To be uncomfortable about word "rape" being used out of context at work

[Fireyflies]

Male colleague, first time meeting him, used as a metaphor for something he felt strongly about - "The government is raping...." (ie underfunding, undervaluing) . He used it twice with emphasis I feel trying to make me uncomfortable. Or am I just being over sensitive?

If it had been used out of context, I would definitely agree with you. Not a word to be used lightly. Remember student days when people used to talk about 'fraping' (facebook raping - someone stealing your computer when you were logged in and changing your status). It was distateful then and totally disgusting now.

But, in that context, idk. I feel like it's a word I'd probably use without thinking in it's other meanings still. I don't feel like it's defunct or old fashioned. I think it's common to refer to 'raping the planet' in reference to the climate emergency for example, and that kind of usage doesn't make me uncomfortable at all because I see it as a totally separate homynym (think that's the right term, apologies if not).

The abortion comment made upthread is a great example of when it is offensive. They won't have meant aberration. The younger generation have started using it as a term for something that we would have called a car crash (also arguably not appropriate now I think about it!) So, after a total cock up they might say 'what an abortion'. It's dreadful.

How is a Cock up any better?! Just as bad surely! In fact most words and phrases could be deemed unsuitable if we start thinking about it!

Does "cock up" refer to a traumatic violent crime that a reasonable % of the people in the workplace are likely to have been the victim of?

Abortion, in the context of this thread: “an object or undertaking that is unpleasant or badly made or carried out.”

I don't think you're over sensitive, especially if you or someone close to you has been impacted by something like that. It would likely resonate in a way that would not with others.

Both my father and mother were and still are inclined to use certain terms in way that would not be generally acceptable today. It was normal when/where they were growing up (and I'd certainly say my grandfather had some of the racist beliefs/attitudes that were the norm in his lifetime).

I can see why you wouldn't want to outright challenge this man in these circumstances OP. You could perhaps respond with a slight frown or raised eyebrow. He might then have asked 'what's the problem?' and you could say 'what do YOU think the problem is'.
In any case I would be keeping a record of what was said in case of any repeat offences.

I'd feel exactly the same.

I also feel like that about the word 'pimp' : 'Oh, we're gonna pimp up this salad'. Looking at you, Jamie

Yikes, not really language I’d expect people to use with someone they’ve just met in the context and setting described.

I think I probably did respond with a bit of a scowl. But that just made him repeat the phrase.

I'm don't in general agree with policing other people's language, or avoiding any terms that could possibly be triggering to anyone. But in the context of a meeting room with just me and this man I didn't know well, it very much felt like a deliberate choice of word. I think he wanted a powerful word to drive home that he felt strongly about the government underfunding. And making me uncomfortable would ensure I knew how strongly he felt.

Raping is an emotionally charged word and highly unlikely in the worlds I live and work in to be used in this context. I don’t need it defining (I doubt the OP does either), but can’t remember ever actually hearing it said out loud.

In contexts such as ‘raping the planet’ it’s used for exactly that reason - to elicit an emotional response.

I agree OP, if something about it made you uneasy, it’s not something I’d be challenging officially but I’d be mindful for now in interactions with him.

I'm sure that's right OP
I don't feel that this would ever have been an appropriate use of the word (even if we set aside the likelihood of upsetting survivors, which we shouldn't)
'Raping the planet' - causing deliberate, permanent, wanton destruction
I doubt even he thinks this is what the government is doing to whatever the public service is. More likely he thinks they are deliberately allowing the service to suffer/wither away through inaction by underfunding it. Different.