Watching cartoon in cafe

[Newmumcw]

We went to a cafe with our toddler today who asked to watch some cartoons, we normally don't let him have that much screen time at home, but when we go out we let him watch a little bit so we can actually enjoy our meals too (we talked to him the whole time so not ignoring him).

DS had a great time but a man at the next table kept glancing at us disapprovingly (the cartoon was on silent so it couldn't be the noise that bothered him). When we gave DS some of our dessert he glanced at us too, I tried to make small talks but he just stared at DS not saying much. We felt so uncomfortable having someone glancing over all the time and felt judged.

AIBU to think he's being rude and openly judging how we parent our child? We think occasion treats when we go out is fine, and parents deserve a break too! What do you think?

“Regarding the man - if the phone was on silent, the guy can’t have been annoyed by the noise. There is no way of knowing what he was thinking - he might just be glancing over innocently, not thinking about anything in particular or maybe he was being judgmental, who knows!”

This ^

My kids often say I have a stern, ‘judgey’ face when I’m actually thinking nothing of the kind. I might be just curious or wondering what to have to eat. You have no idea that the man was being disapproving. Shame that you judged him and then felt outrage that he might be judging you.

There's always one on every thread.

Urgh, the screen police are out in force it seems.

Yeah its odd they should show up on a thread asking for opinions on screen time for toddlers in cafes.

Sorry OP I judge a bit when I see this, I have small children and I don't let them watch screens at the table as I think its better they learn to join in with the family and learn how to behave in a cafe or restaurant. I don't stare or tut at others doing it though. Perhaps the man was judging you, he was very rude to make a show of it if so.

This.

@KnickerlessParsons does judging other people make you feel good about yourself?

Another who thinks he may have had his eye caught by the screen - happens to me sometimes. Or possibly by the unpredictable movements of a toddler - leg kicking or something.

I couldn’t care less about tablets as long as there’s no running and screaming - crack on.

Maybe he was as paranoid as you seem to be and was worried as to why you kept staring at him. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Some weird replies here. Don't worry about it, OP. We're all just muddling through and doing our best!

Sounds like you are being paranoid about it all. Your DS was watching a cartoon on silent, he wasn’t misbehaving. I wouldn’t give it too much thought to be honest

It wouldn't matter even if there was some volume; it's a cafe not a library.

Love this advice!!

Maybe he wanted to watch the cartoon!

Personally, whenever I witness that, I find it sad.

You're assuming he was judging you. You have no idea what he was actually thinking or what he has going on in his life.

This is on you, not him. He didn't do anything.

Depends on the volume. If distracting then yes it does matter.

Maybe he was judging you, maybe he was just curious why there was no sound, maybe he was just looking around bored.
Don’t assume the worst. When DD started school I had a few times people “staring” at me and her e.g at the cafe, at the local supermarket. I did severe “Paddington stare “ in return. Then it turned out that they were staff from her primary school who knew her by sight already.

How do you know the child was happy loved or fed.