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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find my job demeaning?

26 replies

waterwithaview · 16/11/2022 08:00

Been in my job for around a year but in a completely new career.

It involves a lot of work with internal and external stakeholders. Yet everyone ignores me. For example I get told on a call this is extremely urgent and we need it doing asap. I then do my part of the role revert back to them, need them to ok certain things and they won’t reply for days … can hardly be that important then can it.

One woman ignored me for a month. I called, emailed and then she tried to go behind my back and get it signed off by finance without having any kind of contract in place. I don’t think she realised that the final approval was done by me. She never apologised.

I just can’t be bothered anymore. These people are adults and I shouldn’t have to constantly chase people up that I’m actually supporting.

OP posts:
HowDoYouOwnDisorder · 16/11/2022 08:04

I am in a similar role

i need to chase my boss and remind him to do things, that is part of my role. But also, my boss ignores me as I am his junior

so we have a report that needs to be out every 1st of the month. My boss needs to write part of this report. I always chase him for a week or longer, then report is ready by about the 8th

ever month, the MD says: nice report but why is it a week late again. Can’t blame my manager, as that would backfire

drives me nuts

Shemovesshemoves21 · 16/11/2022 08:09

I feel your frustration - been there myself! I started taking on the work, dealing with it as normal (I.e. an urgent task being taken forward quickly) and would forward as urgent marked all over the place. Chase up maybe once or twice and then leave it. If questioned I always forwarded my chaser emails and cc'd in the person who wasn't responding. I also started asking what the deadline was and what their expectations of me are when people don't respond (especially good if those people are on the same call/email chain!). It's annoying but when I stopped making it my problem, I felt a lot less frustrated and would just shrug it off. You can only do your best!

torquewench · 16/11/2022 08:15

HowDoYouOwnDisorder · 16/11/2022 08:04

I am in a similar role

i need to chase my boss and remind him to do things, that is part of my role. But also, my boss ignores me as I am his junior

so we have a report that needs to be out every 1st of the month. My boss needs to write part of this report. I always chase him for a week or longer, then report is ready by about the 8th

ever month, the MD says: nice report but why is it a week late again. Can’t blame my manager, as that would backfire

drives me nuts

Cant you chase him by email, copying in the MD? Is MD also male? Are you M or F? I suspect one of the reasons your boss is ignoring you may be to do with more than just you being junior.🤔

Original poster
waterwithaview · 16/11/2022 08:15

Thank you both, I’m tempted to look for a new job but then I think what if it’s the same experience anyway. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m not a senior or people are just shit.

It’s more annoying because my manager seems to take the view that it should be me constantly emailing and calling - whereas I’m getting to the point of 3 strikes and out. You can chase me.

OP posts:
DrManhattan · 16/11/2022 08:18

Total feel this. Some people are just so rude! What's the harm in adding a 'please' to an email. Try not to take it personally and let it get to you xxx

Shemovesshemoves21 · 16/11/2022 08:23

waterwithaview · 16/11/2022 08:15

Thank you both, I’m tempted to look for a new job but then I think what if it’s the same experience anyway. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m not a senior or people are just shit.

It’s more annoying because my manager seems to take the view that it should be me constantly emailing and calling - whereas I’m getting to the point of 3 strikes and out. You can chase me.

I'd be inclined to tell your manager a few home truths. It's not efficient or a good use of your time to chase people who need to manage their time better and I would be saying it's time they start supporting you in being able to do your job effectively - that's their job after all! Sometimes it's better to leave though. I moved jobs and it was a lot better (but I also changed how I tackled these issues in the workplace based on my experience and set a tone for what I expected from others, which helped massively).

LBFseBrom · 16/11/2022 08:25

Waterwithaduck, that is a horrible situation and I sympathise.

Walk tall, be confident, make your presence felt. You can do it girl!

plinkypots · 16/11/2022 08:36

I really wouldn't copy in the MD simply because someone isn't responding to you. That would make her look like a right twat. If the boss expects her to chase more senior people then that's the job. I think junior staff often have no idea how much the more senior managers are juggling. They mostly aren't rude just busy and what might seem important just keeps getting shunted down the list.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 16/11/2022 08:38

HowDoYouOwnDisorder · 16/11/2022 08:04

I am in a similar role

i need to chase my boss and remind him to do things, that is part of my role. But also, my boss ignores me as I am his junior

so we have a report that needs to be out every 1st of the month. My boss needs to write part of this report. I always chase him for a week or longer, then report is ready by about the 8th

ever month, the MD says: nice report but why is it a week late again. Can’t blame my manager, as that would backfire

drives me nuts

I'd make it very clear it was going to be sent on the due date, with or without his section, and then I'd do it.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 16/11/2022 08:43

waterwithaview · 16/11/2022 08:15

Thank you both, I’m tempted to look for a new job but then I think what if it’s the same experience anyway. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m not a senior or people are just shit.

It’s more annoying because my manager seems to take the view that it should be me constantly emailing and calling - whereas I’m getting to the point of 3 strikes and out. You can chase me.

I had a manager that would never respond. The only way to get them to respond after chasing being ignored was to say unless I hear from you by x I will do y. (sign off the contract / cancel the contract / whatever)

Then at the deadline you've given, again say 'unless I hear from you within the next hour, I will be cancelling the contract at 4pm (or whatever)'

Alternatively can you physically go and stand in front of them and not leave until you have whatever it is you need?

VeronicaFranklin · 16/11/2022 09:15

You don't work in financial consulting do you? This is literally what it is like all the time...painful.

Oblomov22 · 16/11/2022 09:25

If you've talked to your Manager about it and that it his response, then that doesn't bode well does it re company's mentality and ethos. What a shame. Start looking at new jobs?

Poopoolittlerabbit · 16/11/2022 09:28

Get a new job?
I’ve found it much harder to get responses out of people now we’re mainly WFH. They don’t know who you are, less likelynthey’ll get back to you.

TwinklingStarlight · 16/11/2022 09:30

waterwithaview · 16/11/2022 08:15

Thank you both, I’m tempted to look for a new job but then I think what if it’s the same experience anyway. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m not a senior or people are just shit.

It’s more annoying because my manager seems to take the view that it should be me constantly emailing and calling - whereas I’m getting to the point of 3 strikes and out. You can chase me.

Different offices have different cultures. You're right it could be the same, but it could also be much much better.

thecatsthecats · 16/11/2022 09:34

Ha, yes, I can sympathise.

Recent kerfuffle - I'm asked somewhat vaguely to complete "the financials" for a report. I do so well within the deadline, and offer, repeatedly, to help with the rest of the report. Several acknowledged exchanges by the others.

A fortnight later, I'm given a ticking off because the report hasn't gone out. Don't I know that it's IMPORTANT for the report to go out? That we might not get PAID if the report doesn't go out.

I calmly and inoffensively point out what happened. Nope, I was asked to do the full report - except it literally never says that, and even if I'd misread it, it was clear as day in my follow ups that I was only doing the financials.

When I leave (imminently) they'll wail and knash their teeth, like they do when anyone quits, but they will never tackle the problem.

Incidentally, one of the things I discussed extensively at interview was THE FACT THAT I HAVE RUN A COMPANY FIXING EXACTLY THESE PROBLEMS.

Moobae · 16/11/2022 09:47

Work stress isn’t worth the wrinkles. If you aren’t happy just find somewhere else.

Original poster
waterwithaview · 16/11/2022 09:55

VeronicaFranklin · 16/11/2022 09:15

You don't work in financial consulting do you? This is literally what it is like all the time...painful.

No, I do work in the finance sector though.

OP posts:
Original poster
waterwithaview · 16/11/2022 09:58

Moobae · 16/11/2022 09:47

Work stress isn’t worth the wrinkles. If you aren’t happy just find somewhere else.

It’s not that easy though is it? I live alone so I’m solely responsible for all outgoings. Like all adults should but it’s not like I can take a lower paid job with a partner who could help. My mortgage has also doubled.

And who’s to say the new job wouldn’t be the exact same. Many people on this thread seem to prove my issue is a common one.

OP posts:
HowDoYouOwnDisorder · 16/11/2022 11:31

@torquewench yes I am female. And middle aged at that

if I cc’d the MD in my e-mails chasing my manger for his input, that would be considered an act of aggression by my manager

It sometimes comes up in meetings where J have to apologise for the report being late again. My manager just looks at me to see what I’m going to say

if I’d blame him in front of everyone, our working relationship would be toast

there is no solution

it’s a power game, and I’m not playing

xogossipgirlxo · 16/11/2022 12:07

Ugh, I hear ya. I used to have manager like this. She chased something, labelled it "VERY URGENT", then changed her mind, and it wasn't necessary anymore, bombarded me with another VeRy UrGeNt task and so on... I left the job not on the best terms with her.

Honestly, if it wasn't for money, I wouldn't bother with job at all. I would volunteer somewhere and spend time on my hobbies. It's so overrated, especially corporate jobs. Definitely don't make me content.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 16/11/2022 14:41

HowDoYouOwnDisorder · 16/11/2022 08:04

I am in a similar role

i need to chase my boss and remind him to do things, that is part of my role. But also, my boss ignores me as I am his junior

so we have a report that needs to be out every 1st of the month. My boss needs to write part of this report. I always chase him for a week or longer, then report is ready by about the 8th

ever month, the MD says: nice report but why is it a week late again. Can’t blame my manager, as that would backfire

drives me nuts

You can easily fix this.

Set deadlines for your boss. Be clear if he doesn't adhere to them, then his input will be noted as 'not received'. You shouldn't have to get in trouble for his laziness.

If you feel like it and it's possible you can always include it as a late addendum that hasn't been checked or whatever.

@waterwithaview - when I have to do stuff like this, once I get to a certain amount of no responses I gather them all up into one email, send to my boss and tell him clearly this person doesn't want to respond so I'm handing over the baton. This sounds like it might not work for you - so instead, when you send an email requiring a response, put voting buttons on it and a bold statement that says something like if no response is sent by COB X date, then your offline acceptance will be noted. IME seniors really HATE this but when they go out their way to be obnoxious then they can stuff it quite frankly.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 16/11/2022 14:42

(That doesn't help with when you've dropped everything to help with something though)

Brefugee · 16/11/2022 14:44

for the twats in our organisation i write a mail. I highlight who has to do what and when and who the next signer-offer is

And then i resend it every day. I've been reprimanded about this - and i have pointed out that if i don't do it, things don't get done. So i keep doing it

And on the day things are overdue? I include partners.

Original poster
waterwithaview · 16/11/2022 16:36

HowDoYouOwnDisorder · 16/11/2022 11:31

@torquewench yes I am female. And middle aged at that

if I cc’d the MD in my e-mails chasing my manger for his input, that would be considered an act of aggression by my manager

It sometimes comes up in meetings where J have to apologise for the report being late again. My manager just looks at me to see what I’m going to say

if I’d blame him in front of everyone, our working relationship would be toast

there is no solution

it’s a power game, and I’m not playing

Is there no way you could just submit it without his part?

OP posts:
Brefugee · 17/11/2022 07:55

if I cc’d the MD in my e-mails chasing my manger for his input, that would be considered an act of aggression by my manager

I would remind your manager that i find not being able to complete tasks due to having to chase him a more serious act of a) aggression and b) not doing the job they're paid to do.

it is an act of escalation if you have been chasing them. So, you need to ask for a meeting with your team to discuss processes, when certain tasks/actions must be completed and the actions to take if this doesn't happen. (eg Manager must sign by day X. On x+1 you ccall to remind. on x+2 you email to remind on x+3 you forward that mail to manager and entire team on x+4 you escalate to the next level and wash your hands of it.