Page 3 | Is BIL Being Unreasonable?

LindyHopathon · 2022-11-30T18:15:50+00:00

NC for this. BIL is always asking DH and me for money. Over the last two years we've given him £2,500. He gets behind with his payments to utility companies, then makes no effort to stick to payment plans. Today, he asked for a further £200 for his broadband, which he says he has not paid since June. I wish he'd mentioned it in June, so that there wasn't now a load of interest and charges on top of the original bill. Would I BU not to give him the £200? I know quite well that he will never be able to pay us back (for any of it, not just the £200). BIL has a lot of genuine health conditions and his sole source of income is state benefits. I feel so mean to be even considering not helping him out this time.

CoedenNadoligLanOHyd · 13/02/2023 12:36

I would ask him to let you check his finances. And then make sure he is getting everything he's entitled to.

Reduced water rates as he's on benefits.
Social tariff for broadband.
Apply to the energy providers hardship fund if he gets into arrears.

Is he getting the correct rates of benefit- citizens advice can check and apply to make changes. I'd he can't manage his finances, then this needs to be reflected in the points on his claim.

Make sure rent goes direct to landlord.

Find a local money advice service (Christian's against poverty, Community Money Advice etc) that can help with budgeting.

Check if utilities can be paid directly from benefits (water, gas, electricity).

Apply for a Scottish Welfare Fund crisis grant for a payment if appropriate.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 14/02/2023 13:48

I agree with previous posters that broadband is a necessity when claiming benefits and maybe he should prioritise that, but constantly borrowing money from family isn’t making ends meet, and isn’t sustainable. And there appears to be a pattern of waiting for debt to build up before asking for money, so there will be little or no prospect of him being able to repay it. OP, as hard as it is, I think you have to start learning to say no.

There’s another angle to this too, and one which you may not have thought about.

While ADP/PIP are not means tested, housing benefit definitely is, and ESA may well be too if BIL is claiming the income related component. He is therefore obliged to declare any other income, and the money you are giving him would qualify as that. You also mentioned that you transfer the money to him via internet banking and DWP periodically ask for bank statements from claimants who are on means tested benefits, so they can check on declared income. So if he’s not declaring what you give him to DWP or housing benefits, there’s a good chance that BIL could find himself under investigation for benefit fraud if they find out - and you would be implicated.

I would look into getting him some help with budgeting and looking into how his finances could be better worked out so he doesn’t keep getting into debt.
I would also maybe contact a benefit adviser at CAB or similar, to find out if he’s getting everything he’s entitled to regarding benefits, and to check what the likely consequences are if he hasn’t declared the income from yourselves.

LookItsMeAgain · 14/02/2023 14:03

Nope. If he can't repay what you've already loaned < cough cough > given him <cough cough> , then he is a money pit. You give him money you'll never see it again.

Do you have children @LindyHopathon? Because if you give money to their uncle, then you are possibly taking it from their activity money (as in money to pay towards activities they do) or taking it from their holiday fund or something else that they would like to do.

If you have no children and you have no objection to handing over money that you will never see again, then rock on and it won't matter what we say here.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 14/02/2023 14:50

DotAndCarryOne2 · 14/02/2023 13:48

I agree with previous posters that broadband is a necessity when claiming benefits and maybe he should prioritise that, but constantly borrowing money from family isn’t making ends meet, and isn’t sustainable. And there appears to be a pattern of waiting for debt to build up before asking for money, so there will be little or no prospect of him being able to repay it. OP, as hard as it is, I think you have to start learning to say no.

There’s another angle to this too, and one which you may not have thought about.

While ADP/PIP are not means tested, housing benefit definitely is, and ESA may well be too if BIL is claiming the income related component. He is therefore obliged to declare any other income, and the money you are giving him would qualify as that. You also mentioned that you transfer the money to him via internet banking and DWP periodically ask for bank statements from claimants who are on means tested benefits, so they can check on declared income. So if he’s not declaring what you give him to DWP or housing benefits, there’s a good chance that BIL could find himself under investigation for benefit fraud if they find out - and you would be implicated.

I would look into getting him some help with budgeting and looking into how his finances could be better worked out so he doesn’t keep getting into debt.
I would also maybe contact a benefit adviser at CAB or similar, to find out if he’s getting everything he’s entitled to regarding benefits, and to check what the likely consequences are if he hasn’t declared the income from yourselves.

Sorry, posted too soon. Meant to say that the money you have given him will not necessarily mean a reduction in benefit if DWP consider it a gift from family - these are permitted even when in receipt of means tested benefits. The problem arises when the claimant doesn’t declare them. £2500 in payments directly into BIL’s bank regularly over time, would flag up undeclared income to DWP and could possibly trigger a fraud investigation. After a change in legislation DWP can also now collect information directly from banks without the claimants’ permission, so better to declare these sums and check that they can be considered cash gifts.