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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’d covid hadn’t happened…

114 replies

Mancity126 · 29/11/2022 20:49

Personally and for the world life would be so different I genuinely can’t comprehend. For me personally, I would still be in my old job, still have certain friends, my kids MH (and mine for that matter would be a lot better. That being said it’s certainly also had some positive impacts on my life, for example I started a side business which I absolutely love and it’s enabled me to get a much better work life balance. On a global level trump would likely still be president and Boris Johnson still our PM. The most stark impact is definitely on my kids but all areas of life have been so impacted and it feels like the world has been fundamentally been changed. What ways would your life be different if covid hadn’t happened?

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 29/11/2022 20:51

Off the top of my head.. I would have more friends (still so many happy in their family only bubbles), and better mental health.

BCBird · 29/11/2022 20:54

I would be enjoying my part-time status by choice. My partner and I.would not have been.separated due to restrictions,I would not be suffering from.Covid fear, and I.would be the old me. I.lost myself .

girlmom21 · 29/11/2022 20:54

I'd be at a job I didn't love with DD1 in a nursery that wouldn't have been as the one she's in now. We wouldn't have moved to our lovely new house.

illiterato · 29/11/2022 20:56

I’d probably still live in Hong Kong.

bloodywhitecat · 29/11/2022 20:57

DH's tumour would've been found earlier and I might not have been widowed.

Overthebow · 29/11/2022 20:57

I would have had a proper maternity leave and would have enjoyed my DCs first year. But I also wouldn't have moved into my new bigger house (we decided on a bigger house as needed working from home space), and I also wouldn't have had so many opportunities at work, as work are now prioritising those who can be bothered to go back into the office for part of the week. So good and bad things.

bonnielochs · 29/11/2022 20:58

I'd be thinner because I would still be going into the office for work and not snacking at home for 8 hours a day

MolesOnPoles · 29/11/2022 20:59

Right now, life would be tougher as both DH and I WFH a lot which was never the culture before covid, and makes family life much easier.

But I was on Mat leave for all of 2020, which was utterly awful, and I’m still not Truly mentally recovered from.

daisybrown37 · 29/11/2022 21:02

I would have had to change job anyway due to redundancy unrelated to covid, but might not have jumped into a role I was offered at the start
of the first lockdown that turned out to be a mistake. This mistake helped me get my current role, which fits family life well. My husband would still be office based rather than home working 4 days per week.

My youngest may have got his diagnosis quicker and may have had less anxiety.

Tomanyhandbags · 29/11/2022 21:03

I'd still be a wife and not a widow

Simonjt · 29/11/2022 21:11

My son would have likely had to leave school for the rest of the school year (I should have really delayed him starting school).

I’m not sure where our relationship would be, my husband ended up spending two weeks at our flat as we had covid symptoms so he couldn’t go back home, those two weeks worked well despite literally living in each others pockets, and he essentially never returned home. So without covid things would have likely moved a bit slower. He wouldn’t have been made redundant, which was particularly difficult as he had to find an employer who would take him on at an awkward stage of his studies.

We were extremely lucky that lockdown wasn’t cruel to us.

Quackpot · 29/11/2022 21:11

Honestly, I feel I've benefitted from it. And I know that's a horrible thing to say considering it's been horrific for most people, and it brought sadness to all our doors, but my life, generally, has improved.

  1. I had a solid reason to leave a very toxic work environment.
  2. DH was furloughed for a long time, our family life flourished, we had time to reset and focus our priorities.
  3. My children got a huge amount of 121 parent and child time with each of us, which we couldn't give before and the personal growth we saw in them during this time was immense.
  4. We, as a family, got fitter.
  5. I was able to distance myself from people who have had an emotional hold over me for a very long time. This person not being there because of mixing restrictions was such a relief. I haven't had to formally end the friendship, the drift has been enough and it feels so freeing.
  6. We learned to appreciate our own area so much more

We have, of course, felt the hardship too, but, for me, the positives outweigh the negatives.
DD with SEN missed out on important transition to secondary school, missed out on a residential trip of a lifetime, and both kids suffered with their social lives changing. We lost my grandparents. My disabled relative needed far more care than usual. Our social circle has shrunk significantly. But most of these things resulted in positives. The 121 support I was able to give my children meant that when they went back to school, they were ahead, not behind. They learned to socialise in other ways, growing strong ICT skills through communicating online. I am now much closer to my disabled relative than ever before. I spend less at Christmas because I'm not buying for people I feel I have to, just because I've known them a long time. My boundaries are stronger.

Oblomov22 · 29/11/2022 21:13

Fortunately hasn't affected us very much. People definitely seem more miserable and bleak generally now though.

VikingLady · 29/11/2022 21:19

DCs would have been more socially able, but poorer mental health. We always home educated, but we used to go to at least five meet ups per week, and my DCs can't get the hang of talking through technology. But the time away from other people really made them happier and calmer.

I'd not have lost contact with a few people. I think that's it really.

catscatscurrantscurrants · 29/11/2022 21:20

I would still have a job and my sanity.

BCBird · 29/11/2022 21:24

My thoughts go out to all of you who have lost someone precious.

JustDanceAddict · 29/11/2022 21:26

Would’ve kept up certain friendships.
kids’ MH would be ok, maybe they’d be on different uni pathways now.
My physical and mental health would be better.

SocksAndTheCity · 29/11/2022 21:31

I would still have some savings, or at least some kind of cushion in case something went badly wrong. I spent every penny I had on rent when my sector wasn't working for months (self employed/freelance so no furlough).

I'm ticking over fine, but I live in constant fear of being ill or injured somehow and not being able to work because there's literally nothing left.

LynLynette · 29/11/2022 21:34

We wouldn’t have been able to buy our first house.
Dp wouldn’t have got to spend so much time with dd (who was six months old when the first lockdown began) if he hadn’t been wfh.
I was suffering from pnd at the time and he wouldn’t have been there to help me either. I don’t know how I would have coped on my own.
But on the other hand, my depression had just started to improve, things were looking up, then Covid happened, it was like a nightmare.
I’d had major depressive episodes before. During Covid it was different, like it was outside of myself as well as inside.
I know I’ll never be the same after that episode. I’m a lot better now but I just see the world differently.

TheHateIsNotGood · 29/11/2022 21:34

If, if, if ...... who can say......covid, illness, war and more, life is a constant if....anything can happen to any of us at any time, usually it doesn't thankfully else we'd all live in constant doom wishing an early death on ourselves.

Covid was a collective experience so not ultimately borne alone although the act of dying might have been. If only......it had never happened...but it did.

Waitingfordecember · 29/11/2022 21:36

I probably wouldn’t have my little boy and DH would still be commuting to work, instead of WFH full time.

Overall I was very lucky. That doesn’t take away from the bad effects covid had on other people though.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 29/11/2022 21:37

Oblomov22 · 29/11/2022 21:13

Fortunately hasn't affected us very much. People definitely seem more miserable and bleak generally now though.

Agree entirely. We are fine, but the whole nation seems subdued and grey.

Justtheonethanks9099 · 29/11/2022 21:43

Overthebow · 29/11/2022 20:57

I would have had a proper maternity leave and would have enjoyed my DCs first year. But I also wouldn't have moved into my new bigger house (we decided on a bigger house as needed working from home space), and I also wouldn't have had so many opportunities at work, as work are now prioritising those who can be bothered to go back into the office for part of the week. So good and bad things.

Your last point is very interesting and something I discussed with my boss recently. He is not a huge fan of his staff WFH (thinks 1 day/week ok, but no more) and we agreed that those WFH several days/week would become invisible (dispensable?) in the work place, especially younger workers who could be overlooked for promotion.

GreenLunchBox · 29/11/2022 21:47

Interested to know why you think Bozo and Trump would still be in power

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 29/11/2022 21:50

I probably still wouldn't have a clue what Zoom was, so I would still be going to my weekly pilates session in the village hall instead of doing it in the comfort of my living room. I also wouldn't have swapped zoom church login details with my friend in the USA. She wouldn't be a regular at my local church evening service now and I wouldn't be joining her church's morning service on my Sunday afternoons. She now has a group of new English friends and I have a group of new American friends from our chats after the services.