As a background, my dad has always told me he was bisexual. He has had both male and female relationships during his life, but since 1985 had been with my mum. Sadly she passed away from cancer last year after a short battle with the disease. They were happy, but dad had periods of time in prison for fraud, obtaining funds by deception etc. The last time he was in prison was in 2015 for 6 months. He missed his own 70th, my DS1s 1st and my 30th. I was also aware that my dad was messaging men explicit messages while with my mum because on occasion he would accidentally send them to me.
My mum passed away in October 2021 and in january of this year dad declared he had met someone; a 28 year old young man that he'd bumped into in a hotel and they'd got chatting. Things seemed to escalate quickly, with the chap visiting my dad's home and staying for periods of time. Whereas my dad had said my children and I couldn't sit in my mums chair, this chap could which upset me. They went out for lots of dinners etc but he assured me that they were splitting bills and that actually his new partner was from a wealthy background studying a PhD so had no need to gold dig. A couple of months in, dad told me that his partner had asked him to move up to Manchester to be with him. I suggested this wasn't a good idea, he'd be far away from all friends and family. He told me that he wouldn't, then said he was using some money from my mums estate to buy the house he was in so that we could inherit it when the time came. A month later my dad called me begging for money saying that he needed it for a house exchange in Manchester. I refused. I had no money to offer and I didn't approve of him moving up there. He told me that the relationship had then ended because of that. A few weeks later dad called saying he was getting death threats etc from a man he owed money to. I had calls from neighbours and strangers (I live 3 hrs from dad) saying he owed them money, that he'd taken deposits from people for them to move into the house only for him to then disappear etc. I then found out he hadn't bought the house he was in at all. He's spent all of my mums estate (nearly £600k) and the remainder in shares he can't release. He's spent savings my mum had built up for my children, he's also spent a house deposit mum had left to me. He stole money from my uncle (my mums brother) including off of bank cards, credit cards etc while he was in hospital and my uncle has since died. My cousins now hate my dad and have cut him off. I have now found that the partner was an escort. Dad tells me he never met him as an escort but during the time they were together this guy would msg him asking for money and dad would give it, selling and stealing whatever he could. It also transpires the guy was 20,not 28. My dad is 77.
I am the only person my dad has left. I feel guilty because I don't want him with us at Christmas as I hate him for what he's done. He's my dad and I love him but he's driven a truck through my mums memory and made a mess of our lives. Do I invite him for Christmas? Or do i stick to my guns. AIBU?