Should siblings share shoes?

[Redcrocodile]

Just that really.

My DH says yes and he wants us to keep all shoes from our DD and pass them to DS who is 2years younger, as long as they don’t have holes and they are not severely damaged.

I would happily keep things like crocs, wellies, slippers etc. but to keep proper shoes sound weird to me.

We normally have 1-2 pairs of shoes for our DD per size (i.e. per year) and although they are properly worn and look tired, they are not severely damaged.

Would it be ok for another kid to wear them in the future?

I'm pretty sure this is a lie sold to us by Clarks.

We've shared shoes and bought second hand or had passed on. None of my children have deformed feet

I didn't see Why this was an issue until reading the responses!

No apart from wellies or crocs. Mainly because they have different sized feet so it just doesn’t work.

I would say no. I've kept dd1's clothes and dd2 is wearing them. I kept her pre walker shoes (pointless to but in the first place but look pretty) and she has worn those. Since dd2 has started to walk she has been measured and I've bought her new shoes of her own. I'd maybe keep shoes that showed no signs of wear and tear but anything worn regularly I wouldn't.

Happy for mine to wear siblings shoes that are in good condition as king as they fit well.
they usually have brand new school shoes

This. I've moved abroad now but the UK is the only country I've lived in where people routinely have their kids measured for shoes. Everywhere else I've lived and currently live, shoes are just handed down to the next sibling if they're not trashed. I even buy the oldest child second hand shoes off Marketplace. I'm probably a terrible parent based on that

Unless trashed, I kept all shoes from DD1 for DD2
Useful to have spares for school shoes. DD2 couldn't wait to grow in to party shoes from DD1 and some eg boots had v little wear before they were grown out of anyway

We use hand me downs (and save them for the youngest child) for all types of shoes as long as they're in reasonable condition.

In general no, except wellies and crocs. Maybe party shoes, active sandals and walking boots

But it does also depend on how much wear a shoe got the first time round, and how well the (worn) shoe fits the next DC.

All of mine had hand me down shoes, unless they were trashed. They got new as well but it was useful to have them share shoes. They all wear minimal shoes pretty much exclusively with wide toe boxes - so pretty much the opposite of the fitted Clark’s line. No moulding of shoes to feet here!

Yes mine wear second hand but I make sure they are adjustable (ie two Velcro straps) and no really worn ones.
I read something when mine were babies which I can't now find online but this article is similar:
www.freeourkids.co.uk/the-truth-about-second-hand-shoes-cont-interview-with-a-kids-podiatrist/

I passed some shoes from DS1 to DS2 that had barely been worn, along with wellies. But other than that no. Although mainly because DS2 had much wider feet than his brother. They're almost 3 yrs apart in age and now have the same shoe size so doesn't apply at all now.

I keep them (and we’re high earners), we’d only use school shoes as a back up - but trainers are fine.

Crocs, wellies, special party shoes are all fine to share, but not proper shoes they wear all day every day.

No. and my mother ( a war baby) was the same. you got one pair of shoes that were yours. I think shoes shape to your feet and shaping your foot to someone else's shoe isn't good. My sister and I are the same size and when we were in our teens would steal a borrow off each other's fancy shoes sometimes. I always knew when she had worn mine as they felt different.

Growing up my kids got one pair of shoes at a time (we didn't have the school shoe thing - any shoe worked). We were lucky enough to be able to afford that. If we couldn't then of course I would have put a second hand shoe on my child. But when we could afford it, shoes were the one thing that never got handed down.

Mine share, I didn't know that people don't share shoes till this thread. As long as they are in good shape I keep them. My ds2 is wearing ds1's shoes. It keeps cost down.

Yup, this. Spares were a lifesaver during the nightmarishly long time both DCs took to potty train too!
Also, my DCs seem to have so many shoes for different things (Crocs for going swimming, wellies, school shoes, indoor school shoes, trainers, snow boots in winter and sometimes fashion trainers if we see some going very cheap in the sales) plus they are mostly barefoot at home, so all bar the trainers get very little use per pair. Once school age, the trainers are falling to bits by the time they're outgrown and not in a fit state to pass on IME.

Occasional shoes for light use, I've passed down. Not the daily school shoes/ trainers.

DS2 swerves the quandary by being the same size as DS1 so I have to buy duplicates.

While they are the same size, their feet are differently proportioned.

We had some school shoes bought before lockdown and worn for about 2 weeks our youngest wore for the last few weeks of the summer term. We’ve kept some virtually unworn trainers but otherwise it’s crocs/wellies/slippers only for us.

As others have said, we would pass down wellies, walking boots, football boots, beach sandals etc but inevitably proper shoes were worn out by the time they were grown out so it never really came into consideration.

I also suspect that most shoes you would buy for your dd would be likely to look quite different from most of the shoes you would buy for a ds, despite what logic tells you. I know some people like to make a point but most parents compromise along the way.

Then, it will depend on your budget. I have worked with many children over the years who have shoes that are completely the wrong size for them where the families are not in a position to afford new, fitted shoes for growing children.

We keep them as spares (soaking wet trainers or trainers that his brother wore half a dozen times before his feet grew again seems like a no-brainer to me).

You can whisper about your kids feet being 'functional' all you like but as someone with permanent plantar fascia injuries from wearing flat 'ballet' style shoes so much in the early 2000s, I now need to use a mobility scooter outdoors, a knee scooter & zimmaframe in the house. At 38.

It's not about secondhand shoes necessarily it's about not having arch support and wearing secondhand shoes will affect the arch support! That is why you MUST have shoes properly fitted. I know it's not financially viable for everyone but at the very least, get insoles with arch support.

DO NOT EVER WALK AROUND BAREFOOT OR WEAR COMPLETELY FLAT SHOES! 🥿 Yes, barefoot is how god made us but feet are a design fault. Please don't assume foot health is some hippy/fad like nonsense, or you'll end up like me and unable to walk holding your child's hand

I pass down wellies/snow boots/slippers etc. and some pairs of shoes as spares (good for if things get soaked at nursery/the park).

Not school shoes - they have always been broken by the end of the year!

Missing the point of the thread:-
Shoes are gendered from a very young age*. So, regardless of the condition of the shoes I would expect that your DS will very quickly stop liking your DD's shoes.

If either finances or reducing waste are behind your DH's thinking it would probably be better to sell all wearable shoes from DS and DD.

• I know all shoes, provided they fit, could be worn by someone of any sex or any gender, but that's not what marketing tells us and marketing is very powerful.

I have a DS who is just a year and a half older than DD so, unfortunately, passing down of footwear has been quite limited.
In saying that, I've been happy to pass down wellies, crocs, and walking boots if they've been in reasonable condition.
School shoes have always been measured and bought new. Not only are school shoes pretty much done in by the end of the summer term, DD would not have appreciated wearing her brother's old shoes to school.

Now they're young teens, there's been a bit more passing on - mainly PE trainers and football boots. They are required to have football boots with studs suitable for grass for the 6 weeks of the year that they do football in PE.
Like fuck am I going out and forking out for a new pair of football boots for DD, to play a sport she's not interested in, when there's a pair of DS's in the cupboard that have been worn 6 times.

*Caveat - I'm the youngest of 6, four older brothers and an older sister. I clearly remember a childhood of wearing what everyone was finished with, whether it fitted me or not. I was never allowed clothes of my own that I liked, so I try to be mindful of DD and her individual tastes.