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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell off teenagers in a shopping centre?

119 replies

Whatamidoinhere · 16/11/2022 14:05

I'm a bit shaken so excuse me if I seem like I'm rambling. I was in a shopping centre this morning with my 2 year old. Saw a group of loud kids, no big deal. There were 6 of them. 3 of them looked about 14 years old, 1 looked a bit younger and 2 of them much younger I'd say 8/9 years old. One of the older ones kept smacking the youngest on his head multiple times really hard you could year it from a far. People walking around seemed shocked as well. The younger one was crying. The older one caught him from behind his back and kept smacking his head/slapping his face while the rest of the teenagers were laughing. I was in utter shock, and my fight or flight kicked in. I went to the one who was hitting and yelled "stop, stop, don't you ever hit anyone like that ever again". He came and stood up very close to my face it was intimidating, but I stood still and looked him in the eye because I didn't want him to feel my fear. He kept shouting in my face "f off who do you think you are" and a myriad of mouth fulls before they all stormed off laughing and swearing at me. I'm Muslim and wear the hijab so they didn't miss the chance to make fun of it as well. The small one who was being hit walked with them as if nothing happened. The thing is the shopping centre was full of people walking by and everyone seemed to be watching without a word. I'm feeling shook and humiliated. AIBU?

OP posts:
Whatamidoinhere · 16/11/2022 14:46

Another question. I live in Ireland and am originally from another country so not familiar with the law. Do I just call 999 or there's another way to contact the police for non-emergency situations?

OP posts:
PollyAmour · 16/11/2022 14:54

Well done, you brave lady! Teenagers en masse are a scary beast. You did the right thing. If you report it to the police, they can check the CCTV and hopefully identify the main culprit.

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/11/2022 14:55

Are you in the ROI? These are the ways of contacting the police. www.citizensinformation.ie/en/justice/law_enforcement/reporting_a_crime.html in NI it’s 101 for non emergency.

Well done for challenging them albeit you did put yourself at risk. I’m so sorry the thugs were abusive and racially abuse you. You should also report this.

OoooohMatron · 16/11/2022 14:58

Good for you. I'd love to think I'd do the same but in reality I'm really not sure I would, unless I had another adult there as back up.

downanduppy · 16/11/2022 15:05

Thank you for saying something. So many people don't. That poor child.

Whatamidoinhere · 16/11/2022 15:05

Made a report. The lady told me they will check the CCTV and handle it.

OP posts:
CopOut27 · 16/11/2022 15:09

Good for you OP, you did the right thing.

Adarajames · 16/11/2022 15:09

You superstar! Well done, so few people will step in, if more did then maybe so many kids wouldn’t be so out of hand!

Especially well done for doing so in a country you are not yet sure about, and when being extra vulnerable by way of sex and religion / ethnicity, I hope you can begin to feel better about the situation, you certainly deserve to feel great!

catwithflowers · 16/11/2022 15:15

You are very brave and without a doubt did the right thing ♥️

Babochan88 · 16/11/2022 15:16

You’re a queen, such a brave person you are! Littlest one following them doesn’t negate that you did the right thing.

TheMarzipanDildo · 16/11/2022 15:19

My first thought was Jamie Bulger too. He was screaming, in front of loads of witnesses, and nobody stopped those boys.

Well done OP, and I’m sorry that they were awful to you as well.

spiderlight · 16/11/2022 15:29

Good for you! You were very brave and it can't have been easy. I hope that poor little boy is OK. Glad you've reported it.

PlainOldMe80 · 16/11/2022 15:32

Well done! Also well done for reporting it to the police! That poor boy must have been so scared, also intimidated by them! Hopefully he will realise these people are not his friends!

To the people saying phone the police whilst it was going on, do yous know how long it takes for the police to show up these days? This brave lady handled it very well and stopped the situation there and then!

1001Daffodils · 16/11/2022 15:33

Well done. I've done similar and these teens are pretty scary when they turn their aggression on you. They're basically fully grown men with the protection of being "children" in the eyes of the law.

I squared right back at the thug, pointed out the numerous witnesses and CCTV (which he helpfully looked straight at when I pointed it out) and asked if he really thought a middle aged woman would be too scared to report him to the police. He tried staring me down but I was unmovable so he eventually slunk off.

I know it's a dangerous thing to do, insert yourself into a situation with violence as a possible outcome - but like you, I just couldn't stand and watch whilst he slapped about someone younger and smaller than him. In my case the younger child scarpered as soon as I took attention away from the thug which made it feel worthwhile.

The police didn't follow anything up with me, but I'm glad I reported it if only because it adds to any evidence they may already be gathering on the person.

You did good!

youcantry · 16/11/2022 15:35

Well done. I would, and have done the same, cannot tolerate bullying. I think a PP is right and you should report to the the police and contact the shopping mall. Teens tend to hang around the same places so they will probably be back there soon. Hope you're feeling calmer now,

AbsoluteYawns · 16/11/2022 15:38

Thank goodness for people like you OP.

That kid sounds like an utter shitbag.
The fact they made fun of your Hijab just shows how gross and disgusting they are.

Appalling how no one else came to your side.

hoochyhag · 16/11/2022 15:39

Well done you are fearless 🤩
I'm always telling off teenagers 😂

ChimbarasiKotapaxi · 16/11/2022 15:50

You are very brave OP Respect

Saltywalruss · 16/11/2022 15:54

Itisbetter · 16/11/2022 14:25

I don’t know why you feel humiliated you should feel like a champion. Call the police and report that child is being abused in plain sight. It’s a school day so they are either truanting or home educated, either way at risk. I think you should always stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves.

Being home educated doesn't mean that you are "at risk".

Saltywalruss · 16/11/2022 15:55

Well done OP. I do think you should report this to the police. There will be CCTV

girlmom21 · 16/11/2022 15:56

Being home educated doesn't mean that you are "at risk".

Being 'home educated' and out at a shopping centre being assaulted by your 'friends' then racially abusing a woman who dares to stand up to you probably means you're at risk.

GlassDeli · 16/11/2022 15:58

Well done OP, you stepped in when everyone else walked on by. I agree with letting the police know.

Margepettifer · 16/11/2022 16:00

Well done, OP; you are very brave! It’s a shame others didn’t come to your assistance though.😞

AryaStarkWolf · 16/11/2022 16:01

You were so brave to do that OP, people are afraid to get involved for fear of backlash like you got but you were right to do it

KimberleyClark · 16/11/2022 16:01

Well done, you did the right thing.