To tell off teenagers in a shopping centre?

[Whatamidoinhere]

I'm a bit shaken so excuse me if I seem like I'm rambling. I was in a shopping centre this morning with my 2 year old. Saw a group of loud kids, no big deal. There were 6 of them. 3 of them looked about 14 years old, 1 looked a bit younger and 2 of them much younger I'd say 8/9 years old. One of the older ones kept smacking the youngest on his head multiple times really hard you could year it from a far. People walking around seemed shocked as well. The younger one was crying. The older one caught him from behind his back and kept smacking his head/slapping his face while the rest of the teenagers were laughing. I was in utter shock, and my fight or flight kicked in. I went to the one who was hitting and yelled "stop, stop, don't you ever hit anyone like that ever again". He came and stood up very close to my face it was intimidating, but I stood still and looked him in the eye because I didn't want him to feel my fear. He kept shouting in my face "f off who do you think you are" and a myriad of mouth fulls before they all stormed off laughing and swearing at me. I'm Muslim and wear the hijab so they didn't miss the chance to make fun of it as well. The small one who was being hit walked with them as if nothing happened. The thing is the shopping centre was full of people walking by and everyone seemed to be watching without a word. I'm feeling shook and humiliated. AIBU?

What has being "...out at a shopping centre being assaulted by your 'friends' then racially abusing a woman who dares to stand up to you.. " got to do with being home educated? It's the behaviour that's putting them at risk. That's got nothing to do with how they are being educated. It's just prejudice

And why the "" ? Would you also do that about school? Would you say about a truanting teenager that is registered at school that they should have been at "school"?

Brave lady ! Where were the security guards though?

@Saltywalruss it doesn't have anything to do with being home educated, generally, but whether those children should be in school or whether they should be at home, they're doing neither.
Their parents are failing them.

So if they're supposedly home educated, they're not actually being home educated. If they're state educated, they're still not actually being educated.

You clearly home educate. Nobody's attacking home education.

I think a home educated child is more at risk in this scenario BECAUSE they don’t have the oversight a child in school does. Before everyone works themselves into a lather, I HE for MANY years and frankly a group of children out during the school day are in all likelihood truanting OR HE. IM(experienced)O a younger child in a group like this is extremely vulnerable.

Good for you OP. I am also a visibly muslim woman and personally I would have called security so they can do safeguarding checks too without them leaving the centre and then doing god knows what (yep James Bulger memories here too). I know some violent idiots will ramp things up if they hold certain prejudices and perceive you to be weak so I’m not about to put myself at risk, especially with kids in tow or worry about them following me, if I was with another adult then yes definitely, but I would also call security so they couldn’t leave without being questioned about what they’re doing there on a school day. I think they should have staff for this sort of thing at entrances tbh to avoid in the first place.

Let’s not turn this into a home ed thread 🙄

OP you were very brave. I would definitely call the police and also make them aware of the way they spoke to you. I have told teens off before and felt very shaken afterwards when I actually thought about the risks.

Well done OP. If it was my little one, I'd be grateful somebody stepped in x

Home educated children don't have to be at home during school hours. Home educated children are allowed to be in shopping centres during school hours. School hours are for schools to keep.

But obviously I am not advocating teenagers going round shopping centres abusing other children any time of day!

Yes I used to home educate and used get fed up with the prejudice ( still get fed up) .

Sorry for derailing your thread OP

You are seeing prejudice where there is none. Children are either educated in institutions or home educated. No slur was implied or meant.

@DomesticShortHair That was my first though too! Well done op, just a shame no one else stepped in to back you up. I agree with reporting it to the police as it could be a safeguarding concern.

Not that if makes the hitting ok but have you considered it may have been the 14 year olds younger sibling?

Good for you! We need more of you in the world!

It can be scary, speaking up. But you did the right thing.

I once confronted a man from the EDL (don't google them, racist nationalist thugs) on the street. They'd set up a stall and were giving out flags. I watched one approach a girl in a hijab, who was with a friend, and they can't have been more than 11 or 12. The girl took it, out of confusion and being confronted by this massive skinhead man. Then he walked back to his mates laughing.

I went over to her, asked for the flag, which she gave me, then marched back and threw it at the EDL man, with some variation of "you steaming shit-pile of humanity."

I was shaking afterwards, but actually really proud of myself!

Good for you OP!

So sorry they behaved like this towards you

YANBU and you were not humiliated. I can't believe so many adults walked past and did nothing. Ok I see the point that it might be intimidating for many women but surely any able bodied man have stepped in.

@Lovemylittlebear I am 57 and still remember my mum confronting a group who had a lad cornered and were throwing stones at him, and how he thanked her. I expect your daughter will always remember

Well done OP! Brava! Total queen. 👑

I'm sorry they responded by harassing you. And that you felt humiliated. I'm sure it was humiliating at the time, especially if they referenced your religion, but I hope you don't feel that feeling any more. You should feel nothing but pride for stepping in where a lot of people let the abuse of a child just continue.

Well done to you!! More little gits like this should be pulled up on their poor behaviour.

Well done for standing up to them. I wonder actually if you could report the incident to the police who can then if able to get clear cctv images trace them through contacting local schools. Our local post works closely with our school and is usually able to quickly identify suspects from cctv. They need to be spoken to about the violence to a minor and for their abuse and discrimination toward you.

I was the younger sibling in this situation. My db (6 years older) used to hit me and rough me up all the time in public, he feared no one. Dad didn't live near us so he basically got away with it. I'd have been grateful for someone to step in and get him told. So sorry op, some teens are just horrible. How no one else stepped in first or to back you up sickens me. Well done for stepping in ❤️

You are brave and you did the right thing. That poor kid. You are braver than me. What a nasty little oik Where was security

Good for you for speaking up. Bloody awful behaviour by them. Wonder if it was caught on Cctv?

Well done you. I’ve tackled bad behaviour in the past and know how you feel when everyone else ignores it.

Well done 👏🏻⭐️
They should have been in school if it was Wednesday morning.
Where were the shopping centre security guards ?
Was it in one of the big shopping centres around Dublin ?
I think there's a real problem with young fellows now thinking they can act with impunity. They know the law is on their side because of their age.

Who the heck voted YABU?! Well done OP! Not an easy thing to do.

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I'm feeling much better now. The incident was reported to the police and it was probably caught on CCTV as they were right in the middle of the shopping centre and lots of kiosk sellers were around and saw what happened. Security came but it was too late and they already went out.