To suggest not having kids when older

[eelieza]

If youre going to be getting older as they grow up even, when health issues are inevitable and you know there are no provisions for their own care

The only way to get those sorts of people to back off is to bite back.

FFS, you're not a dog. Get ahold of yourself.

Every family ends up developing their own dynamic due to a whole host of factors. Personally, I'm happy I waited because I'm now a helluva lot more financially stable than I was in my 20s, hopefully much less self-centred and definitely more confident in my own intelligence and abilities.

My son has some additional needs and I feel grateful that I've got the confidence, experience and frankly the money that comes with age to do more for him than I would have had in my 20s. If I'd had him 15 years ago we'd be scraping by financially (that's being optimistic) and I don't think I'd be as confident to push back on the crappy SEN system as I am now that I'm in my 40s. Some 20 year olds may be able to manage this, but I wouldn't have been one of them.

Who knows what the future holds, but for now it fits.

I don't know. I have a friend that has lost both her parents this year. She is 34. She is the youngest of five. Her mum was 42 and dad 50 when she was born.

I have another friend who's parents had her in their early 20s, but both her parents died in their 50s (one a heart attack and another cancer).

Life can be cruel.

Any point you may or may not have is lost when you resort to name calling and basically telling people they're bad parents with no evidence

My parents are pretty awesome. They were older patents. Happy to play with me, read with me, we went on loads day trips to interesting places. Happy to pic me up and drop me off. Always there.

Thanks for the suggestion but it's way to late for me!

I had my first child at 41 and I genuinely think I'm a much better parent than I would have been at 21 or even 31 to be honest! I'm fitter and more patient than I was at those ages.

I'm sorry your upbringing wasn't good but don't tar all older parents with the same brush.

Op you sound very unpleasant.

There are many things that aren't ideal when you make the decision t have children. You just have to know if you think that you can give your kids a pretty decent life with the known factors at that moment. For example I'd have thought someone as unpleasant as you is probably going to raise equally unpleasant children but I guess you disagree. We all think different things are important.

Thread deleted, not in the spirit.

In 3, 2, 1 ..........

So I'm disabled. So according to you I am less than ideal?

This place gets worse.

''Able bodied parents are ideal.'' OK. I was sympathetic earlier, but this is really upsetting.

Blimey. Wish I hadn't given the benefit of the doubt early on now. 😠

It is a bit awful; I acquired a disability after an accident. Stings a bit to be told I am now not ideal. Not like I was before, you understand, when I was intact, so to speak. Oh well, too late, can't unhave the accident that robbed me of my [redacted].

Ouch... you're cruel.

Shaming people for having children later in life is absolutely disturbing.

Won’t happen, Mumsnet will keep this one going because of the traffic to the site

I’ll get banned from the site for saying that before OP’s topic gets deleted

I reported this thread earlier, the OP is obviously a troll and their comments were disgusting. Can't believe it's still standing.