Would it be cheating if

[Bosebeau]

If decided to leave DH. I’ve told him I can’t go on with the way things are. I really want to start a family and he doesn’t. We haven’t been intimate in 5 years and I’m so unhappy.

He wants us to stay together until at least after Christmas and then see how I feel, I just want to move on with my life. I want to try online dating, I feel I’ve wasted so much of my life on the wrong man, would I be in the wrong to start dating or do I need to wait until we’ve officially split?

have you read the OP updates? It sounds like she isn’t desperate to meet someone bed having a baby- more like she wants some fun and to feel desired before she goes it alone to have a baby by herself.

@Jimmini OP has said that as soon as she’s out of the relationship she’s going to start fertility treatment - that sounds desperate for a baby to me.

Someone who is desperate for a baby and affection is a recipe for disaster on OLD.

OLD is already like a pride of lions waiting to pounce on anyone that seems vulnerable and OP is like a baby gazelle with broken legs 😂

Unfortunately some men can smell vulnerability and take full advantage of it so I am concerned for OP and think she needs to officially separate, move out and come to terms with it properly and then do it.
Not do it now when she’s so lonely, desperate for a baby and still living with her unaffectionate husband.

I can also imagine the outrage if a man was on OLD but still living with his wife.
MN can be very biased.

I just wondered if it were ok whilst I was trying to get out of this if I could date a little.

Sorry OP but this is such a strange question.

If you want to date, then go out and date! Of course you can. You just need to tell your H that it is over and you will be dating. Make it clear. 100% clear to him.

You say you want him to move out? Unfortunately, you can’t just kick him out. I don’t blame him if he wants to wait until after Christmas to get anything sorted with the house.

If you’re that desperate to go and date and have one night stands/flings your better off booking hotel rooms, Air BnBs or temporarily moving out. You can’t have everything your way.

I don't even think it's cheating when you're still together but one part decides not to be intimate for a very long time. Nobody owes their partner celibacy.

Is there a rule with fertility clinics that married women need their husband's permission to get treatment? If not, then just go ahead and start that. At 41, you really don't have time for a long-drawn-out separation.