Is it sad to spend Xmas day on your own?

[Stressedmum2017]

So split from kids dad, arrangements for Christmas are they are with me till about lunchtime Christmas day then they go to their dads till boxing day and come home again. I've had a few offers from relatives/friends to join them but to be honest I really like the idea of just making my own Christmas dinner for one and just settling on the sofa on my own!

Admittedly that is what I do most weekends when they go to their dads, so it's not even like that's a real treat for me to do... I just don't know if I can bothered with being social this year.

I voiced this idea to someone recently and they said it was a bit sad and Christmas is a time for family and sort of pitied me it felt like.
Thoughts? Is OK to spend Christmas on your own by choice or is that really anti social?

I did this when covid was in full swing and it was heaven. I loved it.

The best Christmas Day I’ve ever had was spent by myself. It was utterly brilliant. Great food, fizz, lots of chocolates, a long bath, a pile of new books. No cooking, no Christmas music. It was joyous. Go for it and enjoy.

I have the same arrangement with my ex and I love it. I get to spend the morning with kids opening presents and eating yummy food then have the afternoon to watch TV without bickering in the background and eat my own body weight I’m cheese.

I wouldn't choose to spend the entire day on my own if I had other offers. But since your children are there all morning, that is entirely different from actually spending the day alone. I would be perfectly happy to do all the presents and a Christmassy breakfast and then wave them off and have the rest of the day to myself.

Nothing is sad unless you’re sad about it.

You're not spending the day alone, you're spending half of it with your kids

Lots of people can’t stand to be on there own ever and so can’t understand how you’d think it was an ok idea.

I love being on my own (although I have a nice family!) and if I have to go a week where people are there all the time I really look forward to time alone!

Sounds like you are someone who is happy to be alone so I think you’ll be fine. The only problem might be that Xmas Day TV is always much shitter than you think it will be, so make sure you’ve got things to stream!

Most years DH works Xmas day. I’ve always celebrated on Xmas eve so he’s found a core group of coworkers who would rather have Xmas day off so it’s almost guaranteed that he’ll find a trade.

We celebrate together on Xmas eve night, wake up the next morning to exchange stockings he goes to work. I spend the day with goodies, maybe a movie or a good audiobook. We generally make fixings for dinner the day before with all of our other food so I’m able to easily assemble a tasty special dinner with a nice glass of wine. Then cuddle in for a good nights sleep and in the morning when he gets home we have a nice lazy breakfast and coffee.

I’m annually invited to a friends open house and annually decline. I appreciate it, but really enjoy a nice quiet day on my own.

I've done this once when dc went with his dad, it was a nice chilled day slouching around in New pj's and watching Christmas t.v all day, I never cooked a Christmas dinner me an dc had one on Xmas eve so I just picked at left over meat and ate loads of nice treats. As nice as it was tho I felt I'd been robbed of Christmas and don't think I would do it again.

Christmas tv is dire I’m lucky if there’s five programmes over the fortnight I want to watch.

Same! I always found Christmas with family horribly stressful anyway.

You're not on your own all day then. You've got the kids in the morning you'll see them open their presents and then relax in the afternoon . That will be lovely xx

It’s fine if you do it by choice. However the covid lockdown during the previous two years where we live, meant a lot of families didn’t reconnect with their work based o/s loved ones. We have one of those and I was very worried for the MH aspect of it all.

No, of course it isn’t ‘sad’. Enjoy your Christmas.

However a) you aren’t spending it on your own / you’re with family all morning and choosing to spend the afternoon on your own b) people are properly alone at Christmas not by their own choosing and don’t enjoy it, so it’s really lovely you’ve had invitations extended imo.

I often spend Christmas alone and prefer that to the stress of being at my sister's house. I love her dearly but everything has to be done her way or she gets v passive aggressive (she will deny this completely). Christmas is a big thing to her so she goes all out which is lovely, but I like being able to curl up and read, or have a nap, whereas she wants us doing something all the time!

I have a thread running about how to make it special cause I do feel at times a bit like it could be any other day off. Maybe you could look there for some ideas to spoil yourself as other posters had great ideas

good to know I'm not a total loser

NEVER put yourself down like that!

Christmas is wonderful, however you spend it.

Better to be alone, cooking, or getting a take-away, Netflix than awful family members telling you "you are not good enough"

Fuck that.

I think that's fine you'll have a crazy busy morning then will get to chill. Xmas day is yours to spend however you please.

@RumNotRun I have a sister like that. I get it.

We are both single mums. she thinks she is perfect though

Yawn...

Do exactly what suits you OP. I had that lockdown Christmas alone and really enjoyed it. You’ll have the kids in the morning & can enjoy some adult food & drinks in the evening with a long bath and cracking telly.

I feel sorry for those having to spend it with difficult families, not those who are happy going solo.

When I was single, I did a few xmas days on my own. One of the best was where I'd decided to repaint my living room. Got the paint / decided on colour beforehand, then painted some of Xmas Day and Boxing Day, spending the rest of each day relaxing / eating / drinking etc. By 27th, I had a new colour living room and felt I'd actually accomplished something.

It's fine!

Of course it's not sad if it's the choice you're choosing to make.

I would think it a bit sad if you were alone purely because you had no friends or relatives who'd extended an invitation to spend the day with them.

Lots of people are pressurised into spending the day with people they'd rather not be with and will be fantasising about being in your situation, alone and cosy with some nice food and a good film.

If you want to spend it alone.. do it!! Have a fabulous relaxing day 😊😊

I did it a couple of years when the exH was still taking an interest and insisted that he have his turn at Christmas day. I have to say I really liked it, I had the morning with DCs and a really special breakfast together and presents. Then ExH picked them up about 11, and brought them back around 8. I ate what I liked all day, read books, had a leisurely bath and enjoyed the peace. We did Christmas dinner the next day with my mum and stepdad, and it was all OK.

Not if you're happy doing it. Enjoy.