"You'd be 20/20 if you had fashion sense"

[Bonnie93]

Talking to bf of one year. He said "the thing with you is you have no fashion sense... we need to work on getting you one... because your a 10 out of 10 but if you had a sense of fashion you'd be 20 out of 20"
I literally didn't know what to say so just said a long sarcastic okayyyyyy.
He replied "you know you don't so don't be all moody about it".

We are both 30. I typicaly dress casually, no designer brands (he is quite into designer gear) and tend to wear neutral/dark colours).
I experienced coercive control and violence in last relationship and one of the things they liked to control was what I wore (they said I dressed boring and wanted me to dress more revealing). Starting to feel like I'm heading down the same road again.

Would I be unreasonable to walk away now?

10 out of 10 is the same as 20 out of 20.

This man is too stupid to talk to, be in a relationship with, and fgs don't breed with him.

When I first told him he did throw me of by saying he'd like to hear my exes version of events

Errrr what? He would take the words of a random man he'd never met over his date?

The 10/10 20/20 thing is shit but that ^ should have been enough to get rid I'm afraid. What a tool he is.

When I first told him he did throw me of by saying he'd like to hear my exes version of events

The fact that wasn’t a clear red flag indicates that you might need to work on yourself and your boundaries before entering into any future relationships.

He sounds horrible (also a bit thick?)

Bin.

What type of things does he want you to wear?

yes he knows about the past. When I first told him he did throw me of by saying he'd like to hear my exes version of events.

Fucking hell. What a charmer.

I’m not an LTB kind of girl but this guy is flying red flags from every turret in town I’m afraid 😢.

Wearing labels doesn’t mean you dress well anyway, there’s a difference between just wearing brands and having style. Anyone who believes otherwise is a fashion victim.
I would reconsider if this is who you want to be with.

Just get rid.

I'd have dumped him for that comment alone

He sounds like a moron and quite shallow but neither of those would make me burn a one year relationship.

If this were the only thing he'd ever done wrong, I'm sure you'd just tell him not to be a dick and it wouldn't be a big deal.

I wonder why you didn't feel you could say that and what else is unsatisfactory that you leap to it being over?

Also meant to add, you deserve way better, please believe it. Sounds like your values are very different.

@Outofnowhere colourful branded items I believe.
I've been there and done dressing in what a man wants me to wear and the expense of my own comfortability and values. its a horrible feeling especially when you realise it doesnt make a difference to the way they view you.

Yes to dumping him, no to this reason.

You are more than enough. You were clearly attractive enough in your chosen state for him to approach and date you, but even without that, you are enough. You are not required to titivate yourself to achieve some idiot’s specific version of ‘pretty’.

Not being ‘enough’ for him is not the reason you end it. You end it because he is stupid, vapid, and disrespectful. You deserve better than the village idiot in designer gear.

What he said about wanting to hear your ex's version of events shocked me.
That, with the asinine comments he made about your dress sense and 20/20 would make me seriously reassess if I were in your shoes.
It doesn't bode well for the future.

My oh had no fashion sense, I told him. He looks so handsome when he wears things that suit him. What’s the big deal.

My advice is get out now. Text him to tell him you are breaking up. Block him and don’t give him a second thought.

Don’t waste any more time thinking about it - get out fast.

Also wear what you like and walk away from
anyone who wants to hear your ex’s version of events.

So he is superficial, negging and his reaction to you sharing your history of an abusive relationship is to doubt you? Enough red flags for a communist party rally, I’m afraid.

Run

He’s negging

run away very fast

How unpleasant.
he's absolutely right about one thing tho - you're 10/10 AND 20/20 already.
You deserve better

Leave him. It's so easy to get caught up in cycles. Have you done the Freedom Programme?

Reading your posts, I just want to give you a big hug.

Don't let anyone push you around, tell you what to do, what to be, what to wear. You do you.

He needs to dress himself and literally that's all, if he doesn't like what you wear, he can either put up with it or leave. He needs to learn that you can't change people to suit yourself, there are plenty of people on the planet, he can find one who dresses how he likes if that's so important to him.