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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask someone to stop clicking their joints

58 replies

hairyunicorn · 15/11/2022 16:20

The guy i sit next to at work keeps clicking his joints. Fingers, knuckles, knees everything. He dose it about every 5 minutes and it is driving me insane.

when he dose his knees he pushes back from his desk and kicks his legs out one at a time. The sound goes right through me and is very loud. is there any polite way to ask him to bloody stop. i know there isn't, so i am just posting so i don't kill him today

OP posts:
Isitsixoclockalready · 15/11/2022 16:22

Makes me cringe.

Original poster
hairyunicorn · 15/11/2022 16:34

He is a lovely guy but my gosh i could stab him in the neck with a pen right now. Today's clicking seems to be on over-drive

OP posts:
Wanderingowl · 15/11/2022 16:39

For some people joint cracking is necessary to ease the pain from the pressure of built up gas in the joint. So as annoying as it may be, not doing it could cause him increasing discomfort and pain throughout the day.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 15/11/2022 16:40

DS does this.

Sometimes I have to grit my teeth and remind myself that I birthed him, I must deal with his freakery.

AndyWarholsPiehole · 15/11/2022 16:43

YANBU. I left a previous job without another to go to as a colleague wouldn't stop clicking her joints despite me asking her nicely not to do it/ not to do it near me. I really can't stand it.

theonlygirl · 15/11/2022 16:44

DS 2 does his knuckles as part of his motor Tic syndrome. I'm struggling to think someone would do all their joints so frequently if there wasn't an issue cos it is absolutely horrible. Do you think you could find a way to bring it up and ask him if there's a reason he does it?
If he doesn't then go ahead and kill him.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 15/11/2022 16:47

I can't move without my joints clicking. Neck, arms, hands, legs, back you name it. Granted I don't do it on purpose. But surely he has a reason. I suppose you could ask him. Can't you wear headphones?

mamakoukla · 15/11/2022 16:52

Some days I can’t stop the clicking but I rarely crack my joints on purpose. If I do the latter it’s because I need to release the joint (pain buildup)

pointythings · 15/11/2022 16:53

My DS does it. We're still investigating what's wrong, but if he doesn't the pain just builds and builds. A lot of people don't do it for the funsies.

Roundandnour · 15/11/2022 16:53

You would hate me.
I could try and stop manually doing them but I would be in a lot of pain, discomfort and unable to work.

The uncontrolled ones can only stop if I don’t move.

barskits · 15/11/2022 16:54

People with hypermobility often have to do this, because their joints hurt - as a pp describes upthread, but it can be very unpleasant to have to listen to them doing it.

Cracking his joints every few minutes is a bit over the top though. Maybe go to your line manager and explain that although you wouldn't want to offend him if he can't help it due to a medical conditions, he's going to have to stop doing it or you will kill him because it is driving you round the twist so please can they have a quiet word.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 15/11/2022 16:59

You could try, but if he's anything like me (autoimmune and connective tissue diseases that affect joints, cartilage, tendons, etc), you'd find yourself having to do all his work for him because he wouldn't be able to move without. When he wasn't off sick with back, neck, hip, knee, elbow, ankle, wrist and shoulder pain or unable to flush the toilet, get dressed or open his front door because his hands won't work without having to free them off first. And if you discount the clicks and pops that happen out of nowhere.

It's not normally done for shits and giggles, it's a symptom of issues that are essentially untreatable - he's in pain. Pain that isn't sorted by painkillers, either.

GooglyEyeballs · 15/11/2022 17:03

I voted YABU because I need to crack my fingers every few hours otherwise they stiffen up. I try not to do it in meetings though as it can be quite loud and I know some people find it off putting. If you asked me to stop I'd think about doing it and probably do it more frequently because I'm thinking about it.

Snugglemonkey · 15/11/2022 17:17

I think you are not being unreasonable. I would have to say something or ask to move or something. I have misophonia and I just would not be able to cope with that.

lawofselfish · 15/11/2022 17:19

Wanderingowl · 15/11/2022 16:39

For some people joint cracking is necessary to ease the pain from the pressure of built up gas in the joint. So as annoying as it may be, not doing it could cause him increasing discomfort and pain throughout the day.

More likely to be a bad habit

custardbear · 15/11/2022 17:27

I make big 😱 noises when people do it ok purpose ... though my joints now creak and crack loads just walking! Thanks menopause and hyper mobility!

CuntyMcBollocks · 15/11/2022 17:36

lawofselfish · 15/11/2022 17:19

More likely to be a bad habit

Show quote history

I very much doubt its just a bad habit. Literally every single one of my joints clicks and they become very stiff and painful if I can't crack them. I'm sure most people who have to do it would rather not. We know how annoying it is for others, but it can't be helped.

pocketvenuss · 15/11/2022 17:47

And here we have the problem. One person is in pain unless they click their joints. Another person has misophonia and is negatively affected by the sound of clicking joints. What a dilemma.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/11/2022 17:47

Can you ask to be moved away from him in the first place? He may have a reason why he has to do this.I would find it beyond annoying but I do have my own reasons why this is the case.

mamakoukla · 15/11/2022 17:51

Not always! I can’t help it eg walking causes cracking sounds from ankles and sometimes also the toes and feet

Windbeneathmybingowings · 15/11/2022 17:52

My body clicks involuntarily because of my condition. Even my hip bones click. I get it’s annoying but it’s probably unreasonable to ask him not to.

mamakoukla · 15/11/2022 17:53

mamakoukla · 15/11/2022 17:51

Not always! I can’t help it eg walking causes cracking sounds from ankles and sometimes also the toes and feet

Sorry this was meant to be posted in response to the it’s more likely a bad habit comment. Would love not to have noisy joints!

Sparklfairy · 15/11/2022 17:53

I have to periodically, particularly my back, shoulders, and one elbow and shoulder (!). The back I really try not to do around people as its a loud brrrrr all the way down but sometimes I have no choice, it's painful otherwise.

I don't think your irritation trumps his comfort tbh. You can ask to move but can't ask him to stop.

ladydimitrescu · 15/11/2022 18:05

I have to do my elbows or the pain is absolutely unbearable due to hyper mobility, it is agony when they seize.
Based on that, YABU.

TrashyPanda · 15/11/2022 18:10

Another one whose joints give off sounds not unlike rifle shots.

people with joint conditions can’t help this. It’s not like he’s dislocating his joints for pleasure.