I’d covid hadn’t happened…

[Mancity126]

Personally and for the world life would be so different I genuinely can’t comprehend. For me personally, I would still be in my old job, still have certain friends, my kids MH (and mine for that matter would be a lot better. That being said it’s certainly also had some positive impacts on my life, for example I started a side business which I absolutely love and it’s enabled me to get a much better work life balance. On a global level trump would likely still be president and Boris Johnson still our PM. The most stark impact is definitely on my kids but all areas of life have been so impacted and it feels like the world has been fundamentally been changed. What ways would your life be different if covid hadn’t happened?

Not much change apart from work would still be more office based with the odd day from home, whereas I am now more from home with the 1 to 2 days in the office each week.

I am very lucky obviously and my sympathy is with those who have lost people 😞

I’d be commuting across London to do a job I am now doing from home. My kids would be in breakfast and after school club each day, costing more and only home to east, sleep and go again. I’ve been very fortunate and it’s changed our lives for the better.

That's happened with my children's surviving grandma. She's lost interest in them completely since 2020. She just hasn't had the energy to pick up to where she was at previously and her whole cohort of (surviving) friends has scaled back.

Their other granny died this year. We last sucessfully travelled to see her in Oct 2019. She aged rapidly in 2020 and lockdown and neglect of essential regular healthcare took their toll. We tried to see her in 2021 (nearly had it cancelled by temporary travel restrictions but they ended with a week to go), but only DH could enter the hospital/ care setting, not a family group. From then, her health was too fragile and continually switching from hospital/ care settings to make family arrangements to travel and see her. Her form of cancer made her very suceptible to any form of illness by the end, so the cold/ flu season was of high risk for planning visits.
Her last 2 years were pretty miserable and in the final year, all interest in life faded away. The only benefit of her living into 2022 was being able to travel for her funeral and have the full scale funeral that she wanted.

The toll of lockdown on the people it was supposed to protect was harsh and often life-ruining itself.
Plus the toll of health care delays.

I would be more highly thought of at work, due to better mental health. I started a new role a month before lockdown and totally floundered working from home and feeling unsupported. My levels of anxiety skyrocketed.

I would also probably not have made peace with my sexuality.

I would have lost touch with a few friends that I reconnected with over lockdown.

But mainly the work thing. I feel like I’ve been labelled ‘rubbish’ by senior people and this first impression became entrenched over the two Covid years. If Covid hadn't happened I would have found my feet quickly and flown. I feel quite sorrowful about it.

Lockdown was possibly the best thing that happened for us looking back - we were unbelievably fortunate. DH role at work changed significantly and he wfh which meant he got to spend more time with DD than he would have normally. This altered the family dynamic and having him at home more meant we didn't have to rely on external childcare whilst I built up my business. There were more opportunities available for my job and business due to lockdowns/covid and we had a lot more of a chance to refocus on what was important rather than being on a never ending treadmill. I feel nostalgic for those days (obviously not the anxiety and worry) but the slower pace and lack of obligations to go places

I wouldn't have ptsd from working in icu during Covid with so many dying a day that the morgue asked us to stop taking the dead down until they sorted out a freezer in the car park.

Living in a hotel away from my family in case I killed them.

Holding iPads up to dying patients so their family could say goodbye whilst not being able to hear my voice because of the masks.

I'll never be the same

Snap

DH would be at the office every day instead of three days a week, and he wouldn't have such a close relationship with DD, which was always good but far more after two years of exclusively wfh.

Apart from that, not much else would be different. Nobody I know has been affected much in terms of their health, DD was in nursery for much of the time so wasn't too affected, and there was no difference to my job (except having the benefit of furlough and a bounce back loan). On the surface everything is going as it was on track to be - DD started primary school this year, we've had a second baby, we're moving house soon, DH is in the same job and business is going well.

I took a break from social media at the start of first lockdown and haven't been back. That's improved my MH, and my focus remains on my immediate household, I don't make much effort with more distant family or friendships.

So sorry 😢

There are such sad stories in this thread.

Covid lockdowns etc triggered something in me that brought a lot of previous anxiety and childhood traumas to the surface. I have spent the last few years processing and working to heal myself.
So if covid never happened

I would still have my toxic mother in my life (not dead, just NC)

I would still have no friends or support other than my husband

I would still be working in a job that I hate and causes so much of the anxiety

We wouldn't have had our third child, a precious daughter who everyday is helping me repair the wounds cause by my own mother-daughter relationship

We wouldn’t have a dog and dh wouldn’t work from home and be able to be present for dc (secondary school age) enabling me to progress in my career and start my masters. I’d have more friends but I’m not sure they’re genuine so not sure that would be a good thing.

By not paying for cm and after school clubs etc we saved quite a bit which enabled us to get a whole new kitchen.

Would probably still be working, would probably not be too unwell to work now.
I lost pretty much everything I held dear as a result of covid - nothing financial really - but my physical health, my sanity, work, hobbies, friendships, relationships. Mostly my mental health though.

My dd would possibly have chosen a different life path. She seems content enough though.

I wouldn’t have realised that health was more important than money and a 70 hour week was not a good use of my time.

Workplaces that prioritise those that are in 100% are outdated IMO.

I changed jobs during covid and we have a mix of wfh and being at home. It’s not stopped me getting interviews and hasn’t stopped people getting promoted.

Covid made me realise that there’s more to life than work and has shifted the balance back towards more life than work.

I think the problem with covid is that our government handled it so badly and I don’t think many of us quite grasp it or have fully appreciated it. The shit with delayed lockdowns, shutting down schools while you could still go to the pub, lack of clean air mitigations when it was known to be airborne in 2020 for fucks sake.

Other countries handled it much better, we had a shit end of the stick with Boris Johnson and his cabal in charge who didn’t bother reaching out to other countries who’d dealt with SARS before.

Trump and Johnson, imo, would both have gone, regardless.

Personally, I am catastrophically worse off.
My father and I had a falling out (totally his fault) just prior to covid. In a fit of pique, he cut me out of his will. I believe we would have made amends in time. But he died. Whilst I don't wish to sound merely mercenary, the money would have salvaged my ability to buy a small home after the separation from my children's father (covid was probably just a catalyst for us separating, rather than total cause). I have since haemorrhaged my equity on rent, and am now very very stuck renting a tiny flat that really is too small for my children and I to thrive. The stress is immense, and I have had several stress-related health issues. At my age, with no deposit, I won't get a mortgage again. This obviously impacts my ability to give my children any assistance when it comes for their time to leave the nest as I am living paycheck to paycheck, and on benefits. As for the loss of my father aside from the money issue, he was not really a good person, but he was still my father, and he died with us not being on speaking terms.

My mother would be alive, I would have seen my best friend get married in Thailand, I wouldn’t have put on 3 stone, my mh wouldn’t have taken a nose-dive and nearly tanked my career.

Id have been more likely (although not gteed) to have met someone new and be in a relationship. My life has stalled more than anything from covid. I had a good rhythm going with my job and co-parenting amicably. I since have had another child - with the father running as soon as the test was positive, so I don’t know what /how that may have been different but I do not regret my second born at all, if anything he’s lightened up the last few years for me. I just wish so much that it hadn’t taken so much from me that I cannot change, replace or recover from.

I would still be in a job I disliked. I got made redundant and am now semi retired. No complaints from me job wise.

I was just beginning to take steps becoming more sociable and making friends which is a struggle with ASD. Then it all stopped.

Seems much harder now. I’m very glad for those who have discovered they enjoy spending time at home, but it is more isolating for people without partner or children family/family that live far away or already with a group of friends.

I would not have lost a dear friend. She died from Covid.
My son would have had a normal last 2 years of High School. I'm in the US and the last 2 years of school are full of so much fun activities which were almost all were canceled. He also would have had 2 full years with Chef learning the Culinary Trade instead of so much of it being "online learning".

BUT there were plenty of positives to come from it.
When my son graduated things were just coming back to normal. So many restaurants were begging for help so he quickly got a great job in a really good restaurant that treats its employees so good (that does not happen a lot in the restaurant business around here).
My oldest son started FaceTiming daily and we became much closer because of it.
I made an amazing friend. When it all first started and no one was going anywhere I knew one of my coworkers lived alone. I felt bad for her so started messaging her to give her someone to talk to. We quickly clicked and are now the best of friends.
DH and I never had to worry about your jobs through it all. I work for a School and he works in a Grocery Store. Our jobs stayed secure through out so no anxiety about that.

I am so sorry

Big issue like COVID will always have bad and good effects.. changing the status quo will bring up good things..

It was good for us in many ways.
For the UK not great

I'd still be healthy, heading to the gym, not crippled by 3 bouts of covid that destroyed my body.

DP would have still been in his shitty job if not thrown under the bus by his dodgy boss to cover up their wrongdoing, so wouldn't have got several thousand pounds as settlement. He wouldn't have got the job he has now, as his predecessor wouldn't have left.

I might have progressed a little higher more quickly. Or I'd have jacked it in as the most difficult people wouldn't have opted to leave rather than return.

I wouldn't have heard tawny owls in the hedge opposite my bedroom window in the town centre. They'd have never flown this far in normal conditions. Or heard birdsong all day.

My journey time wouldn't have reduced by an hour due to fewer cars on the road with people still working from home.

I wouldn't have been fast tracked to a new biologic.

I'd still be claustrophic when indoors for more than a couple of hours.

We might have seen DP's grandma whilst she still remembered him. We would have seen more of his family and travelled more, working on festivals and gigs.

I wouldn't have discovered just how much I hate Teams and actually prefer getting up, travelling to work and seeing actual human beings.

I wouldn't have spent months gasping for breath and my heart feeling like it was about to burst, then having to learn to go outside again and develop the physical strength to do so. And might not have persuaded DP to go for a run with me in 2021 that led him to become the fittest and strongest he's ever been.

But that's what happens. Life happens, time happens, good things and bad. We can't know what the future brings and we can't know exactly what would have happened had this fizzled out like SARS did.

My Dad died from covid right at the very beginning of lockdown.

I was fortunate enough to be allowed to say goodbye before they turned off his life support but one of my most upsetting memories was of 2 ICU nurses in full PPE "suiting me up" as I entered the ICU. I remember thinking, these nurses have to do this EVERY DAY and my heart broke a little for them.

So a hug for you @HollyJollyNovember and thank you for all you did x