To worry that my ex will be able to take my daughter away?

[happylittletree]

I had to leave him due to financial and emotional abuse.

We agreed a child visitation schedule via settlement less than two years ago. It was the schedule he wanted.

He is driven only by money and he wants to reduce maintenance as his top priority.

He now has a girlfriend who will look after our daughter, so he wants to have her more often.

He has gotten the girlfriend pregnant. He's now threatening to take me to court to get more contact, on the basis that my daughter needs to have strong relationships with her "stepsister" and future sibling.

He says that courts love it when fathers want to be more involved and the court will let him have his way. He also will push for 50% contact so he doesn't have to pay any maintenance.

Will this argument win?

What @Puppers said here: "Children aren't stupid and they know when their parent is reliable/loving/supportive/safe and when they're not. My abusive father used to dismiss my fear and dislike of him as being driven by my mum, just as you're dismissing OP's daughter's feelings. The fact that OP has a negative opinion of her ex doesn't mean that her DD can't also form her own independent opinions that happen to be the same. After all, they are both dealing with the same man."

Agree with this I know the money would be hard to loose but it looks like you might have to give up something here, if it comes down to the wire it's either your daughter or the money.

50/50 isn't always in the best interest of the child. Especially where the child has expressed an unwillingness for this to happen. Forcing it will cause her more anxiety and ironically worsen any relationship they already have with the non resident parent. 50/50 only works really well in situations where there has always been an equal split in parenting - which is why it is so prevalent in scandi countries where they have better paternity employment right and more shared parenting within marriage.

Most courts have a duty now to listen to the voice of the child and take her opinions into account along with any developmental issues and attachment patterns. This doesn't mean they always do this.

You need to get a grip. He's her father, and like it or not he's entitled to have her 50% of the time, and will more than likely be granted it. If you can't afford life without his maintenance payments then that's a you problem.

@ThreeblackCats sorry. The incident was so upsetting. I had tried to have my daughter's best interests in mind and said that they could take some of the gifts, but this wasn't enough. They were so mean and intimidating. They physically surrounded me and the girlfriend was saying horrible things as well as my ex. They are both so certain that they are right. I wanted to try out his arguments and see if anyone was sympathetic