it was raining.

Yes, absolutely. As a PP says, I’m slowly coming out of it. It’s definitely related to grief for me, exacerbated and/or traumatising because of the pandemic lockdowns and uncertainty over the last 2 years.

I struggle to feel joy but - and this sort of fascinates me - when I have, it’s been really pure. Equally, when I am hit with an unexpected strong emotional response to e.g. music or film it is overwhelming in a way it wasn’t before. I think it’s because that’s letting me tap into these feelings I am (unconsciously) suppressing.

I think Covid made people lose faith in things

Absolutely this.

Covid destroyed social get togethers and it doesn't feel like things have got back to normal yet.

I think I got used to things being cancelled, people being ill, that I was cautious about planning, so stayed in.

Then in the summer we started going to gigs again and my husband caught Covid after the first one, penned in to the most crowded small room. It put me off.

Also, I'm at my fattest and don't want to be seen. I blame lockdown and WFH (not my greed and laziness).

It is trivial in the scheme of things, but I realised that I have all I need at home too. We bought a bigger TV in lockdown as I missed cinema, and now I have a cinema experience at home. We bought more records and listen to music instead of gigging like we used to. I don't enjoy eating out now either and would rather eat in. We are hermits, but I consider myself lucky to have these luxuries.

For me COVID was ages ago. I have long since moved on.

I totally feel the same. For me it’s a feeling like… we had the lockdowns, and it was this whole big thing, and now it’s like life is quietly up and running again, but with no fanfare. I’ve definitely lost trust in the system, government, country, humanity, my own country, the health system, etc. And it feels like drudgery - Brexit, cost of living, the electricity crisis, inflation, the whack housing market, etc. It’s a really strange feeling.

I also wonder if maybe lockdowns resulted in many of us becoming very attached to home. I was already introverted before lockdown, and now I’m a massive homebody. I get invited to things and truly would rather be at home, under a cosy blanket, doing stuff I love from my sofa. Maybe it’s that safe space kind of feeling. Makes me wonder if those of us who were actually ok with the lockdowns are now the ones feeling strange about going back to reality. Whereas maybe people who hated lockdown are the people now going on loads of holidays and nights out and maybe they feel more connected to life and more excited by it, as a result. I’m really not sure.

That's a really interesting take @dustofneptune at the time I didn't feel any negative effects during lockdown, it gave me more time at home, more time to do things I like, but now I almost resent having to do things, I absolutely hate going into the office and commuting just feels like such a waste of time. I also feel completely flat and disinterested. I struggle to feel anything really.