15 year restraining order

thisisasurvivor · 2022-11-18T14:12:56+00:00

Hello all Long story short Years of hell Attacked my aunt and I Fled with two small kids Criminal case and got a 15 year restraining order for myself only What May this mean re child contact please if anyone is aware??

Original poster

thisisasurvivor · 18/11/2022 15:23

...

OP posts:

piedbeauty · 18/11/2022 15:24

Can't you ask the police/the court that gave him the restraining order?

Original poster

thisisasurvivor · 18/11/2022 15:55

But just wondering. If it has any bearing on child contact

Ie will the judge be reluctant to order contract with my two kids when my ex has a 15 year restraining case order on me ?

OP posts:

cupofdecaf · 18/11/2022 15:59

It depends on the conditions set out in the restraining order.
Presumably you want the restraining order? How old are the kids?

GetOffTheRoof · 18/11/2022 16:02

I'm unclear. Is the order a non-molestation order? Is it in place to protect you from him? What are the conditions of the order?

Tiani4 · 18/11/2022 16:11

Wait? He has the restraining order on you? Or did you mistype OP @thisisasurvivor

Yabado · 18/11/2022 16:54

if your not the offender you don’t have a restraining order on you .

the offender I’m assuming is your ex partner is the one who has the restraining order -
It’s to restrain /prevent him from doing what ever is in the order

WeeOrcadian · 18/11/2022 16:55

Your OP isn't clear, I think you need to clarify it a bit, to get the best advice

Original poster

thisisasurvivor · 18/11/2022 17:59

So sorry so the restraining order is set so that he doesn't come near me

Sorry typed so fast earlier

OP posts:

TheSausageKingofChicago · 18/11/2022 18:29

Child contact arrangements are usually dealt with in the wording of the order - it’s often through a third party only. Give the officer who has been dealing with the case a call though. They will be able to help. 15 years is a long order - if he’s gone to prison you have time to work it all out. Hope you’re ok 💐

Original poster

thisisasurvivor · 18/11/2022 18:36

Thanks so so much xxxx

OP posts:

Pebbledashery · 18/11/2022 18:46

Restraining order on you doesn't affect contact with the children. Handovers can be done via a third party or contact centre. It is the view of the court that just because he was violent to you that doesn't mean he is unsafe to be around the children. Crazy, but true. As long as he wasn't violent towards kids, it's 99% likely he'll get contact. Even if he was he would still get contact, albeit supervised.

Original poster

thisisasurvivor · 18/11/2022 19:27

He was violent towards the kids

It has been documented

OP posts:

PeasRgood · 18/11/2022 23:27

Bumping for you

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 18/11/2022 23:51

Presuming you won’t agree contact, to get contact he’d have to go through the court. All the relevant history would then be heard by the judge and they would decide what contact to order. Restraining orders on one parent to another doesn’t always means no contact between the parent and child, but it might mean having a third person to do hand over or supervised contact, or indirect contact only. of course if he has harmed the children (which it sounds like he has) then that would inform the decision made in court about contact too.

we’re social care involved at the time sue to risk to children?

GetOffTheRoof · 19/11/2022 00:42

thisisasurvivor · 18/11/2022 19:27

He was violent towards the kids

It has been documented

So what are the exact terms of the order?

Original poster

thisisasurvivor · 19/11/2022 06:11

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 18/11/2022 23:51

Presuming you won’t agree contact, to get contact he’d have to go through the court. All the relevant history would then be heard by the judge and they would decide what contact to order. Restraining orders on one parent to another doesn’t always means no contact between the parent and child, but it might mean having a third person to do hand over or supervised contact, or indirect contact only. of course if he has harmed the children (which it sounds like he has) then that would inform the decision made in court about contact too.

we’re social care involved at the time sue to risk to children?

So so helpful

Yes social services were involved

Neighbours reported him attacking the kids too ( they heard the screams)

OP posts:

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 19/11/2022 07:07

If he went to court for COntact with the children CAFCAS would be involved and their work should highlight any relevant history - such as abuse.

is he working with probation?
If he is and he harmed the children it’s likely probation would want to liaise with social care before any contact.

Sounds really horrible for you and the children. I’m so glad you’re away now.

determinedtomakethiswork · 19/11/2022 07:16

What an absolute bastard he is.

Original poster

thisisasurvivor · 19/11/2022 08:19

Thank yoh all

He has managed to get away with a lot

I just hope the RO will be viewed badly against all he did to the kids

But who knows

It's a system designed by men for the benefit of men

OP posts:

Tiani4 · 19/11/2022 08:20

thisisasurvivor · 18/11/2022 17:59

So sorry so the restraining order is set so that he doesn't come near me

Sorry typed so fast earlier

Ah thanks for that clarification

Original poster

thisisasurvivor · 19/11/2022 08:27

It's all about keeping the kids safe now

I do not trust the courts at all

OP posts:

Original poster

thisisasurvivor · 19/11/2022 08:30

Oh and in court

When I described the rapes

I was told
That must have been unpleasant

When I said about all the attacks on the kids

Ah but he only did x, y, z

ONLY

Fcking joke

To anyone going through this madness I am thinking of you and hope you can get the strength you need

OP posts:

Original poster

thisisasurvivor · 20/11/2022 13:43

Can I ask

OP posts:

Original poster

thisisasurvivor · 20/11/2022 13:43

For all the views on here from those who got restraining orders

Did it keep you safe?

OP posts: