Reassure me I’d have been called if DC wasn't ok on Camp?

[FirstCampDC]

DC on their first camp with scouts. They’re 8.

They have some SN but absolutely love Scouts, are invested and absolutely love all the activities. I was against them going I didn’t think they were ready but DC wanted to go and the leaders felt they could manage and did everything they could to assure me DC would be 100% fine. It was only 1-night, last night.

DC was extremely nervous when I dropped them and some of the others where crying which made them worse. We were hurried out the door after a quick hug.
I’ve had 1 photo from the leaders to the general group and DC is not visible in this photo I think I can see the top of their head but that’s it – we were told at the parents meeting that it was up to the children if they wanted to be photographed and if they wanted photos sending to their parents. No other photos have been sent, some of my friends with DC in the same group say they’ve had private messages with photos of their DC, so I’m panicking that DC isn’t ok.

Pickup isn’t until 3pm and I so want to drive up and pick them up now. They're only half an hour away so won't be getting back on the bus until 2.15ish.

Reassure me that DC is absolutely fine and just a bit camera shy? And tell me some funny stories of your own camps/DCs camps please?

You would've been called if there was a problem. Breathe and stop catastrophising.

My DD went on Brownie camp and I was convinced it would be a disaster. Also has SN. Had never gone on sleepovers or anything, finds it hard to sleep in strange places or with other people around. It was 2 nights and I was convinced I would be called.

We had no contact either, not even photos. When I picked her up on the last day she told me she hadn’t missed me at all! She had a brilliant time. Hopefully your DS is also just having too much fun to miss you.

At bless. My ds (9) is also away with cubs this weekend, went on Friday and back at 4.30. Heard nothing, photos have been sent but my ds can’t clearly be seen in any.

I had a chat with one of the leaders randomly in the queue for fireworks night a few weeks ago. He said he had been doing these camps for nearly 20 years. In all that time there are almost always children (and parents) crying at drop off but the vast majority of kids once at camp have been absolutely fine. They keep them so busy they literally don’t have time to think about being homesick. He’s overseen literally thousands of kids in that time and he can only think of a single occasion where the child needed to be picked up mid-camp. They will come back exhausted but happy, promise.

I've been in your position. Leaders have called if my child was very distressed but I think you have to go with no news is good news for this one.

I’ve been taking brownies on camp for several years including girls with additional needs - we’ve never had to call a parent to come and collect their child early, sometimes a few tears at bedtime if they aren’t used to being away from home but they are easily comforted and distracted by their friends and the leaders. It’s hard, but try not to worry too much - they will be having a great time!

No news is good news in situations like this I find.

My poor DD was on a primary school residential when I got a call to say she’d come down with swine flu (some years ago now) The staff said she’d be well looked after and would probably be better off with lots of trained staff than if I’d gone to get her on the train and brought her home. It didn’t sit right but I agreed and in the end it worked out fine. Poor DD though. I felt very bad for her.

Stay put woman.
They would have rung.
No volunteer would be making a child stay that they could have easily got rid of!
Hold your nerve til 3pm

Yes please don't go. Imagine you rushing into their camp in a state of panic and they are mortified that their mum has come early because they are having a great time...
They probably didn't want the photo. That's all. There is no bigger message. Someone would have contacted you if they were distressed. This is about you now, not them.

Yes , he's fine.
He may or may not have enjoyed the camp, he may have had a brilliant time.
He may never want to go again.
But, either way, he's coping with it, he's fundamentally ok. Because if he wasn't , they'd have been on the phone to you PDQ.

An absence , or only a glimpse of him in a group pic means literally nothing.
I can quite see, that feeling nervous about him going, you'd have been reassured
by a photo and message centring him. But he may just have been busy with some other activity. Or camers shy.

I know it's agony for you to be wondering if he's ok.

But, please, try to keep this to yourself.

He enjoyed it? "Great."
He didn't enjoy it-"Hey, that's a shame, but you rose to the challenge of it, had a go, and I'm proud of you for that".

Oh bless you OP.

He is going to be okay. Have snacks in the car when you pick him up or go for a drive through. In my experience they are always hungry, fairly grubby and absolutely shattered. A cry is normal, DC always cry on the way home as they are sooo tired. Then I shove them in the shower and we have a lazy afternoon.

I'll give you the worst case scenario. They are hating it but keeping that to themselves. They will come back and say they never want to go again. So they have had a negative 24 hours but learnt something about themselves, stuck it out, no drama, no big deal.

DS went on a cub camp and the leaders all said he had had a great time. He didn't, he just didn't complain about anything! The sleeping arrangements and food were just unsuitable for his personality tbh. And it was a week long, and it was in the pissing rain.

This was several years ago. He is now very good at knowing what he does and doesn't want to do. Has done Gold D of E etc, but also turns down opportunities that he doesn't think he will enjoy. Its a brilliant skill to have and I really admire him.

So whatever is happening it will be for the best. They don't need to be rescued even though our parental urge is always to swoop in and hold them close.

Good luck x

Beaver leader here. Beavers is 5 3/4 to 8.

Most beavers have not stayed overnight anywhere apart from family before sleepovers.

They are always fine. We have a good ratio of adults to children and always have capacity to deal with anyone who is a little overwhelmed.

I love seeing how these little ones really grow in confidence.

Scouts have processes in place to contact parents in emergencies.

Thank you all, I've put my car keys back on the hook!

Good! And don't let on you were worried in the slightest when you see him.

He will pick up on any parental panic and assume there was something frightening about cub camp that he didn't know about.

Just wanted to thank you for what you do - my eldest ds went to cub camp as a diabetic 6 year old. I honestly was so scared he would die.

Cubs/Scout leaders were the only people brave enough to support my son away from his parents. The cub leader came to my house to learn how to inject insulin and test blood glucose.

It was a lifeline at a really difficult time.

I'm imagine he's absolutely fine as they haven't contacted you!
Don't tell him how worried you've been, tell him how proud you are and you knew he'd be absolutely fine!
Having said that, I was an absolute wreck when my children went off on their school PGL type things when they were about 10 ish. They had a ball! 😁

They would have called if there was an issue. They know what they're doing, please trust that all is well. I bet you DC has had a great time.
Don't hold anything by the lack of photos, mine is often missing from pictures when he attends things because he's off playing with others and has no time for that! Hopefully yours is too busy getting involved in other things to want to pose for photos

Can't wait to hear how much fun he's had when you pick him up!

But why not send him with a cheap non smart phone next time so he can call you if he needs to?

@pigonalipstick We were told no phones or tablets or games consoles as the leaders didn't want to look after them or monitor their usage which is fair enough really!

Aww my middle child has just got back from.her first sleepover. She had a fab time. Having been a parent helper with my older child I can confirm the adult/child ratios are high and of course we would call if a child was distressed. At the three I helped on all the children were so busy there wasn't time for them to get upset. Getting them to go to sleep though...! I hope when you collect him he's just happy to tell you all about it.

They would have called. Bet he's having a fabulous time but not much sleep and will come home exhausted, covered in mud and starving if my experience is anything to go by.

Maybe your DS knows he's not out there fir long and is enjoying himself to much to spend time standing having photos taken.

Please don't do this next time. Can you imagine the chaos of half a dozen youngsters calling or texting home when they feel a little homesick? Parents panicking, turning up and wanting to collect their off spring without any warning, when there'snothing actually wrong?
I remember my first Brownie camp, 40+ years ago now. It was a bit scary first night, some of the girls got a little upset, but the leaders were great and got everyone involved in games and a midnight feast (which, incidentally, I slept through...). Your DS will be fine, OP. Trust the leaders. They would definitely have been in touch if there was a problem.

I had a similar experience with my little one. Only in church hall up the road. Leaders promised to call but didn't. She didn't sleep all night they felt she should power through. I was furious as not their call to make and not what we d agreed, some additional needs including severe anxiety However little one was tired and annoyed and like other poster clear that kind of thing was not for her not happy but not remotely traumatized so it is fine. She has also gone on to do Duke of Edinburgh funny enough. So even if he has hated it he ll still be ok and maybe he ll have had an .

Brownie Leader here. Please don't do this!!

Can you imagine if every child took a phone? All electronics are banned from our events for good reasons.