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Original poster

Reassure me I’d have been called if DC wasn't ok on Camp?

60 replies

FirstCampDC · 27/11/2022 11:04

DC on their first camp with scouts. They’re 8.

They have some SN but absolutely love Scouts, are invested and absolutely love all the activities. I was against them going I didn’t think they were ready but DC wanted to go and the leaders felt they could manage and did everything they could to assure me DC would be 100% fine. It was only 1-night, last night.

DC was extremely nervous when I dropped them and some of the others where crying which made them worse. We were hurried out the door after a quick hug.
I’ve had 1 photo from the leaders to the general group and DC is not visible in this photo I think I can see the top of their head but that’s it – we were told at the parents meeting that it was up to the children if they wanted to be photographed and if they wanted photos sending to their parents. No other photos have been sent, some of my friends with DC in the same group say they’ve had private messages with photos of their DC, so I’m panicking that DC isn’t ok.

Pickup isn’t until 3pm and I so want to drive up and pick them up now. They're only half an hour away so won't be getting back on the bus until 2.15ish.

Reassure me that DC is absolutely fine and just a bit camera shy? And tell me some funny stories of your own camps/DCs camps please?

OP posts:
Dinosauratemydaffodils · 27/11/2022 12:28

My ds was at a beaver sleepover last night, his 4th and he's loved every one. We got a couple of group photos but nothing specific. Our leaders tend to post everything en masse afterwards when they have more time. However if anyone did have an issue in my experience they absolutely would call you. I think they all help each other too. Ds certainly takes his duties as a lodge leader very seriously.

ChocHotolate · 27/11/2022 12:42

My DH is a scout leader and takes his troop camping (they're on an activity day today). They would definitely call if there was a problem but likelier he wouldn't mind at all if you called to check on your child, especially as there are SN involved. He has said before that sometimes kids do struggle a little but that by persevering they get so much from the experience.
No news is good news

FlyingPandas · 27/11/2022 12:46

Former Brownie young leader here and now have 3 DC who have all gone through Beavers/Cubs/Scouts.

Mine never seem to manage to appear in any group photos Grin

Honestly I know the anxiety is real and tough to deal with as a parent but try and sit tight. They will have called you if a child was really struggling but it is also a sensible move for a leader to try and distract/encourage a child to stay if they are just a bit unsettled. A DC's sense of achievement at having finished the camp can be amazing.

As others have very sensibly said, he may have enjoyed it, he may not, either can be a very positive learning experience.

Toddlerteaplease · 27/11/2022 12:46

I broke my ankle on the first night of brownie camp and no one believed me. Don't think my parents were contacted till the next day! This was In the 80's

PeachyPears · 27/11/2022 12:47

Of course you’d have been told if there was a problem

maybe you could also do with some work on your anxiety, seems to be passing on to your DC!

AgathaMystery · 27/11/2022 12:53

Minimalme · 27/11/2022 11:33

Just wanted to thank you for what you do - my eldest ds went to cub camp as a diabetic 6 year old. I honestly was so scared he would die.

Cubs/Scout leaders were the only people brave enough to support my son away from his parents. The cub leader came to my house to learn how to inject insulin and test blood glucose.

It was a lifeline at a really difficult time.

Show quote history

This is so lovely. I cannot imagine how much courage it took for you to send him xxx

NotSorry · 27/11/2022 13:08

pigonalipstick · 27/11/2022 11:43

Can't wait to hear how much fun he's had when you pick him up!

But why not send him with a cheap non smart phone next time so he can call you if he needs to?

We’ve always had a “no phones” policy on our cub camps. Once in 13 years has this been ignored and the cub ended up being sent home halfway through. Not because he had the phone but because he was texting his mum to come and get him and she agreed. At that point we had no way of turning him round even though he’d been having a great time. I now use this example as a lesson for any parent thinking it’s a good idea to ignore us. We have a Facebook group and I regularly update over the weekend and make sure I get all the cubs in the pictures at some point

FrownedUpon · 27/11/2022 13:29

He’ll be fine. You need to work on your anxiety, before you pass it on to your poor DC.

PuttingDownRoots · 27/11/2022 13:36

Another Cub leader. We are very good at distracting homesick ones, and making tasks manageable for all.

There are children who don't enjoy it... same as they don't all live the baking, or craft stuff, or the sports... but as there are so many different bits, they do enjoy some of it.

Hope your DS has had a great time.

PuttingDownRoots · 27/11/2022 13:37

As for phones... we have a locked box for those, generally used by the Scouts.

SouperNoodle · 27/11/2022 13:41

I'm sure your DS is fine! Not long to go now until you see him and he tells you all about it and how much he enjoyed it ☺️

BogRollBOGOF · 27/11/2022 13:47

CrapBucket · 27/11/2022 11:18

I'll give you the worst case scenario. They are hating it but keeping that to themselves. They will come back and say they never want to go again. So they have had a negative 24 hours but learnt something about themselves, stuck it out, no drama, no big deal.

DS went on a cub camp and the leaders all said he had had a great time. He didn't, he just didn't complain about anything! The sleeping arrangements and food were just unsuitable for his personality tbh. And it was a week long, and it was in the pissing rain.

This was several years ago. He is now very good at knowing what he does and doesn't want to do. Has done Gold D of E etc, but also turns down opportunities that he doesn't think he will enjoy. Its a brilliant skill to have and I really admire him.

So whatever is happening it will be for the best. They don't need to be rescued even though our parental urge is always to swoop in and hold them close.

Good luck x

DS had similar before his Autism diagnosis. The problem for him was that I was on the same camp with another unit, and I had said where my pitch was and that he could visit in unstructured time. Of course Akela gave the standard contradicting message to all his pack to keep off all other pitches. DS couldn't rationalise that his mother had given him permission, plus all of our unit would be friendly to him anyway. I ended up finding him very exhausted, in a bit of a state and spruced him back up to a functional level to cope with the rest of the camp, and on balance he enjoyed it. This lack of clear separation is why phones are a bad idea to bring in to the mix aside from all the other welfare difficulties they can bring.

We talked about how to cope with the next one and off he went two months later and had a great time. He's been back to that camp since and also had a great time.

There's virtually always someone homesick or struggling on each camp, but leaders are very experienced at dealing with it, and for the vast majority keeping busy and distracted, making sure that another participant is "looking after them" or settling off to sleep is the best cure. We've never had to send anyone home because they were unconsolable over many years and many camps. It's not always easy for some children, but they virtually all come back for more camps and learn so much from the experience.

As a parent-leader it's really weird having your own children on the same one too and not being completely detached either 😂

CheeseIsMyPatronus · 27/11/2022 13:53

I loved the No Phones rule for Scouts and Guiding. They meant there were times completely free from social media and online stuff, could unwind and be fully present and involved in the activities.

The volunteer leaders are unsung heroes and heroines for giving so generously of their time and providing children and teens with such incredible experiences.

RambamThankyouMam · 27/11/2022 14:03

From "they" I take it they're twins.

Original poster
FirstCampDC · 27/11/2022 14:07

RambamThankyouMam · 27/11/2022 14:03

From "they" I take it they're twins.

@RambamThankyouMam Nope just 1 DC, I just didn't want to reveal the gender as it makes no difference to their experience or mine.

Had the text to say they're getting back on the bus now, so I'll head out in 10-15 to get them from the hall they meet at.

OP posts:
EatingWormsMichael · 27/11/2022 14:21

Shamelessly posting so I find out how it went. Hope they had a blast OP X

Mariposista · 27/11/2022 14:23

Totally unreasonable. Find something to do and don't become 'that parent'.

Nowthenhere · 27/11/2022 14:36

Children should be sent with an old phone and leaders should be informed that it's not up for discussion and that they are not to confiscate/remove this from your child.

Putting a child in an alien environment (like a field in a tent -pit) without access to their safety comfort is a terrible way to treat a child. Back in the day there were pay phones. But there isn't that anymore.

Becles · 27/11/2022 14:58

Nowthenhere · 27/11/2022 14:36

Children should be sent with an old phone and leaders should be informed that it's not up for discussion and that they are not to confiscate/remove this from your child.

Putting a child in an alien environment (like a field in a tent -pit) without access to their safety comfort is a terrible way to treat a child. Back in the day there were pay phones. But there isn't that anymore.

As a Brownie and Guide leader if you informed me that this was happening I'd respond by telling you that your child was not coming on the trip.

No one would be able to force me to take the child and I'd cancel the whole thing if you kept on at me. I'm not staff or (lucky for me) your child's teacher, even if I was I'd expect a lot more respect for my experience and knowledge than you're showing here.

Good luck if people know your attitude finding another licenced volunteer willing to wade through the forest of paperwork and also give up their weekend for free.

SoupDragon · 27/11/2022 15:01

Nowthenhere · 27/11/2022 14:36

Children should be sent with an old phone and leaders should be informed that it's not up for discussion and that they are not to confiscate/remove this from your child.

Putting a child in an alien environment (like a field in a tent -pit) without access to their safety comfort is a terrible way to treat a child. Back in the day there were pay phones. But there isn't that anymore.

🤦🏻‍♀️

"Back in the day" there absolutely weren't pay phones in the fields with tents. There weren't pay phones in the buildings we "camped" in either.

OllytheCollie · 27/11/2022 15:05

@Nowthenhere children don't have to go if they are really likely to feel homesick. But if they go they have to follow the rules and the no-phone rule has been carefully thought through to protect all the children and volunteers. It's not just that phoning home can actually trigger homesickness, but the volunteers involved can't tell if the child is using the phone to access inappropriate content. They are not there to supervise that. Like so many other parents on this thread I am incredibly grateful scout and guide leaders give up their time for free to help children have new experiences. It's a privilege. Don't dick about with it.

SilverSalver · 27/11/2022 15:19

I completely trusted the scout / cub leaders to be responsible for DS. That was until I picked him up and he was very unwell with a high temperature and said he had felt poorly all weekend.
Another time I went in to camp as parent helper to help with food. I did the big food shop and some of the cooking.
I had prepared DS who was very faddy that he would have to eat what he was given and he did very well.
Another child was not so keen and refused the food. He was given a dressing down and made to cry. Eventually his parents were called to collect. I didn't like the way it was handled.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 27/11/2022 15:27

Nowthenhere · 27/11/2022 14:36

Children should be sent with an old phone and leaders should be informed that it's not up for discussion and that they are not to confiscate/remove this from your child.

Putting a child in an alien environment (like a field in a tent -pit) without access to their safety comfort is a terrible way to treat a child. Back in the day there were pay phones. But there isn't that anymore.

They really shouldn't.

If nothing else, there would inevitably be at least one child sent with a camera phone - and then you have the risk of a child sending photos of other children in bed, in nightclothes, in underwear, who are in hiding from domestic abuse/adopted and subjected to safeguarding that includes No Photographs to whoever is on the contacts list - or posting online. Or filming stuff for TikTok.

No Phones when it's been set as a rule is not up for discussion. It means no phones.

Feel free to refuse to send your children on activities as a result.

PinkSyCo · 27/11/2022 15:42

Blimey OP it’s been one night! Be glad that your anxiety does not appear to have rubbed off too badly on your DC (yet) and that he had the courage to go camping despite your negativity. I hope they had a wonderful time and that you will be more relaxed about them going away next time.

PinkSyCo · 27/11/2022 15:49

Nowthenhere · 27/11/2022 14:36

Children should be sent with an old phone and leaders should be informed that it's not up for discussion and that they are not to confiscate/remove this from your child.

Putting a child in an alien environment (like a field in a tent -pit) without access to their safety comfort is a terrible way to treat a child. Back in the day there were pay phones. But there isn't that anymore.

There are no pay phones in the back of beyond. I went camping for a week when not much older than OP’s kid and never felt homesick once. In fact I don’t remember anyone crying for their mummy’s. I guess maybe because our parents couldn’t wait to get rid of us waved us all off happily.