To think this is the embodiment of miserable fuckers

[Scrooooooooge]

Something they want

something they need

something to wear

something to read

I mean - how bloody joyless is that bloody thing?

But they always do. Do your kids only ever get Christmas and birthday gifts from you?

But you’re the one saying ‘four things and that’s it’ like it’s some kind of moral choice. I wouldn’t consider four presents miserable but ‘something they need’ definitely is.

I think it’s a great little rule of thumb for gift giving !! Also if you think giving a child a book is miserable you have issues. A love of reading is one of the best things you can give a child

What if they don’t though? What if they said they weren’t doing it this year, would you still stick to the four things rule then?

I'm not getting my small children only 4 presents. I don't buy my children clothes as gifts, clothes are everyday things they get as and when. They get books throughout the year too.
Yanbu, it's bullshit.

Most parents know how many presents other family members are likely to get their children, surely? It’s not a random lottery.

So when by Boxing Day the floor is littered with toys that the child got bored with within less time than it took to unwrap, would you consider it a job well done?

Or is a single well-thought out present that will be played with for a long time to come more worthwhile?

small Children do like many presents hes but older kids ‘something they want’ might be an iPad or phone or something that’s really expensive. A nice branded hoodie, a book and something they ‘need’ like a backpack or fancy stationary or something , that’s a great set of gifts IMO

It's more the fact that it's usually accompanied by a sanctimonious tone. They are welcome to do it, but it doesn't make them the superior being they imply when they let us all know about it.

Well he needed trainers and instead of bog-standard ones he got must-haves-by-cool-seventeen-year-old ones. Upgrade because a present.

@DdraigGoch Nope. But then we've never had the scenario you describe.

But the question I’m asking is: if you knew they wouldn’t be getting anything else, would you still stick to the same four things rule?

Yeah it comes over kind of formulaic, regimented even, turning gift-giving into a task with parameters, and with arbitrary essential categories — why clothing and reading materials; why not e.g. "something you want, something you need, something to listen to, something to eat" (yes I know it doesn't things as well), or some other random set of things? And it has a kind of pursed-mouth tone to it, like an "in my day we didn't need all these fripperies" feeling.

Although it can be followed and still result in lovely joyful Christmas gifts, for people who were often disappointed by being given prosaic essentials as kids and didn't particularly get joy out of books and new clothing, the concept of it can come across as "one thing you actually want, one thing I'd have to buy you anyway but am going to pretend counts as a gift, another thing I'd have to buy you anyway but am going to pretend counts as a gift, and something educational and improving because I think you ought to enjoy reading". And I was the kid who was thrilled to get as many books and book tokens as possible at Christmas.

It doesn't have to be, it depends upon your definition of "need".

"Need" and its interpretation is key.

I could say I "need" another tube of my fave moisturiser or another bottle of my favourite perfume because I've run out, and my in-laws or someone will happily buy me that, but I'm not going to buy my 5-year-old a new coat as he's grown out of his old one and say it's a Christmas present.

I buy the DGSs something to play with, something to read, something to wear and sweets.

I'm with you OP, it is properly miserable. As the mother of a 4 year old I can just imagine his little face after receiving one toy, a book, some school shoes and a jumper.

If he has need of something, its my job to provide it, not pass of something necessary as a Christmas present.

(yes I know it doesn't things as well)

doesn't rhyme as well

Well, what’s your definition of ‘need’?

I generally follow that rule for stocking presents but as categories rather than a 4 item limit. For DD for example, her 'need' is shower gel, shampoo and conditioner but if it is a stocking present it is the stuff she loves from Lush rather than whatever is on special offer in the supermarket.

I might not stick strictly to four gifts as a parent (more like ‘three things they want’ lol) but I do try not to just buy random tat as one year my dd age 4 ish literally stopped half way through gift giving and wanted to stop as she just couldn’t take it all in it was like being given a toy shop and she wasn’t even looking at the gifts any more just ripping paper off, I realised it was ridiculous . If you’re lucky enough to have family who almost want to out-buy each other for your kids gifts this is a really good rule as it means they don’t end up with three trikes each one more expensive than the last because both sets of grandparents and an auntie are competing with each other who can spend the most , the other thing is by the time they’re 3 they have literally everything, my friends dd is the only child born in the family since her mum, first grandchild on each side, she got a trike, balance bike, adventure playground, dolls house, rocking horse, water slide , swing, scooter, kitchen, trampoline, dolls pram … pretty much ever ‘big gift’ you can imagine by the time she turned 3 , my friend has had to start getting rid of stuff on marketplace before birthdays and Christmas!

Oh, and I used to know someone who took their DCs Xmas money for school clothes 'as they wreck their clothes they don't deserve anything else'

Yep. Those are ACTUAL RULES.

You MUST OBEY.

Do not even consider doing something different from what someone on the internet has told you to do.

Who says it has to be just 4 presents? You can buy 2/3 things they want, 1 thing they need, something to wear can consist of any item of clothing plus smellies, nail varnish, hats, headphones, 2 or more books for something to read. Eleven presents right there.

My gran always bought us two vests, two pairs of pants and two pairs of socks. My mum loved it, my other gran (her mum) always bought us fun stuff.