To need a fucking minute...

[purpleviolet1987]

I'm a working single parent.
It doesn't stop; the school run, the commute, the work, the after school clubs, the dictatorship administration team that works at my child's school, the constant emails from said dictatorship moaning about absolutely everything you can imagine.

At the end of each day my body aches, I mean it starts in my hips, my head pounds, my back is in agony, I'm dizzy.

I don't feel sad but I don't feel happy. I feel like my mind is doing everything but my body is screaming at me to slow down.

I don't get the chance to process anything, every thought is interrupted, every letter is shoved on the 'later' pile. I'm always forgetting something, I'm getting lazier with meals.

How do you guys cope with the constant everything of everyday parenting/working life.

I just want/need a day in bed where I don't have to move a muscle except to get snacks or change the channel.

I see plenty of others coping just fine, I feel like I'm constantly unwell, I'm struggling like buggery at work pretending I'm not in pain all day.

Do it. Book AL for a school day, or even better phone in sick. Stay in bed and order whatever you like. SLEEP. Watch shit on TV.

Need something to look forward to to save your sanity. I was a lone parent OP and it is really hard sometimes. Burnout is real.

You poor thing.
Is there anyone who can help? If not can you arrange a lazy day for all of you (even clubs shut at Christmas)...television on all day, no one has to get dressed, big plates of snacks and drinks on the table? (or a visit to the park first and home to do that for the afternoon).
What is the dictatorship admin thing about?

Yes - take a duvet day.
for the next week, but ready meals/ frozen pizza/ whatever is easiest to prepare.
sometimes I massively lower standards- all fed, not dead.
ironed? No.
dusted? No.
but we survive!

This sounds very hard for you:
a few little suggestions…
is it possible to have a day or more (or half day) of annual leave so you can actually just sleep/rest.
can you try and have one weekend day where you do the best minimum even if the kids have more screens than you’d like? Perhaps plan ahead for it - take them out first thing for a walk and buy snacks/quick meals for the day. Then have a bath and lounge around. And/or go to bed when the dcs do as many nights as you can.
If finances allow can you throw any money at some of it - e.g. food delivery, babysitter for a few hours at the weekend?
have you checked for any underlying health issues e.g. anaemia that might be making you feel worse,
.try and prioritise making sure you eat and drink regularly as you really need good fuel.
cut any housework standards right back for example hoover once a week maximum, if you haven’t already.

I think you're a bloody hero. It's hard enough doing it between two parents I genuinely can't believe people can do it on their own!

As others have said you should take a day off every few weeks just for you. Take yourself into town for a coffee, go to the cinema or just lie on the sofa and do fuck all!

Have you got any family help?

Yes yes Yes. I'm not single but I feel like this - working full time with kids and no help is exhausting

Those others are probably looking at you thinking you’re coping just fine. Take whatever time you need. Before you break.

You sound amZing op. Can I ask how old you are?

I soo feel this.

I work in a school too so no chance for AL. My only holidays are when kids are also on holiday. I can't remember the last time I had to myself that wasn't the ten minute drive between kids school and my school.

Had a bit of a meltdown this evening when realised tomorrow is December and I forgot advent calendars. Have ordered some off Amazon to be delivered tomorrow. There is just too much.

Sorry this reply isn't helpful but I'll be reading the thread!

All the best and positivity

Forced daytime bedrest for 1-2 days, either ‘sick’ or AL. I wouldn’t even feel bad about it as you’re going to actually make yourself really sick if you don’t.

Easy teas/breakfasts for a couple of days, let em watch loads of TV - whatever means you do the least possible. Some people I know do this but clean/sort admin as that makes them less stressed. Whatever gets you through.

I’d echo what others have said as well about it being so much more this time of year.
several major retailers in my area have very few turkeys left to pre-order
FFS it’s November…we’ve got nearly another month of this unbearable ridiculous build up.

How many kids do you have?

Same. I just ignore alot of the school shit and all the money they ask for.

3 sick days, starting from Weds so you then go into the weekend.There’s a nasty sore throat and cough virus going round so perfect timing.

I'm 30 for those asking :) feel a lot older though.

I work in a school too so don't get AL, people think I'm lucky to have half term off but I still have to be a parent so it's not really a rest, I get to the stage of wanting to go back to work! I actually consider the hours im at work to be my break, then mum mode as soon as im home!
I had a sick day a couple of weeks ago as literally just drove myself into the ground.
It's really difficult isn't it, so many demands from so many different angles and you kind of feel stuck in the middle and wanting to scream.

I remember the days when I worked pre-motherhood. I would spend a good hour on my face in the morning, when I got home I would chill with a glass of wine and switch off completely. Haha.

Can the kids go to daycare,nursery or a club for a day in the holidays?
I used to teach and I remember the holidays being anything but.

As someone else suggested OP, go sick on a Wednesday, then it doesn't look like you just want a long weekend, and don't go back until maybe the following Tuesday. Don't just take one day, it doesn't sound like it will be enough. I think if you're at the stage you seem to indicate, you really need several days of doing the absolute minimum, and resting as much as possible, so that you can begin to feel human again. Hope you get a proper rest SOON!

I'm 100% feeling the burnout and have done for the last month or so. I work FT, had 2 weeks off this year so far. Been studying for an exam that I failed this week. School have their hand out for helpers and money. We're living in a reno so have mountains of shit to do on our "time off". Still have loads to do for Xmas etc.
I'm tired all day and falling asleep at 6pm, waking at 5am still tired.

I have some time off over Xmas which I'm really looking forward to but that might be swallowed up with studying and decorating.

You sound burnt out, but the pain and aching doesn’t sound normal. Could there be something medical going on there?

You’ve articulated it exactly. I just feel snowed under, weighed down, constantly behind. I work a 0hrs contract, no chance of AL as I need all my days to cover Christmas and still have a random day I’ll have to take unpaid (and who can afford that at christmas!) due to childcare closure but business being open. It’s so fucking incessant.

It might be hard, and I know how hard it is because I've been there myself, but I would rather do it on my own than with someone who was holding me back. A man who will sit there and let you do all the work will make your life so much harder than being on your own.

OP as others have said the burnout is real!
Book kids into a holiday camp for one day every holiday and have that day to yourself!!
hugs to you!

What age are your children? Do you have any family or friends who could help you. If I had a friend or family member who was a single mum I'd be more than happy to take them for the day or night at the weekends every so often to give you a bit of a break.

This time of year likely makes it seem even worse as there's so much to remember to get and to do. I wouldn't feel guilty about getting lazy with dinners. If the kids are fed and happy who cares if some nights they have cheesy beans on toast or pizza or whatever. Just do what you ccan and go easy on yourself you're doing great.

No advice to offer here, I can only relate. It’s relentless isn’t it.