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Original poster

Is it sad to spend Xmas day on your own?

85 replies

Stressedmum2017 · 26/11/2022 19:15

So split from kids dad, arrangements for Christmas are they are with me till about lunchtime Christmas day then they go to their dads till boxing day and come home again. I've had a few offers from relatives/friends to join them but to be honest I really like the idea of just making my own Christmas dinner for one and just settling on the sofa on my own!

Admittedly that is what I do most weekends when they go to their dads, so it's not even like that's a real treat for me to do... I just don't know if I can bothered with being social this year.

I voiced this idea to someone recently and they said it was a bit sad and Christmas is a time for family and sort of pitied me it felt like.
Thoughts? Is OK to spend Christmas on your own by choice or is that really anti social?

OP posts:
BankseyVest · 26/11/2022 21:29

Nope not sad at all, I had beam on toast and binge watched Star Wars in my first Xmas alone, it was ace

Brokenunicorn · 26/11/2022 21:31

Not sad. There's nothing wrong with your own company. Many of us would adore it! You know your children are coming back to you.

BuryingAcorns · 26/11/2022 21:36

It's only sad if it feels sad, OP. If it's what you want then it's the best idea.

But I would definitely make it an extra indulgent day - get yourself some gorgeous food, a book to read, some good quality bath products and new loungewear or PJs so it's not the same as every other day when DC are away.

TeamPineapple · 26/11/2022 21:46

Firen · 26/11/2022 20:32

Nothing is sad unless you’re sad about it.

Yeah, agree with this.
Once I got over the disappointment that none of my siblings and their families ever thought to invite me to spend Christmas with them (or ever thought to to see how I was) I realised I actually preferred to spend it alone anyway. I went from feeling a bit sorry for myself to feeling glad to have the day eating what I want when I want, watching what I want on TV, and not having to fit in around anyone else. It's bloody lovely 😊

iratepirate · 26/11/2022 21:50

I used to choose to spend Christmas alone. I find forced family situations a bit difficult and I loved the chance to do my own thing, but I’d often do what a PP suggested and tell we’ll-meaning friends that I had plans, as I think some people expected I’d prefer company.

Sounds like a lovely day you have planned. Enjoy!

RosesAndHellebores · 26/11/2022 21:53

If it’s a choice I imagine it’s lovely. If it’s due to circumstances and you don’t want it, I imagine it’s horrid.

Toddlerteaplease · 26/11/2022 21:55

My parents uninvited me last year as they were worried about getting covid before my sisters wedding. Despite knowing I'd be on my own.
If I'd planned the day like that it would have been lovely. But because it was forced on me it was awful. Wedding wasn't even till 4th January.

Jumpking · 26/11/2022 22:03

I could have written this last year.

I was so excited to spend the day by myself. I got a big bottle of Bombay, a camembert to bake, a massive pile of prawns and pigs in blankets. Bag of cheese balls. Utter bliss.

Anyone I told either invited me to join them, said they were sorry they couldn't invite me to join them or asked if there were any family or friends I could spend the day with.

Only a couple of them truly listened when I told them just how much I was looking forward to the day alone. The rest carried on pitying me.

I had an absolute blast by myself. The most stress free Christmas day I have ever known. The only thing I was sad about was that there wasn't a pile of Christmas dinner left over for me to make my really tasty Christmas dinner soup from. 😉

IjustbelieveinMe · 26/11/2022 22:09

I will be on my own this year, all my friends are off celebrating with their families and my family live in another country. After so much time spent wfh I couldn't face the thought of it feeling like just a normal day at home alone with my dog in my flat so I am going to volunteer at the Salvation Army and help with serving Christmas dinners to homeless people. I will probably make myself some nice food on Xmas Eve or Boxing Day.

onlythreenow · 26/11/2022 22:09

I will be in that situation at some stage, and to be honest I'm looking forward to it. Christmas is what you make it.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 26/11/2022 22:29

Sounds really nice!

I split Christmas with dcs’ dad differently so we have one year on, one year off. It used to be always me, but then he decided it did care about Christmas after all 😂 Possibly when he got a new partner, another child…

Last year when he had the kids I went to my parents which was nice, but may well have a Christmas by myself or even go away next year…

NeedWineNow · 26/11/2022 22:32

We're having this discussion with my mum. She's 86 and is increasingly more inclined to be at home rather than going anywhere. We have asked her to ours, or have said we'll go to her on Xmas Day and she's yet to decide. To be honest we are completely happy to go with whatever she wants. If she wants to be on her own we'll take her some goodies on Xmas Eve and then see her between Xmas and New Year. My brother has asked us all down to stay overnight on Boxing Day and again mum is undecided. Hey ho.

Tangled123 · 26/11/2022 22:33

I would like to have a Christmas to spend as I want. Not necessarily on my own, but away from the same old traditional Christmas Day the people around me plan every year. I’m just so bored of the whole thing.

Anonymouseposter · 26/11/2022 22:34

Some people would be sad to be on their own on Christmas Day and some wouldn't, so go with your own feelings rather than be influenced by anyone else.
I would rather be on my own than with people who are arguing or tense to be honest, but it would be nice to be with people who are relaxed and good company.

QueSyrahSyrah · 26/11/2022 22:35

I've had many a solo Christmas and if YOU are happy with it then it's not sad at all.

Forgot anyone else projecting their own feelings on to you.

Horsemad · 26/11/2022 23:10

Tangled123 · 26/11/2022 22:33

I would like to have a Christmas to spend as I want. Not necessarily on my own, but away from the same old traditional Christmas Day the people around me plan every year. I’m just so bored of the whole thing.

Same

Sunnytwobridges · 26/11/2022 23:16

It’s actually wonderful to spend it alone! I have many times as my DD has gone to her fathers house most years (she’s 26 now). And I love that I can relax, snack on Xmas food all day and not feel obligated to entertain anyone. I actually prefer it and was trying to convince my dd to go ther dads this year, I’m even willing to pay half her plane ticket. 😂

MrsFezziwig · 26/11/2022 23:19

hattie43 · 26/11/2022 19:25

Some people don't have a choice .

So does that mean I have to do something I don’t want to because some people don’t have a choice?

hattie43 · 27/11/2022 06:53

@MrsFezziwig

No not at all but it's a different perspective.

UseOfWeapons · 27/11/2022 07:13

It’s great being alone on Christmas Day, I live alone anyway, and when family have been away fir Christmas, I’m lucky enough to have had offers to go and spend it with others . I’ve always been very grateful, but declined, as I have no transport, and don’t want someone going without a drink on Christmas Day if that’s what they want.
I usually plan myself a nice lunch, a gorgeous special dinner, have a chat with family on the phone, and cuddle in for the evening with a feel-good movie, or some telly. Lots of walks and self care. Bliss.

rwalker · 27/11/2022 07:16

Usual rules apply if your happy with it who give a fuck

DiamanteDelia · 27/11/2022 07:25

I’ve done a few solo Christmases over the years and have loved it- just me, a good film and a glass of Baileys. Go for it.

MintJulia · 27/11/2022 07:30

You aren't the only one. Plenty of people prefer a bit of peace.

My mum preferred to spend xmas day on her own. After years of cooking huge meals, she preferred that we nip round in the morning, say Happy Christmas and have a glass of fizz, then go away and leave her in peace so she could watch her soaps and not have to put up with noisy grandchildren. 😁

sashh · 27/11/2022 07:36

My grandmother did this for years, She would have what she called an 'open house' Xmas eve, this involved her making a buffet and having friends and relatives visit.

I don't celebrate it so I'm often on my own just ignoring the world.

VinoDino · 27/11/2022 08:00

I think I'm going to go it alone this year. My sibling and his wife are going to my parents which puts me at a disadvantage as he dominates conversation, my mum centres them in everything and I sit and get ignored for the most part. I'm single/no kids so the thought of cooking and eating what I want, watching what I want with plenty of booze to keep me going is sounding increasingly wonderful.

Might even do some overtime for a few hours in the morning so I can enjoy the day all that more.