Ex Wife Pics and Wedding Ring

[Generalcookandbottlewasher]

Soooo….my OH and I have been married for 8 years and have 3 DC’s together. My OH was married briefly before to a very unsuitable woman (his words). We moved house a couple of years back and whilst clearing out to move I found lots of pics of his ex and his wedding ring. He said he would get rid. I have gone into his underwear drawer today only to find them squirrelled away at the back of it….AIBU to be really annoyed ?? WWYD?? Thanks for reading ☺️

🤣

I'd realise that for whatever reason he wants to keep the photos and I'd leave it alone.

some people are sentimental and want memories of their past.

Photos and ring that should read

My last boyfriend still had photographs of his ex wife (who'd had an affair with his best friend) hanging on his living room wall!
And 500 of her books in his study
And G-string knickers of hers still in his wardrobe
And she'd been gone four years....

Men are very different about this stuff. Most of the time they don't even notice it.

Women do notice it though so if they want to keep current woman, they need to manage previous woman appropriately.

It doesn't matter.

It's his past - you don't get to control it or make him throw it away. It doesn't work like that.

Yup, he said he was getting rid so he isn’t going to ask where are the pictures of me and my ex wife when he was meant to get rid of them 2 years ago 🤷🏼‍♀️

Op you’ve got flamed but I think the issue is more he said he’d get rid of the old photos years ago as respect to how you felt ie, photos of his ex in your family home that you don’t feel comfortable about ( and he clearly hasn’t divulged much about the significance of this first marriage to you, I imagine his divorce petition is hanging about too somewhere if he’s kept this stuff!).
Tell him you’ve come across it and point out if he doesn’t want your kids knowing he was married before he needs to either finally get rid or get a better hiding place!
ps I wouldn’t be ok with my husband stashing old photos of a ex wife and his wedding ring in our bedroom either - he’s either insensitive or emotionally hanging onto something he doesn’t want to discuss with you x

Totally off topic but that is the best username ever

You don't have the right to delete his life history.

Get him to put them in a envelope and seal it. He can open it any time he likes, but knowing they're still there if he ever needs them will hopefully be enough to stop him opening it. If that makes sense?

It's like keeping your old passport. You have a new one now but the bad haircut in the old one is part of your past and part of who you were.

I would think it's weird to try to erase a part of someone's past. My mum kept my dad's wedding ring and their wedding album etc even though they've been divorced for decades and she hated him

How would you feel about your bloke disposing of your belongings?

In all honesty my dad kept his wedding ring from my mum for years, my dd found it in Drawer of his few years ago and asked grandad about it. That ring is now my daughters though! He also kept a bunch of other stuff (cards/pics) from other long term exes over the years to.

They will decide when to get rid of them, on their terms

🧟‍♂️ 🧟‍♀️ 🧟

I think op is out of order but I wouldn’t agree the underwear drawer is the best top secret hiding place. I’m always sorting dh’s out as he’s a messy bugger and I can’t get the recently washed stuff in if I don’t sort it each time.

Wow. How insecure are you to think that's appropriate?

Sorry I replied to the wrong poster. I agree with you !