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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ban my 3 and 5 year old from the TV, and bed time stories for being very naughty on the way back from school

41 replies

ineedapoo · 30/01/2008 17:18

feel a bit guilty now

OP posts:
bubblagirl · 30/01/2008 17:24

i would ban tv but not bedtime story as this is the calming down for bed you dont want them going to bed feeling sad

just say if you eat dinner well or something you can have bedtime story

but dont back down on tv as they'll know you dont mean what you say

it is hard but you have to always follow through with consequences i would give the bedtime story back so you can all cuddle and make up for it

WiiMii · 30/01/2008 17:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NicMac · 30/01/2008 18:21

I do one or the other, i.e no tv if naughty, no story if really naughty. If they were VERY naughty you are completely reasonabale. Stick to your guns and they won't do it again

FAQ · 30/01/2008 18:23

I do think it's a little OTT to ban both - however I'd carry it through this time so they know you mean it.......and next time just make sure you only take one of them away

Oblomov · 30/01/2008 18:24

You've said it now. You must follow through. One night(even for both) is not he be-all-and-end-all.

needmorecoffee · 30/01/2008 18:24

yes. Toddlers really don't understand the connection between doing something naughty at 3pm and being punished at 6pm.

FAQ · 30/01/2008 18:26

NMC - you obviously don't know my DS2........he's 4 now, but when he was 3 (not so long ago) he would remember why he was in trouble several hours later.

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 30/01/2008 18:27

One or the other, personally I would do television. When you have finished the story, give them a big hug and say that you really hope tomorrow is going to be a better day.

luckylady74 · 30/01/2008 18:27

depends how you want the day to end really - moving on is nicest - i could never keep that up!

needmorecoffee · 30/01/2008 18:29

oh, they might remember, bt they don't make sense of it inside their heads and then the resentment takes over.
But then I don't punish and dd has never been naughty (she's nearly 4)

pointydog · 30/01/2008 18:39

you've gone a bit far. A tip I heard was to think of a punishment, then half it and you'll be getting closer to the mark

FrannyandZooey · 30/01/2008 18:40

i want to know what they did

I don't think bedtime stories should be banned, ever

kindersurprise · 30/01/2008 18:42

I would ban TV, but never ban bedtime stories as it is our favourite part of the day.

McDreamy · 30/01/2008 18:43

I have to admit it would be a bit too much for my children. I would maybe stick with the TV but not the bedtime story.

Maybe bedtime would be a nice time to sit down and talk to them about why you were so cross, what they did that made mummy feel like she did? And then put the whole incident to bed (no pun intended) and end the day on a high with a bedtime story.

juuule · 30/01/2008 18:48

YABU. Extreme reaction.
Certainly wouldn't ban bed-time reading.
I'd probably have been cross with them when I first got in from school and then let it go.

FrannyandZooey · 30/01/2008 18:49

what - did - they - do? what - did - they - DO?

Oblomov · 30/01/2008 19:03

Spill the beans, for Petes sake, what did they DO ????( F&Z)

harpsichordcarrier · 30/01/2008 19:05

yes, I would let it go tbh.

belgo · 30/01/2008 19:07

oh don't feel gulty.

good idea to ban TV as a punishment. I probably would't ban bedtime story.

HonoriaGlossop · 30/01/2008 19:16

Agree with the concensus, I think it was over the top. If you are going to punish then one thing is enough IMO but you spoke in the heat of the moment - you're human.

I would just say that as they have been so lovely since they got in (or even for 5 mins since they got in!) that they have earned back their stories.

Hulababy · 30/01/2008 19:23

Agree with others. I think teh TV ban is enough. I would never use part of wind down bedtme stuff as a punishment as I feel that everything should always be calm and nice before the end of the day, Never go to sleep on a bad word and all that.

TheDuchessOfNorksBride · 30/01/2008 19:49

Depends what they did - if they threw stones at cars or ran off, then fair enough.

TV ban is a great punishment because it's not distressing. I have refused to read bedtime stories on a couple of occasions, my DCs always understand why it's happened, even at 3yo, and it didn't ruin their bedtimes.

I hope you're all calm now.

Original poster
ineedapoo · 30/01/2008 20:15

they refused to get of the slides etc in school playground which they are not allowed to be on. they called each other names baby, poo etc. they spat and wiped snot on each other they pulled hair and hit each other all the way home in the car and refused to listen to me

OP posts:
juuule · 30/01/2008 20:18

sorry.
Hope you cancelled the punishments.

paddingtonbear1 · 30/01/2008 20:19

i would have banned the tv but not the bedtime story. Are they in bed now?